just ranting to myself...sort of. not really a rant

[soonto_be]

It all started Friday at the beginning of work. She knew it was going to be a bad day, and by the time she went on her break, she was on the verge of tears. She still had some time left after she ate, so she decided to call Becky. Maybe talk out some stuff before it got out of hand. But her boss called her in ten minutes early, so she didn't get to. As the day went on, she felt worse. On the edge. With those jittery feelings that only one thing helps. But she didn't want to give in. By the time she got off work, she was in too bad of shape to call. So she went home. Maybe someone will be online she thought. So she got online. Sure enough, in a few minutes Sam got on. I don't want to worry her since she's gone right now was the only thing that went through her mind. And before she could convince herself otherwise, Sam got off. She was getting worse, so after a few minutes of thinking about it, she decided to message Kallie. But just as she did, Kallie got off. So she figured she'd stay on a few more minutes. Maybe, just maybe, someone would get on. Anyone she could talk to. And sure enough, Dan got on. Should I talk to him about it? she wondered. She had in the past, but she wasn't sure how far to trust him. Also, he was busy with his band stuff. Don't bother him the voice in her head told her. So she didn't. She got offline. And wnet into her room. By this time, she had decided she needed to cut herself. But she wasn't ready, not quite yet. So she stated reading a book on self injury. She read for probably ten minutes and then cut herself. She was too far gone to care.

The morning after

She woke up the next morning. I wonder how long it will be before everyone gives up on me? she mused. Some people had given up on her, long ago. But there were still some that wanted to see her beat the self injury. She relised that morning that she wasn't worth the people caring about her. All she would ever do would be hurt them. And she knew that it would only be a matter of time before the few people she had left gave up on her. That thought hurt her more then anything else. But it was the truth.

 

[Cat59]

Whoever this story is about needs to know that they are worth it and people do care. People here care and most importantly, the Lord cares and holds you in the palm of His hand.
My pm box is always open to people who just need to talk when feeling low or sad..
and
Cat

 

[luv4godremains]

same, this person needs to know that God sent his only son to die for them, to know that that is how much God loves them, enough for his only son to be sent to die, to die the most painful death! they need to know that people care and want to help them, whether they are afraid of talking about it or not!
my PM box is also always open!
God bless
*hugs*
xXx

 

[eastside9008]

i felt the same way up until a few months ago. i felt that my life had no direction and i questioned my place in this world and why i was even here. we are all here because of Him. He gave me my reason to live. read the bible; Psalms 91 really helped me alot. you can pm me whenever needed. He's always there to talk to.
-Alexandria

"Never understimate my Jesus"

 

[soonto_be]

but what if the person knows the Christ died for her and it doesn't even help at all?

 

[Cat59]

Sometimes when we really are low, our feelings are so intense that even good news doesn't make us feel better, even the bestest good news of all, that Jesus suffered and died and rose again for us, so that with His help, we can get over the deepest darkest problems we may have. That's when we need to seek help from people with the skills to assist us through it. Perhaps she could talk to her pastor about it, or a counsellor ( many churches have them). If she couldn't talk to anyone at church, perhaps she could talk to her doctor or family or friends about her problems, so they can assist her get the help she needs.
Hugs and prayers for her!