Hello everyone. I'm 46 I had an unwanted blasphemous thought the 1st time when I was 18 yrs old. It was a thought towards the Holy Spirit. Needless to say that I became tormented with fear and anxiety for weeks. when those feelings finally subsided I spent the next twenty yrs. Doubtful of my salvation. afraid of dying, like an outsider,from the body of Christ.All these yrs I thought I was the only one that had these thoughts.Untill 5 yrs ago I had what U Guys call here a really bad spike. I was in a church service when all of sudden from nowhere had a thought this time it was blaspheming christ. The spike was so bad that I was tormented with fear to such a degree that I couldn't wait to go to sleep at nights because that was the only time when my mind would shut off. This was all during 2004. During this period I found a spirit- filled therapist that informed me that what I was experiencing was ocd. He recomended that I take meds. during this time period I found this forum and read about others with the same struggle that I have. It was this that gave me some hope because I began to believe this is a disease.So since 2004 I have been taking celexa it didnt take the thoughts away but they were less frequent. But I will mention that the ocd attached it self to other things that I consider sacred regarding my faith; like the cross the blood of Jesus, but I just ignored them and told myself it was the ocd. I must say that I have always hated these thoughts and I cant control them and I wish with all my heart that I didnt have them. I got to the point where I no longer feared death I felt at peace with God,myself,others. So I decided to wean myself off the meds oct of 2009. well a week ago I began to spike and the thoughts have come back with a vengence. It is not as bad as it was in 2004 because the rational side of me keeps telling me it is the ocd. this is kinda of the short version of my story. but I placed this post because you guys understand and just needed some reassuring I guess.
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just needed some reassurance
- Thread starter renewedmind
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the.Sheepdog
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We do understand your terrors and spikes sir. Many on this forum tell of exactly the same things. I am mild ocd myself. I was, back when it had no name.
Mine started from combat pressures in my war in SE Asia.
Just know that Jesus knows what OCD is and He also knows you dont mean anything that your controlled mind says or tries to make you believe.
Try getting back into treatment if you can. The meds arent great but they are worlds better than the unrestricted voices. I will be praying for you my brother.
Mine started from combat pressures in my war in SE Asia.
Just know that Jesus knows what OCD is and He also knows you dont mean anything that your controlled mind says or tries to make you believe.
Try getting back into treatment if you can. The meds arent great but they are worlds better than the unrestricted voices. I will be praying for you my brother.
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You're not alone. Every one here understands completely. God knows that we are human. We have human bodies and minds. The Bible tells us that God looks at the heart. And I am certain that God knows your heart and also as the previous poster said knows what OCD is. He is all knowing after all! 
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Thank you brother. even though the spike isn't as bad as it was 2004, I am experiencing mild anxiety,and doubt that God might not understand. But I 've read this disease is called the doubting disease. the mild anxiety comes and goes. thanks for your encouragement.
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Just prayed for you. Known that others with OCD, such as I and those who posted, understand and are here for you. God is here for you too and will love you through this and knows your heart. His love never leaves and He will always be there for you.
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michael714
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Yes, believe me you're not alone. I hate those spikes. Just prayed for you too.
Are you going back on the medication?
Are you going back on the medication?
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God knows and understands. Who cares what it's called. He knows your heart. He knows you better than you. They are distractions. Continue living and ignore them the best way possible. It sucks that it attaches to the one we truly love but it just shows how strong the power of Christ is that we're all still standing and praying and reading REGARDLESS of what enters our mind. That's faith right there because we continue walking no matter what is thrown at us. You are strong and you will be rewarded. Just hang on to your faith. Keep praying. Keep reading the word. You're going to be okay. The battle is already won. Praise God. And keep holding on to your faith. He loves you more than you know. Also read all of John 14 and into John 15. John 14 is my favorite. It got me through a lot of rough nights.
John 16: 33 These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer: I have overcome the world.
John 16: 33 These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer: I have overcome the world.
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