Just don't know what to do?

[Michael ashe]

I have major problems in my life;-
Social anxiety - death, hell, general life and the list could go on.
Depression
Post traumatic stress disorder
Over hyper imagination
High levels of emotions (I can flip from happy to near crying in seconds)
Hallucinations (hearing voices, thinking demons are watching me)
Majorly parnoid
Mild dementia

Up untill I was 13 I was a Christian, I definitely believed that the Lord Jesus Christ died for our sins. Then I fell into the world and stopped believing, at 14 I was drinking, at 15 smoking weed and shortly before my 16 birthday I started taking class A drugs. This completely escalated from there on I would be taking drugs on the regular and really abused anything I could get my hands on if I thought it would give me a buzz. When I was 17 I tried LSD and had a bad trip where I thought I was being dragged to hell, it was one of the scariest nights of my life for me and my friends as I was uncontrollable for 3 hours then passed out, thankfully I awoke an hour later fine but had no memory of what happened it was only weeks and even years later that I remembered what truly happened that night. but this didn't stop me taking drugs if anything I dove in harder. At 17-1/2 I was out drinking and fell over and fractured my skull badly and led to a brain hemorrhage, I got really bad headaches and had to get a VP shunt (a tube from my brain to my stomach to drain excess fluid) this is still in me. after the operation the doctor, told me this could work for 1 day or 1000 days and hopefully I have 15 -20 years to work and maybe they can fix it if it stops working. it can lead to a coma or death at any point in my life. this shocked me to the core and so I made ever day like my last, I would do anything to make me happy as this is when the anxiety started about death, so drugs would be the only thing to make me stop thinking.
At age 20th drugs started to not really work for me any more, I would have to take more and more and eventually they stopped working at all, I would just be taking them because my body needed them, I would be walking around and it literally felt like demons where watching me and sometimes on my back. on my 21st birthday night, my girlfriend at the time told me she didn't want to be with me anymore and she was leaving me. I was completely heart broke, I loved her so much and it destroyed me inside. The day after my birthday I decided I was going to kill myself, I was sitting in my car trying to work how I would do it amd where. then I heard a voice, it was so calm, so welcoming and peaceful, said "don't do that come unto me" It felt like the voice of God, I couldn't believe it but my whole life flashed before me eyes and everything made sense of how my life had went, so I repented there and asked God to help me. The following week I still felt abit crazy for hearing that voice so I tested it, I read the Bible and saw more and more signs pointing to the fact that God is real and it felt like everything was going to be okay, I had this feeling of peace. I soon started going to church and my life was turning around for the better.
It's been 4 months on, till this day sense my 21St birthday I haven't taken any drugs or drink at all.
Ive seeked help from a Christian guy that helps people with drug problems and when I told him my story he said it takes roughly a year for all the drugs to come out of my system and to feel normal again, but it took him about 2-3 years and said my story matches his nearly to the té.

Im on here to seek help as I feel like I'm at the end of my rope, I've still got all the problems before I got saved only that I no longer take drugs. I know I've got mental health problem but I don't know how much longer I can fight the good fight, I have voices in my head every day (nearly every second) It feels like theres 3 voices in my head, 1 good voice, 1 bad voice, and my stuck in the middle, my opinion. I have mad thoughts that normal people shouldn't like suicide or killing people. then I have the good voices telling me what I should do like be productive and live a good life. Before I became a Christian I would stop the thought by taking drugs but I can't do that anymore obviously, I know what I should and shouldn't do, sometimes I can go on a be okay but most of the time I'm completely silent to the people around because of the mad thoughts, I can't control it. I have managed to hold of from taking drink or drugs amd most of the time I just distract myself driving about, reading my Bible or TV but the distractions only last for so long untill the voices start. many times I've thought about commiting suicide but have swore not too for my families sake for how much they love me, and ofc for the Bible tells us not to harm ourselves. I don't know how much longer I can fight the good fight, I literally feel like I'm at the end of the rope. the guy that helps me said I just have to keep struggling on and it'll be okay 1 day but I just don't feel like I can go on much longer. I pray constantly amd even try to do good deeds like give out tracks and talk to people a out Jesus to see if that will help but I'm not seeing any results. I'm stuck in constant limbo saying I wont do it and I will. I literally feel like I'm in Hell right now because I'm never happy, after taking so much drugs for years nothing brings me happiness anymore.
Some advice would be great from anyone out there aggggghhhhhh.

 

[wayfaring man]

I feel for you brother.

Many tears ago I went through some similar times, not as intense, but along the same lines.

I now am, relatively free of those burdens.

Prayer and fasting have helped much...some have conditions which kinda make that a unlikely option...but if one can learn that discipline, it comes across as a powerful freeing force.

Charity also 'never fails', but it needs to be the right kind...not done for selfish reasons.

Not that it's wrong to hope in the promise that if we 'give it will be given us', according to our ability and willingness, and God's goodness and mercy.

Your testimony has great potential to be a very powerful one, showing how loving and longsuffering The Lord is towards us - even when we are foolish and slow to respond to His calling.

But it sounds like all this has already taken quite a toll - so that the only sensible thing to do now is surrender all, on a daily basis, to the fullest extent possible.

Have you asked your Heavenly Father for the Gift of The Holy Spirit ?

Be careful not to conclude that all claims of the Holy Spirit are without distortion...many most likely are...

Go more by the fruit, than the 'gifts'.

For it is safer to have the fruit without the gifts, than to have the gifts without the fruit.

Though we are capable of receiving both, there apparently are many who are unknowingly deceived by the wrong emphasis.

Read Luke 11

Don't conclude you already have what you need. Confess to God your hope, not your knowledge.

With The Spirit's Help we can be quick to dismiss temptations. And that is key; for a quickly dismissed temptation has no power to impede us in our drawing closer to God.

But first this understanding must be strengthend and settled within us - that all this world has to offer is nothing in comparison to what The Lord is offering us.

Once The Spirit helps to make this clear unto us, a new world / kingdom is established within us.

This is becoming my experience, after many years of struggle, yet holding on to the hope, that The Lord will bring me to the point where I can surrender to Him, and learn from within His Capture.

When we're out on our own we're mostly 'grabbing at straws', being helped / healed only a little here and a little there...because there are too many middlemen muddying the waters which are meant to cleanse our consciences of all that defiles and debases us.

You are a child of The Most High !

Through Christ's Atonement, you can come before God's Throne to receive mercy and grace sufficient for all your needs.

The Holy Spirit teaches this - and Scripture also confirms that it is true.

One on one, a direct connection. No need for animal sacrifice. No need for a clergyman's rituals. Christ has made The Way - all who seek in light of His Sacrifice do find the Light they so desperately need to be delivered from the power of darkness, and the doom of being outside of God's Favor.

-------------------------------

...ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light:
Which in time past were not a people, but are now the people of God: which had not obtained mercy, but now have obtained mercy.
Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul;
Having your conversation honest among the Gentiles: that, whereas they speak against you as evildoers, they may by your good works, which they shall behold, glorify God in the day of visitation.
Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake: whether it be to the king, as supreme;
Or unto governors, as unto them that are sent by him for the punishment of evildoers, and for the praise of them that do well.
For so is the will of God, that with well doing ye may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men:
As free, and not using your liberty for a cloke of maliciousness, but as the servants of God. <---> 1st Peter 2:9-16

Peace, Love & Joy in Yeshua Messias. Amen.

 

[Winken]

If you have not already done so, read these scriptures:

John 14:6, John 3:16-17, John 5:24. Pray after each one.

Now read and confess Romans 10:8-13. Accept / Believe Romans 8:1, Ephesians 2:8-9.

Choose times each day to pray. Stay faithful to those times.

Our prayer is that the JOY of the Lord will surround you, enclosing you in eternal peace.

 

[KnowHisJoy77]

God is faithful and He has a plan for your life. Indeed. You are still alive and breathing "against all odds".
To live with a mental illness is not easy at all. Many of us know that by experiencing it ourselves. And many people with mental illness try to medicate themselves with alcohol/drugs/etc. GOD knows our issues. HE KNOWS what is illness and what is enemy oppression and possession. Nothing catches Him by surprise. He is Sovereign. He is the One who determine our days in this earth. His Word says: "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." He is the Giver of eternal life. His Word says in Psalm 90:12 "So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom." Ask HIM to teach you that! He is our Father and we must trust Him. Be dependent upon Him. He is the SOURCE of all good things. He is the Father of lights.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, with whom there is no change or shifting shadow. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we would be a kind of firstfruits of His creation." James 1:17-18

He is light and He is the Creator who made the great lights, the sun and the moon and all there are in the universe and beyond. HE NEVER CHANGES..."It is He who reveals the profound and hidden things; He knows what is in the darkness, And the light dwells with Him."

You are safe and can trust HIM. You need to hold His hand and take time at each new day to know Him more, knowing Him more and more by reading and meditating His Word. pen your heart to Him and ask Him to teach you all He wants you to know. To guide you step by step.

You must feed yourself a diet of daily WORD of LIFE and light to your soul and spirit, and not death. Eat and eat the Word of God to feed your spirit and make it strong in the Lord. Renew your mind and you will learn the mind and thoughts of God, by reading His Word with the help of the Holy Spirit, The Helper and Counselor. Remember that in this world us all (Christians or not) will have tribulations. Peace in Christ is the only true peace, in him alone believers have it. Through him we have peace with God, and so in him we have peace in our own minds. We ought to be encouraged, because Christ has overcome the world before us.

“Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly.” Spiritual food gives spiritual strength.

God bless and guide you all the days of your life and give you peace Michael.

 

[Tim Main]

God bless you Micheal Ashe I will be praying that Christ would strengthen you.I was brought up I a Christian home and went to church as far I was concerned it was chewing up my Sunday.I spent years in the world taking drugs and alcohol etc trying to satisfy only to find it didn't till one day in a state of depression and no will to live anymore I knelt down in my shed and asked Christ to take my life if he wanted it and said that I would serve him all my life and I meant it. I was expecting some sort of liberating experience but not the case months following I just got more desperate crying out to him trying to get an answer. I red my bible and listened to sermons but still didn't really help.My girlfriend of 7 years thought I was losing the plot especially when she found out I was getting baptized. I asked my father to baptize me according to Acts 2:38 with promise of the Hold Spirit and again I was waiting for something miraculous to happen.I started going to church and was prayed for a few times but still didn't feel free.After a year or so I realized the bible was either all true or all false and if Christ really did died on the cross for ME and by his blood cleanse ME from all sin then I was going to have to believe it or leave it alone. I decided I wasn't going back and that I believed every word. 2 years on and married to my girlfriend who I thought was going to leave.Christ has proven himself to me through answered prayer and by his presence especially when in desperation. He'll help you through things you didn't think you could do.I still get depressed and down often and find nothing really makes me happy I find the only thing to shake it is to think on Christ and his love for me and that i'm forgiven and that he has good things in store for us. As for the evil voice in your mind according to 2 Corinthians 10:5 (5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ bring every thought in to obedience to Christ and Christ is the word (John 1) if your thoughts tell you your not saved then its a lie because the bible says otherwise so bin the thought just like every person who believes in the blood of Christ has to do. The longer the thoughts linger the more damage they do. We are called to walk by faith.Faith denies our own thoughts and feelings and trusts in Christ.We have a brother in our congregation that's been in and out of church for years and after years of meth and alcohol abuse which saw his wife leave and kids taken into custody he came back to Christ and through prayer and trust in God iv seen his wife and kids restored which otherwise didn't look possible. Look to Christ he loves you more than you could know and are precious in his sight.Look for him in your life he will be there because he said he would be. God bless

 

[Strachan]

Brother,

I will share what has recently helped someone close to me in verily similar situation. You need to truly know who you are, and the best way to know that is to start by declaring it simply, and out loud when you can:

"I am a beloved son of the Most High God, bought and paid for by the precious blood of Jesus Christ."

There is much more that you can declare, but start with that - it is pretty simple. Repeat it as often as you feel the need to build yourself up in Christ. Then start adding a little more each day such as: "I declare Jesus Christ is Lord!" The voices will gradually be lessened, and you will be strengthened. It is not instant, but a struggle - see Eph. 6

Be blessed.

 

[orangeness365]

hearing voices is not normal. I think you should go to the doctor and see if it is a part of your mild dementia or see if you are developing schizophrenia. Part of schizophrenia is hearing voices. For most people with schizophrenia there are meds that can be prescribed by a psychiatrist that will make the voices go away for most people with schizophrenia if the meds are at a high enough dose.