Just discovered I'm bipolar.

[JohnGault]

For two years I have been going up and down like crazy. I made a fortune, lost it, and went into tremendous debt. Lied about everything to my loved ones all along the way. I thought that I could somehow "magically" fix what I had screwed up. Hurt my family and friends immensely. Planned a suicide. Even wrote three rough drafts of the note.

I have accepted what I've done and I am working to straighten myself out with treatment. At least for the moment, I have forgiven myself for everything and am trying to turn it around. There are times that I'm angry with myself, but those times are the exception rather than the rule.

There are a lot of people angry with me for things I did, and I don't blame them at all.

I DO NOT expect them to "understand" me or what I'm going through. I hope and pray that they can forgive me, and I hope and pray that they can find the patience to work with me. But I DO NOT expect them to feel bad for me, I DO NOT expect them to feel sorry for me, and I DO expect them to be angry and distrustful of me. I have EARNED distrust and anger. I ask and pray for them to forgive and to be patient, but I WILL NOT deny their right to be angry at me.

I don't need pity. I don't need "understanding." I need to STRAIGHTEN THINGS OUT AS BEST AS GOD GIVES ME THE ABILITY AND OPPORTUNITY TO DO SO!

If others are patient and helpful to me, then I appreciate it more than anyone can ever know. Thank the Lord for their help and love!

If they are angry and hurt and impatient, then it is up to ME to be understanding of THEM. I hurt THEM, not the other way around.

Am I sick? Yes. Does my disorder cause me to act against my moral convictions? Absolutely. My actions have not been congruent with my inner convictinos.

BUT THAT DOES NOT EXCUSE MY IMMORAL BEHAVIOR. Maybe, just maybe, it mitigates my behavior a tiny bit. But the bottom line is that I acted immorally, and I must set things straight as best I can with God's help.

In Jesus' name I pray for forgiveness, and I pray God helps the victims of my actions get past the wrongs I've committed!

 

[wonderwaleye]

Dear JohnGault

Sounds like you got your feet on the ground with GOOD understanding.


The best way to combat this is to be patient and make sure you get the right meds. Sometimes it can take awhile.


Mental illness has a stigma attached to it even though it's wrong. I believe we need to get this out of the closet and let folks know we suffer from mental illness and that it's being treated as you would any other type disease.


You MUST remember that these sins as a result of your sickness are all forgiven if we just ask for it. God knows how much control you really had as HE created you.

This is a very good time to commit your WHOLE life to GOD and GOD'S WILL. Then from that moment on seek GOD in all your decisions. God searches your heart and when HE finds your heart is ready HE will ANOINT you with HIS HOLY SPIRIT.

Then comes the INSTANT GIFTS!!!


You then will get a:

1. TEACHER

2. COMMUNICATOR

3. COMFORTER

4. GUIDE

So that you will be prepared to carry out the MISSION GOD GAVE TO JUST YOU!!!

You were placed on this earth to perform a GODLY MISSION. Some folks do and some don't ever get to it.


You may even be called to work with and help other bipolars as you have a real understanding of the disease.

JUST KEEP WALKING UP GOD'S PATH AND REMEMBER:

“ Believe “ in Greek is a verb and has three components which are: hearing, accepting, and then acting ( COMMITING ) upon that which you have accepted.
X Even though you can't see him, GOD is there!!! O ( click on the x and drag to the O ) ( then see who is with you ) steven