Sometimes life really sucks...but God always seems to have something that you can find joy in.
I have a great example. Yesterday was one of the worst days I have had in a while. Turkey bowl was a let down, but that was really surface level. I got in a fight with my parents...and it hurt. I went home after turkey bowl because my dad had called wondering where I was. You see, normally I go home and do some work for them and visit after church. They knew I had this, and I had told them at least a couple weeks in advance I would not be there. Needless to say, he was not happy. I came inside and he yelled at me...told me to get out of the house and really not to bother coming back. He felt used for money, and like the family was a low priority to me. I could see where he could get that, but if he listened to me, if he noticed that I come over usually twice a week, it would be easy to see otherwise...I mean, I am in college and I still go home twice a week. He proceeded to call me later and I told him not to worry, I wouldnt be bothering them for a while. He called a lot. He was drunk. It was hard. You see...in my near 19 years my dad has never even come close to being drunk. And I knew my 16 year old sister had to witness all of it. I could here my mom bawling in the background because she thought she had lost me and I would never talk to them again (or for a very long time), like she had done to her family. It was so hard...it hurt so bad.
But I knew I had to keep going. I could have just gone to my apartment and sulked, but I knew I couldnt. This was the first week I had Discipleship-groups with the middle school boys...the new youth pastor asked me to start helping with them and eventually lead them solo. God really used that for joy...because I know I have purpose and I can see it clearly right now...it is exhilirating. I get to do the lesson for next week...which is much sooner than I expected. And there was joy...still pain, but joy. Then I got to see Hailey (my wonderful and beautiful girlfriend). It was weird because while we saw each other quite a bit this week, everytime it was with a group of people. It was great just hanging out with her, she really makes me happy...just something weird about her that I cant really explain.
I declare a victory for God yesterday, because He took probably the worst day by far I have had since the summer and turned it around. While there was still pain, and there still is somewhat, I saw that there is so much more to everyday life. He gave me the strength to call my parents, strength that I know was outside my ability. He gave me the vision to see purpose when all I could think about was what had happened earlier in the day..and the peace to put the days events aside and focus on the task at hand. He does so many awesome things everyday...I wish it didnt take something like this to make me see that...and I pray that I remember that day to day.
I have a great example. Yesterday was one of the worst days I have had in a while. Turkey bowl was a let down, but that was really surface level. I got in a fight with my parents...and it hurt. I went home after turkey bowl because my dad had called wondering where I was. You see, normally I go home and do some work for them and visit after church. They knew I had this, and I had told them at least a couple weeks in advance I would not be there. Needless to say, he was not happy. I came inside and he yelled at me...told me to get out of the house and really not to bother coming back. He felt used for money, and like the family was a low priority to me. I could see where he could get that, but if he listened to me, if he noticed that I come over usually twice a week, it would be easy to see otherwise...I mean, I am in college and I still go home twice a week. He proceeded to call me later and I told him not to worry, I wouldnt be bothering them for a while. He called a lot. He was drunk. It was hard. You see...in my near 19 years my dad has never even come close to being drunk. And I knew my 16 year old sister had to witness all of it. I could here my mom bawling in the background because she thought she had lost me and I would never talk to them again (or for a very long time), like she had done to her family. It was so hard...it hurt so bad.
But I knew I had to keep going. I could have just gone to my apartment and sulked, but I knew I couldnt. This was the first week I had Discipleship-groups with the middle school boys...the new youth pastor asked me to start helping with them and eventually lead them solo. God really used that for joy...because I know I have purpose and I can see it clearly right now...it is exhilirating. I get to do the lesson for next week...which is much sooner than I expected. And there was joy...still pain, but joy. Then I got to see Hailey (my wonderful and beautiful girlfriend). It was weird because while we saw each other quite a bit this week, everytime it was with a group of people. It was great just hanging out with her, she really makes me happy...just something weird about her that I cant really explain.
I declare a victory for God yesterday, because He took probably the worst day by far I have had since the summer and turned it around. While there was still pain, and there still is somewhat, I saw that there is so much more to everyday life. He gave me the strength to call my parents, strength that I know was outside my ability. He gave me the vision to see purpose when all I could think about was what had happened earlier in the day..and the peace to put the days events aside and focus on the task at hand. He does so many awesome things everyday...I wish it didnt take something like this to make me see that...and I pray that I remember that day to day.
