Job in Another City

[jamesrwright3]

I may be offered a job in another city, and I am having a difficult time deciding what to do.

I have been dating my signifncant other for approximately 5 months. We really do enjoy each other's company and things are going well. Her kids and I get along fine.

There is a high likelyhood that I will be offered a job in Chicago; I currently reside in Pittsburgh. It is doing something that I want to do, sales. I have not been able to find a job in sales in Pittsburgh...

What is your take on it? Would you stay in Pittsburgh? There is always the chance things could not work out with us, and I may end up regretting not going...I am really confused...

 

[LadyBird]

I once read this:

What would you do if you were not dating your significant other? Don't give up your dreams and the opportunities that come your way because you have an S.O.

Of course it is a personal decision. I don't think I would leave my boyfriend behind and I don't necesarily think it's the only right thing to do...do what's right for you and what feels right. Pray about it and ask God for guidence and wisdom. Could you see yourself marrying this woman? Will another opportunity for a job in another city every arise againg for you?

 

[jamesrwright3]

We have talked about getting married. Quite honestly, things are going very well. If I stay in the area, I may end up marrying her.

I just hate to pass up an opportunity, but I really do care about her. I think that she would be utterly devestated for me to even consider an offer. Am I being selfish?

Like I said,I have tried to get a job in sales in the local PGH area, but I have not been able to do so. I am currently employed, just in a job that is not fulfilling.
I am just confused about what to do...

 

[John the Engineer]

Which is going to be more fulfilling in the end? Being with this girl or having that job? I know a couple that broke up because she wanted to be a big time lawyer and took a position in England while he stayed here in Los Angeles, so their career paths just didn't allow for a relationship. Mutually they were happy because they were both following their dreams.

If you are serious about this girl, you need to pray that the Lord would give you opportunities here, or give you what you need where you are. Which do you see more of a future for? And pray about it, that the Lord would guide you to where there is a future for you and his plans.

 

[jamesrwright3]

To be very honest,I think that a sales career may be more fulfilling at this time. It is something that I have been trying to get into for a while. and this may be a prime opportunity for myself....I have tried to get a job in Pittsburgh, but have not had an opportunity like this.

I am just afraid of hurting her..this would kind of blindside her. Things have been going well for us...if there were no kids involved, this would be a lot easier...She has two children which I have gotten to know really well. I feel like I am stuck in this situation with no way out

 

[E-beth]

Yeah, it is a pretty sticky situation, but there is a right answer somewhere.

I married my fiance MONTHS before we planned to get married because he took a job 500 miles from home--without consulting me before he took it. Now we are married, stuck 500 miles away from home, and sometimes I resent being here when I was not consulted in the first place. But I agreed to marry him and come here, so I am just as responsible.

My advice is to tell her about everything...your unhappiness in your job, your opportunity, your love for her and the kids.

She might not like your decision to go, and she has teh choice to come along or not technically. But if she loves you she will want you to try to make a happy life.

And just because you would be in Chicago doesn't necessarily mean that you would have to break it off. LDRs are tough, but sometimes they have a way of putting your relationship into perspective.

Praying for ya!

 

[jamesrwright3]

I have thought about marrying her and taking her and the kids with me I am just not sure how the children's father would react to that. She doesn't really have a choice on whether or not she moves. Although the children reside with her, they have joint custody. She just can't pick up and leave...

I just wish I knew God's plan..it would make things easier I am not sure if he wants me to stay here with her or go off to Chicago. I am not sure if he wants me to leave pursue my career or stay here and be with her...