Jaded: Help!

[Kizza]

I've been a volunteer chaplain for about three years. During that time, I've loved my work and it has deeply enriched my relationship with Jesus.

Lately, however, I'm finding that a lot of things about the ministry are getting to me. Every time a decision needs to be made, I am overlooked and thought of as inferior by my peers because I'm not a full-time, paid employee.

One of my colleagues has gone so far as to accuse me of talking too much about Jesus, that I will find any way I can to bring Jesus into the conversation, even when people refuse to hear the gospel. Personally, I feel it's just the opposite; I don't reflect Jesus enough in what I say and do.

I am now required to take on new volunteers and train them to be chaplains, all the while unpaid. I agree to meet with my superiors regarding a wage, but there's a new excuse every time for why they don't show up.

One of these new volunteers talks about nothing but himself, and questions my authority at the most inappropriate times, even when I'm actively ministering to somebody. I have reported this more than once and still, my superiors have kept him on the team.

The fact that I'm unpaid and I do a lot of night-shifts strains my relationship with my fiancee and her young daughter. My fiancee wants me to get a regular, everyday daytime job. (Both she and her daughter are Christians.) However, I'm not qualified to do anything else.

I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place, damned if I do and damned if I don't.

Any prayer and/or advice you can spare is deeply appreciated.

 

[GigageiTsula]

I will pray for you as you walk this path.

 

[handmaiden97]

God has challenged me a great deal in the areas of leadership, servant hood and overlooking offenses. You may not like what I have to say but this is the advice I have to offer.

"Lately, however, I'm finding that a lot of things about the ministry are getting to me. Every time a decision needs to be made, I am overlooked and thought of as inferior by my peers because I'm not a full-time, paid employee."

In the past 7 years I have served as a full time volunteer in a missions sending ministry. I have seen people go through stages of dissatisfaction and frustration. It is normal and in most cases it shall pass.

As far as being left out in descions that is a real frustration. I have been in a leadership position when leaders over me made descions that greatly affected the department I was over, I was frustrated and hurt. I tried to adress the issue but did not feel heard ont he matter. God reminded me of two ideas. #1 I need to follow Christs example and sacrifiacially serve. I heard a quote that I still struggle to wrap my brain around as well as struggle to put into practice. "You know you are trully a servant when people treat you like a slave and you dont get offended."
#2 God place all leaders in their place (Romans 14) It is up to Him to defend my leadership role not mine to hold onto. (like David dealt with Absoloms rebellion) So if you are being left out of the descions..ask your leaders why...respectfully share your opinins and then submit to your leaders desisions

One of my colleagues has gone so far as to accuse me of talking too much about Jesus, that I will find any way I can to bring Jesus into the conversation, even when people refuse to hear the gospel. Personally, I feel it's just the opposite; I don't reflect Jesus enough in what I say and do.

Are you working in a christian ministry? It is sad to hear that your colleague feels you talk to much about the Lord. If you are in a non christian work enviroment then be submissive to your employees in how you share the gospel, but still take every opportunity to share the love of Christ with those God brings to you. For me I hesitate to say anything about the Lord if Im not living it. I hope my actions will always speak louder than my words

I am now required to take on new volunteers and train them to be chaplains, all the while unpaid. (Jesus was unpaid! If you dont like it leave. Make the choice am I here to serve God or mammon. If you are there to serve the Lord He will bless it. And if He wants you to get paid for the job He is able to do that.!!! I agree to meet with my superiors regarding a wage, but there's a new excuse every time for why they don't show up.

One of these new volunteers talks about nothing but himself, and questions my authority at the most inappropriate times, even when I'm actively ministering to somebody. I have reported this more than once and still, my superiors have kept him on the team.

I had a gal serving under me that did that often. It was hard but God challenged me to humble myself and ask her if she had offense against me and appologize for those things. Our relationship is now on solid enought ground that she will recieve from me.

So first thing find out if the volunteer is offended with you? set things right. If there is not offense than share with him your offense. "It bothers me when...." Get things right there if he does not respond than involve your leaders ...rember first the person than take one other individual, than a few others.

Secondly ask your leaders why they keep this person on the team. Perhaps they have a very good reason.

The fact that I'm unpaid and I do a lot of night-shifts strains my relationship with my fiancee and her young daughter. My fiancee wants me to get a regular, everyday daytime job. (Both she and her daughter are Christians.) However, I'm not qualified to do anything else.

Well if you were to marry your fiance providing for her and her daughter would be the right thing to do. How do you pay bills if you are a volunteer. I know how I do, God provides for me. It is hard and scarry at times...I can understand your fiancees wishes....The thing is what does God want you to do?. If He wants you to stay as a chaplain, than do it with out complaint and He will make a a way for you. As far as not being qualifed to do anything else just be sure that is not an excuse. I have know to many people who hesitate to go out and get a traditional job cause they loose the recognition and freedom of bieing in ministry. You are qualified to do other jobs...(I mean anybody can flip burgers, do manual labor or be a greater at wally-world) Im sure in your time with the job you have learned marketable skills.

I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place, damned if I do and damned if I don't.

Best advice I can offer is seek God , wait on Him to speak to you, and follow the principals found in the Bible to conduct yourslef and make your descions

Any prayer and/or advice you can spare is deeply appreciated.[/quote]

 

[RuahFlames]

What you described sums up most common situations volunteer ministers find them selves in. By the fact you are volunteering means that you really have a call deep in your hear. You however seem to expect people to honor that, and thats good but we do not serve people and often they can nos see what is in our heart. God is taking you through this kind of training and when you are ready for something else, he will move you on.

Its good to set out terms of voluntary service before start of engagement and for you to evaluate those against family situation. always remember that your basic mission here is the family and you may need to make tough decisions sooner and limit your voluntary work to strick a fair family life balance

 

[Inhocsigno]

Kizza I can sympathize, in fact I'd suspect that the vast majority of us involved in mission and ministry work have been in your shoes before! A lot of decisions have to be made, and invariably those with a certain kind of experience and a certain position will be called to opine first. Hang in there! As you persist, your efforts will bear fruit!

 

[Kizza]

Thanks all. It has come to a point where I had to choose between voluntary work or family. I chose family. In the meantime, I need prayer for a job!

Thanks again.

K