Its my FAULT Bubba Im Sorry

[Broken Hearted]

Well its just about here. Jan. 3 is the day I lost you. And its still like the same nightmare. I remember it like a horror movie. Jan.1 I got the call from her saying you were gonna do it. I got a hold of you and you were so upset. You were on your way to here to my house. We talked for a while about it you said you were hurt but you would be alright. You started to drink I told you not to much but you said you just needed to so you could just deal with it. Your friends took you out to eat and they promised to take care of you. So I said alright I loved you and we hugged and you left. You stayed there over night. Jan.2 early morning you came back here after you sobered up. You came into my room flopped down on the bed as usual to wake me up and you broke the bed. We laughed about it and we talked about alot of things just laying there. And you promised me you were gonna be ok and that you loved me and your son to much. Then you got up and went to the living room and took another nap as usual. When you woke up we talked some more. You had it all planned out to where it was going to be ok. You even had a friend moving in to help you out with everything. So later that afternoon you said you had to leave and go get stuff at your house ready. So we talked just a few more mins. And you gave me the biggest hug and kiss on my check and we told each other that we loved each other and I made you promise me one more time that you were alright that everything was ok and you said yes. And I said ok that I would talk to you in the morning. She brought you your son so you could spend some time with him. Jan. 3 you spent time with him and she came to get him before church. She left there and she called me and told me to call you. I didnt at the moment and I should have its all my fault. Its all my FAULT. I got the call a hour later your gone. You shot yourself in the HEART. Ill never forget the sight. Ill never forgive myself. Its my fault. Im sorry for it all. I MISS YOU SO MUCH AND I LOVE YOU<3

 

[Singermom]

I know these are going to seem like empty words, but IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.

It took me years to get over my baby brother's suicide; my husband and I totally blamed ourselves, because we had moved out of town and weren't as available to him. In 1994 He went to visit my older brother down south and, one day while the family was out, he went into my niece's bedroom and shot himself in the head.

We were FILLED with "what if"s: what if we hadn't moved? What if we offered to let him stay with US? What if...what if...

According to your post, you did everything you could...and then some.

Please...PLEASE...stop blaming yourself. I know I wasted far too much time blaming myself. The only person to blame is the person responsible for his own actions.

I'll be praying for you.

 

[NoelAsa]

It is not your fault! You can not control what someone else is going to do. I am so sorry for your pain. Praying for you!

 

[Perhaps Today]

PLEASE don't blame yourself for what happened here. You did what you could to keep this from happening. I will be praying for you my friend. If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me. May The Lord comfort you and give you peace about this.

 

[power2theweak]

(((Broken Hearted)))

 

[Broken Hearted]

Thank yall. I know in my heart it aint my fault. But in my mind sometimes I still feel guilty. Me and him was always protecting each other from everything if that makes sense. And sometimes I feel I let him down on this. I just really miss him. Its like half of me is gone with out him. We were so close.

 

[Singermom]

I hear you. It's like I said with my brother. I actually raised him more than my parents did (and my parents acknowledge that). His first steps, first words, first written note...all because of me. My husband helped him get his driver's license, first car, first computer. He had an open invitation to our apartment, and we lived close enough that, when he couldn't drive (a couple of his suicide attempts - and there were a lot - involved a car, and he lost his license) he could bicycle over.

Then we moved to another town. We weren't "there" anymore. The best he could do was phone.

We blamed ourselves for years and years. I'll admit that there is still a tiny "niggle", even after all these years, but I've learned to put it behind me with God's help.

Please know that you are NOT alone, that it is NOT your fault (I know you said that you know, but I've been where you are) and just embrace all of the wonderful memories of him. I PROMISE you that someday you will be able to think of him and smile.

Oh, also...it's OK to miss him. I still miss my baby brother.

 

[Criada]

(((((((((((((Broken Hearted))))))))))))))))
He knew you loved him, sweetie. If things got too much, that wasn't your fault - you can't watch someone 24/7.
Praying for peace of mind, sweetie - and for comfort for you, especially today.

 

[Hisbygrace]

(((broken hearted)))

You are in my prayers for peace and comfort. As many have said before me what happened is not your fault you did do everything that you could have and more

 

[Nilla]

HUGS I know those feelings of guilt first hand.

I know you know it in your heart that it's not your fault and that it's not easy to tell your head the same thing.

HUGS!!!