It's a trust thing

[hisbloodformysins]

Those of us with OCD really deal with fear... and we feel we have to control our fate.... we think our outcomes or the outcome of our life relies heavily on our actions....

But to overcome this we must understand that God is ALWAYS with us... and that he is bigger then our actions, he bigger then our mistakes, he is bigger then our failures and our shortcomings... he is bigger then natural law.. he made the law, and he can change it and the good news is that he's on our side and is very able and willing to take care of what concerns us today.

It's really a trust thing... and a control thing... we try to control everything while feeling like we have no control over anything... our choices mean life and death to us literally, and we act as if the slightest decision we makes has our life hanging in the balance.....

He is bigger then everything and very able to hold us in his hands today... we can let go.. we will be safe.

Let him be your savior today.

Food for thought

Amen.

HB

 

[keryakos]

all of that is true but you have also described most teenagers ...maybe we are teens who haven't grown up ...HAHA ..

Do you find that when you are in most control that it sastifys a longing ...i find that when im in most control i feel at times a deep sense of underlying sadness ..

 

[hisbloodformysins]

I don't know what you mean, maybe my experience with OCD is different from everybodies.

HB

 

[keryakos]

No I doubt it is different ..Let me rephrase the question ...You say that its a control thing as well ..Well when you FEEL that you are in control do you feel satisfied or do you feel like something is still missing ..? Does the sense of control give you relief from the anxiety or is it still there ?

 

[Jayangel81]

all of that is true but you have also described most teenagers ...maybe we are teens who haven't grown up ...HAHA ..

more like babes in Christ(1 Peter 2:2)

 

[keryakos]

HAHA JAY true so true

 

[hisbloodformysins]

No I doubt it is different ..Let me rephrase the question ...You say that its a control thing as well ..Well when you FEEL that you are in control do you feel satisfied or do you feel like something is still missing ..? Does the sense of control give you relief from the anxiety or is it still there ?

I'm sorry... I think I read your response too quickly and misread it.

Umm, to answer this question, it really depends where i'm at in my bipolar cycle LOL... because I got diagnosed with bipolar as well.

Here's how it is/has been for me.

When I feel good, and am motivated and energetic like I am today... all things are clear....

My mood cycles effect the OCD... but I used to always think that my behavior and how well I obeyed these urges.. or what I used to consider God... defined how good I was doing.... then when i'd wake up one day and feel extremely irritable or depressed and it would be a fight to "be perfect" and do all the OCD things that I usually try to do to get rid of the anxiety... which would make me feel worse about myself and then I'd struggle with feelings of condemnation and feel like I was going to die and go to hell that day or some time soon.... and soon as I slowly climbed my way back in my moods and started doing everying perfectly I'd feel accomplished..... and on top of the world... little did I know that my mood swings had little to do with how well I performed.

To answer your question some more because I don't think I really answered it fully...

I used to be obsessive compulsive in doing repetitive things... however now i'm more obsessive avoidant and well, sometimes it's not really an issue at all. The lord set me free from perfectionism with scriptural truth... to an extent.

I just had a baby (as you can see ) and I have been off meds for well, over two years now and the OCD anxiety and urges and mood swings are in full swing right now.

To answer your question now completely... yes, I USED to feel that way. But not anymore. I've grown wiser about my fears... it hasn't been this confusing for a while. I know medication will take care of the most and i'm starting to rely on God's word and truth again that has always served to set me free.

How about you?

HB

 

[keryakos]

Well im at the opposite end of the spectrum to be honest ..i am in a very dark place right now in fact im so low that i could sit on a clover and swing my lefts off the side of it ..
and that is both funny but serious at he same time ..im not getting the treatment i need that is due to a lack of money living in a rural area of the USA and not qualifing for assistance ,,,and too i have had real issues with meds i nearly died when i was 14 because i had a serious reaction to a med i was given for spasims wich my doctor thought were caused by anxiety ... that is the closes i have come to dying in my life
well except for eating cafeteria food at school HAHA ...But seriously i dont have the strenght to go on no one really knows no human really knows how badly im suffering ..it has taken over my entire life .

 

[hisbloodformysins]

Well im at the opposite end of the spectrum to be honest ..i am in a very dark place right now in fact im so low that i could sit on a clover and swing my lefts off the side of it ..
and that is both funny but serious at he same time ..im not getting the treatment i need that is due to a lack of money living in a rural area of the USA and not qualifing for assistance ,,,and too i have had real issues with meds i nearly died when i was 14 because i had a serious reaction to a med i was given for spasims wich my doctor thought were caused by anxiety ... that is the closes i have come to dying in my life
well except for eating cafeteria food at school HAHA ...But seriously i dont have the strenght to go on no one really knows no human really knows how badly im suffering ..it has taken over my entire life .