It is finished.

[FLANDIDLYANDERS]

It is finished.


Thank God. I handed in the Decree Absolute this morning and paid my money. I have now divorced my ex-wife and have full custody of the kids.

For anyone who is struggling with a clingy ex and want to use it, here's an email I sent to her for closure...




Ex,

I am writing to you to inform you that on this day, 25th May 2007, I have had our marriage (solemnised on 25th July 1998 at The Register Office in the District of Portsmouth) dissolved absolutely.

We are Divorced and we are no longer legally or emotionally obligated towards one another. In regards to one another, our sole commonality is the interests of our children and their well being, in recognising one another’s rights and responsibilities as their parent - such as their contact time with you as their mother.

Communication regarding contact times with our children will, of course, continue (preferably by Email/Text) and I, as our children’s primary carer, will continue to share all information and appointments regarding the children from school and other relevant agencies with you. Please refrain from any communication with me that deviates from the concerns of our children.

In regards to one another, our only interest should be the ongoing well being and growth of our children. All other considerations are private as befitting two divorced individuals.

Aaron

 

[hope4today]

I'm glad you have the closure you have been seeking FL

I pray that you and your family will continue to grow in Christ and that he will be your strength, source and grace as you raise your precious children.

Your future is ahead of you all. Each day a new day in him.

Bless you heaps

Hope

 

[4EverBlessed]

Wonderful letter, Flan.

 

[FLANDIDLYANDERS]

Cheers ladies.

x

 

[tryingtobeagain]

I'm so glad for you Flan. You must be relieved to have it all over with. I pray you find new happiness in ways you never dreamed possible.

 

[FLANDIDLYANDERS]

I'm so glad for you Flan. You must be relieved to have it all over with. I pray you find new happiness in ways you never dreamed possible.

Fo shizzle my nizzle

 

[kanga22]

 

[FLANDIDLYANDERS]

The ex is nuts.

She texts me saying "the divorce is illegal". Erm, that will be the divorce that was settled by judges in a court of law that is illegal? Right, yeah. Nice.

I mean geez, is it too much for her to just leave it be, maybe even appreciate all I do with raising our 4 children ON MY OWN with NO MONEY FORM HER after having been told by her that she NEVER LOVED ME and having had to make ALL DECISIONS about the children, the divorce... oh my. When does it end?

I'll let you all know.

x

 

[hope4today]

The ex is nuts.

She texts me saying "the divorce is illegal". Erm, that will be the divorce that was settled by judges in a court of law that is illegal? Right, yeah. Nice.

I mean geez, is it too much for her to just leave it be, maybe even appreciate all I do with raising our 4 children ON MY OWN with NO MONEY FORM HER after having been told by her that she NEVER LOVED ME and having had to make ALL DECISIONS about the children, the divorce... oh my. When does it end?

I'll let you all know.

x

What was that we said about closure???


So, Are you ignoring her text? I mean, where can she possibly go with it, right?

 

[FLANDIDLYANDERS]

Exactly. She is just insecure, scared and very irrational.

 

[FLANDIDLYANDERS]

Latest text from her is a little disturbing... any input?

"you win they are all yours. i havent got a leg to stand on thanks. i hope youre happy now knowing youve hurt me"

 

[kanga22]

Seems to me that you have it all figured out Flan.

But, if you need an extra lift now and then, maybe you should put all your court documents out where you can look at them and touch them. It could serve as just the reminder you need that you are legally very secure.

The only thing your ex has on you is emotional warfare. She will blame you and try to make you feel bad to ease her own guilt. Don't fall for it. Go hug the kids when she tries to worry/upset you with her ideas. The children are with the better parent, and that is a great thing!

 

[tryingtobeagain]

I agree that she's trying to guilt you into something she dosen't understand and fears. Are there any church elders who can talk to her and give her some guidance?

 

[FLANDIDLYANDERS]

The Church friends meet her when she asks, she aint exactly forth-coming.

Time for coffee ---- whosoever wishes to join me?

 

[psalms66]

Congratulations Aaron. You are a sweety - saved my life a few times in the past months and were always a good ear to call my own.

I wish you peace and the greatest blessings for you and your beautiful children. You deserve it all and more.

Love ya...

 

[FLANDIDLYANDERS]

Cheers Summy.

 

[hope4today]

Hi Flan,

I was thinking about your situation today and wondering if things have settled down. Has she stopped sending the guilt trip texts?

Hope your doing OK and able to enjoy the freedom of having it all finalised.

Bless you heaps

Hope

 

[FLANDIDLYANDERS]

Communication is getting better, she has admitted to mental health issues that make her erratic/irrational, but I smell "victim" tendencies still.

I'm going to Mediation on Friday for initial consultation.

She admits she has "stuck her head in the sand" (sic) and so hasnt seen the kids or felt able to... for about 2 months... other than the pithy contact wed aranged (twice weekly). Well, glad she has the luxury to stick her head up her butt, I had to get on with it.



But hey, things will and are improving, now at least she realises why I dont like talking to her and choose not to.

 

[hope4today]

I'm glad you seem to be making some progress with her. What is the mediation for? Does she want to change current arrangements?

Praying for it to be worked out in a manner that allows you to move on in freedom.