Feel like i should keep this brief cuz i realize a couple of my threads are kinda long.
I dont know what it is, but for some reason ive always felt like my parents hide stuff from me and do things behind my back. like a few years ago mom took money out of my checking account for groceries without saying anything. but thats beside the point. i know i know "dude you need to get outta your parents house like pronto" hey believe me im givin it my best shot ok? jobs are scarce these days. that and im a tad lazy but again, beside the point.
Anyway, sometimes they come home or i come home and see them and they look either agitated, depressed or sick and i ask em "whats wrong" and theyre like "nuthin". and that really bugs me because i worry about em alot but it doesnt look like they even care.
Example; just tonight mom came home from church totally out of it cuz apparently they were givin out blood tests for some reason? idunno. so i follow her upstairs to her room to make sure she makes it there lol. she sits down on the bed and asks me to get her a coke. i said "did they say it was ok to drink coke?" and shes just like "Would you just get me a coke?" not screaming at me or anything but in that tone where theyre basically telling you to shut up cuz theyre annoyed like 'uuuugghhh just gooooo....' yknow. and i just stood there for a few seconds pondering how i should respond to her stupid attitude. should i scream at her yelling 'WHY WON'T YOU TELL ME ANYTHING?!?!?!' or just shrug off sarcastically mumbling 'fine by me. wont tell me anything, thats fine.' but i didnt do either so i just walked off, got her coke, said good night and that was it.
This is pretty frequent with these two. the last time dad went to a doctor was god knows how long ago and mom goes almost every other month to have something done like a blood test or a shot or something all the while leaving me to worry about their health cuz they never tell me anything!
Sorry but it looks like this may go a little longer...
cuz its not just their health i get worried about. its that i dont even think theyre always there for me anymore. theyre constantly telling me they are but i have a hard time believing it since the last talk with my mom had her telling me that feelings dont matter and that every time i have a problem or im sad or frustrated they just get angry. (the feelings part may have been exagerated because my aspergers sometimes translates peoples words into ridicule or spite against me.) so now im afraid to even talk to them about anything because i know theyre just gonna tell me to suck it up and get out of their faces because all they think im doing is just whining and complaining. now theyre not bad people in any way shape or form i will clarify that, its just that sometimes it feels like they dont want to listen to me at all or wanna help me with anything.
i know they love me. i know i love them. so why does it feel like im constantly being shut out?
I dont know what it is, but for some reason ive always felt like my parents hide stuff from me and do things behind my back. like a few years ago mom took money out of my checking account for groceries without saying anything. but thats beside the point. i know i know "dude you need to get outta your parents house like pronto" hey believe me im givin it my best shot ok? jobs are scarce these days. that and im a tad lazy but again, beside the point.
Anyway, sometimes they come home or i come home and see them and they look either agitated, depressed or sick and i ask em "whats wrong" and theyre like "nuthin". and that really bugs me because i worry about em alot but it doesnt look like they even care.
Example; just tonight mom came home from church totally out of it cuz apparently they were givin out blood tests for some reason? idunno. so i follow her upstairs to her room to make sure she makes it there lol. she sits down on the bed and asks me to get her a coke. i said "did they say it was ok to drink coke?" and shes just like "Would you just get me a coke?" not screaming at me or anything but in that tone where theyre basically telling you to shut up cuz theyre annoyed like 'uuuugghhh just gooooo....' yknow. and i just stood there for a few seconds pondering how i should respond to her stupid attitude. should i scream at her yelling 'WHY WON'T YOU TELL ME ANYTHING?!?!?!' or just shrug off sarcastically mumbling 'fine by me. wont tell me anything, thats fine.' but i didnt do either so i just walked off, got her coke, said good night and that was it.
This is pretty frequent with these two. the last time dad went to a doctor was god knows how long ago and mom goes almost every other month to have something done like a blood test or a shot or something all the while leaving me to worry about their health cuz they never tell me anything!
Sorry but it looks like this may go a little longer...
cuz its not just their health i get worried about. its that i dont even think theyre always there for me anymore. theyre constantly telling me they are but i have a hard time believing it since the last talk with my mom had her telling me that feelings dont matter and that every time i have a problem or im sad or frustrated they just get angry. (the feelings part may have been exagerated because my aspergers sometimes translates peoples words into ridicule or spite against me.) so now im afraid to even talk to them about anything because i know theyre just gonna tell me to suck it up and get out of their faces because all they think im doing is just whining and complaining. now theyre not bad people in any way shape or form i will clarify that, its just that sometimes it feels like they dont want to listen to me at all or wanna help me with anything.
i know they love me. i know i love them. so why does it feel like im constantly being shut out?
