Is Virginity Overrated?

vibrant · Jan 23, 2004

virginity isn't overrated.

i don't think it's even the actual non-act of refraining from sex, but all the virtues, morals, determination, focus, and perservance that went into maintaining purity based on faith for/in the future, when you're curious, tempted, and see it glorifed all around you. it's the stuff that goes into remaining a virgin that will never make it overrated.

fishstix · Jan 23, 2004

Here's another thought - almost equally as important as virginity is the attitude towards premarital sex. As in, someone who thinks premarital sex is ok probably wouldn't be a very good spouse for someone who values virginity, regardless of whether the former is a virgin or not. The reason being - what happens when the couple has children of their own and are raising them? Do the children get taught that premarital sex is fine or that it is wrong?

So, an even bigger problem than someone having messed up and had sex before marriage is the person also having the attitude that it's no big deal.

Bookman · Jan 23, 2004

believe it catch 22, i think it is overrated, an experienced partner would make for way more fun on your wedding night

Ah, that's just the difference between the Christian view of sex and the world's. To the non-Christian, sex is all about fun, about the physical. But to the Christian, sex is the culmination of two different people becoming one. You can only do that once. There's definitely a profound spiritual dimension to sex for Christians that is at the heart of the marriage relationship. To see it as just a fun physical act is to miss out on its real meaning, in my opinion.

TheHumanHighLightReel · Jan 23, 2004

Okay.

So far, ive had vague quotes from the bible that could be interepreted a million different ways, peoples opinions about how i 'loved' several girls but not anymore so ive given myself up a bit. And a few other bits and pieces that are the same as everyone elses bits and pieces. But so far, ive only heard things that youre taught to believe, am i the only that has my own opinion? like you guys, i could recite the sunday school answers just like that... but i dont, i question... i want you to question too. You all have 1 interpretation of the bible thats not really even backed properly. Sure books famous christians wrote... chances are you read them cause they have the same belief in the issue you do. I think virginity is overrated. Its not as important as it seems, why? Its a new experience every time, after you find someone you fall in love with, its like the first time again.

Not coming across as condemning here folks, i just havent heard anything original... anything moving. all this stuff i could learn in a half hr sunday school class.

I dont wanna hear what you been taught through christian schools, church, or youth group. I wanna hear your very own opinions. So think about it a couple days, imagine yourself having sex before you got married (for those of you married) and imagine what it would be like having sex now (for those of you not married) and get back to me... tell me if its still worth it, or not worth it. Would you go back if you could? why or why not? Pretend youre not even christians when answering this, that would help.

By the way guys, im just super curious about this, its been burning in my mind forever. If youre offended by anything, my apologies... im not saying any of you are wrong, kapische?

catch22 · Jan 23, 2004

okay, try this....Jesus told us to refrain from sexual immorality. And, he also said that if we loved him we would obey his commandments. So do you or don't you?

Oh yeah, and all of my friends who lost their virginity now regret it because they're not with the same people anymore and they regret not being able to have saved themselves for their future wives.

This whole thing just seems absurd to me. I mean you're posting this on a religious forum and then telling us to offer our opinions but leave out what we've learned from Christianity....am i missing something here? Chances are, if we're posting here, we're living as Christians (as best we can) and so it's pretty normal that there'd be a consensus that premarital sex is wrong.

TheHumanHighLightReel · Jan 23, 2004

catch22 said:
okay, try this....Jesus told us to refrain from sexual immorality. And, he also said that if we loved him we would obey his commandments. So do you or don't you?

ok... once again sunday school. where in the bible does it say sexual immorality before marriage is bad? if it doesnt say the before marriage part, then sex while youre married is bad too. because sex, is sexual, and anything sexual is immoral.

Im a christian that questions what i believe and why. Im yet to find anywhere in the bible that says sexual immorality means sex before marriage.

catch22 · Jan 23, 2004

first corinthians 7:2. Read, rinse your mind and repeat. Add 7:9 to that too. What the hey, just read all of 7.

And by the way, being a Christian isn't just abut what you say....it's about what you do. I'm not condeming you personally, just the things you do. Hate the sin but love the sinner.

TheHumanHighLightReel · Jan 23, 2004

catch22 said:
first corinthians 7:2. Read, rinse your mind and repeat. Add 7:9 to that too. Hec, just read all of 7.

this verse tells me, in essence that i shouldnt cheat on my wife. and the first verse tells me it is good for a man not to marry... why is that?

so what does verse 29 mean to you?

vibrant · Jan 23, 2004

TheHumanHighLightReel said:
Okay.

So far, ive had vague quotes from the bible that could be interepreted a million different ways, peoples opinions about how i 'loved' several girls but not anymore so ive given myself up a bit. And a few other bits and pieces that are the same as everyone elses bits and pieces. But so far, ive only heard things that youre taught to believe, am i the only that has my own opinion? like you guys, i could recite the sunday school answers just like that... but i dont, i question... i want you to question too. You all have 1 interpretation of the bible thats not really even backed properly. Sure books famous christians wrote... chances are you read them cause they have the same belief in the issue you do. I think virginity is overrated. Its not as important as it seems, why? Its a new experience every time, after you find someone you fall in love with, its like the first time again.

Not coming across as condemning here folks, i just havent heard anything original... anything moving. all this stuff i could learn in a half hr sunday school class.

I dont wanna hear what you been taught through christian schools, church, or youth group. I wanna hear your very own opinions. So think about it a couple days, imagine yourself having sex before you got married (for those of you married) and imagine what it would be like having sex now (for those of you not married) and get back to me... tell me if its still worth it, or not worth it. Would you go back if you could? why or why not? Pretend youre not even christians when answering this, that would help.

By the way guys, im just super curious about this, its been burning in my mind forever. If youre offended by anything, my apologies... im not saying any of you are wrong, kapische?

so...

you come into a christian site and tell us that our opinions are not our own, simply regurgitated sunday school lessons (because you don't agree with them). you tell us to think harder, put lustful thoughts in our minds and dwell on them for a few days. we should imagine ourselves in an impure situation, where we're having sex with someone we're merely in lust with, and pretend we're not even christians.

and pretend that we're not even christian. yeah, the last part simply takes the cake. pretend we're not christians indulging in a sinful act that goes against our beliefs and disregards the Word of God which commands us to be pure and and righteous and self-controlled... that will really "help us" to come to the right conclusion. your right conclusion.

but come on now, you're not trying to offend us, or tempt us astray, or condemn us (in fact, you tell us that you're "not coming across as condemning"). no, you're just curious. just asking a lil' innocent question.

please.

i won't even consider your suggestions. you asked a question, respect our answers.

Bookman · Jan 23, 2004

Not coming across as condemning here folks, i just havent heard anything original... anything moving

Well, frankly I think a lot of us could say the same thing about your opinion. It's just another attempt to justify what you've decided you want to do, no matter what the Bible says. We HAVE given you our experiences, our insight, our mistakes...but nothing we say will sway you. I just don't think the Christian view of sex within marriage is what you want to hear.

catch22 · Jan 23, 2004

7:2 "Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband"

Think about that. I mean seriously. God intended for sex to be inside of marriage. Because sex outside of marriage is sexual immorailty, God dictated that each man should have his own wife and each woman should have her own husband. Your're just trying to rationalize your own sins. Why not just suck it up and admit that you haven't been living a Godly life. God will forgive you for it, but it does you no good to cling to false ideas.

TheHumanHighLightReel · Jan 23, 2004

vibrant said:
so...

you come into a christian site and tell us that our opinions are not our own, simply regurgitated sunday school lessons (because you don't agree with them). you tell us to think harder, put lustful thoughts in our minds and dwell on them for a few days. we should imagine ourselves in an impure situation, where we're having sex with someone we're merely in lust with, and pretend we're not even christians.

and pretend that we're not even christian. yeah, the last part simply takes the cake. pretend we're not christians indulging in a sinful act that goes against our beliefs and disregards the Word of God which commands us to be pure and and righteous and self-controlled... that will really "help us" to come to the right conclusion. your right conclusion.

but come on now, you're not trying to offend us, or tempt us astray, or condemn us (in fact, you tell us that you're "not coming across as condemning"). no, you're just curious. just asking a lil' innocent question.

please.

i won't even consider your suggestions. you asked a question, respect our answers.

and the utmost respect for your answers i have. I am a christian, so i can be here. state my beliefs.

no, i didnt say, 'vividly imagine yourself having sex'. youre taking me way out of context. i said (this is embellished) imagine what situation you'd be in, how you'd feel, if you had. i dont recall telling you to stick impure thoughts in your mind.

TheHumanHighLightReel · Jan 23, 2004

catch22 said:
7:2 "Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband"

Think about that. I mean seriously. God intended for sex to be inside of marriage. Because sex outside of marriage is sexual immorailty, God dictated that each man should have his own wife and each woman should have her own husband. Your're just trying to rationalize your own sins. Why not just suck it up and admit that you haven't been living a Godly life. God will forgive you for it, but it does you no good to cling to false ideas.

i interpret that as sex outside of marriage, while youre married is immorral.

you cant be outside of marriage if you never were inside a marriage in the first place.

TheHumanHighLightReel · Jan 23, 2004

catch22 said:
7:2 "Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband"

Think about that. I mean seriously. God intended for sex to be inside of marriage. Because sex outside of marriage is sexual immorailty, God dictated that each man should have his own wife and each woman should have her own husband. Your're just trying to rationalize your own sins. Why not just suck it up and admit that you haven't been living a Godly life. God will forgive you for it, but it does you no good to cling to false ideas.

ill be the first to admit i havent been living a godly life. why do you think im questioning my beliefs? why do you think I need christ?

iambigdog · Jan 23, 2004

i agree with highlight reel, im not saying sex before marriage is right or wrong, but there is generally the same answers, and all of you get very offensive when asked to think about it from more than one perspective. yes the bible is true, but why is sexual immorality only allowed to be thought of as any sexual act outisde of wedlock, couldnt sexual immorality be different im not saying it is, just trying to get others to recognize there is a possibility it could be. please offer insight, not anger. i really want to know why tehres only one approach so many take to ideas that have countless ways of being understood.

vibrant · Jan 23, 2004

TheHumanHighLightReel said:
and the utmost respect for your answers i have. I am a christian, so i can be here. state my beliefs.

no, i didnt say, 'vividly imagine yourself having sex'. youre taking me way out of context. i said (this is embellished) imagine what situation you'd be in, how you'd feel, if you had. i dont recall telling you to stick impure thoughts in your mind.

"vividly imagine yourself having sex". you cannot put that in quotation marks, attributing it to me, because I DID NOT SAY THAT.

you don't "recall" telling us to "stick impure thoughts in [our] minds"? you're merely "embellishing"? i'm taking you out of context? let me refresh your memory with the following passage from your post, emphasis being mine:

So think about it a couple days, imagine yourself having sex before you got married (for those of you married) and imagine what it would be like having sex now (for those of you not married) and get back to me... tell me if its still worth it, or not worth it. Would you go back if you could? why or why not?

geez. recall it now?

and no, you don't have "the utmost respect for own answers".

first, you say they're NOT OUR OWN, simply the rhetoric we've internalized: "I dont wanna hear what you been taught through christian schools, church, or youth group. I wanna hear your very own opinions". then you tell us to think about it some more as if the thought we put into it already was insufficient, or deficient, in some way.

you don't even have a vague respect for them.

TheHumanHighLightReel · Jan 23, 2004

vibrant said:
i am not "embellishing" anything you said. you don't "recall" telling us to "stick impure thoughts in [our] minds"? you're merely "embellishing"? let me refresh your memory with the following passage from your post, emphasis being mine:

So think about it a couple days, imagine yourself having sex before you got married (for those of you married) and imagine what it would be like having sex now (for those of you not married) and get back to me... tell me if its still worth it, or not worth it. Would you go back if you could? why or why not?

Ok, read what i wrote again, follow the punctuation, and dont take every word literally

iambigdog · Jan 23, 2004

hey um vibrant, i think hes just trying to get you to step uot of your worldview for a second and really analyze whetehr or not its bad or not, not based on the typical answers but on careful reflection

vibrant · Jan 23, 2004

TheHumanHighLightReel said:
Ok, read what i wrote again, follow the punctuation, and dont take every word literally

really respecting me here... now, i haven't read it right!

don't take every word literally?
follow the punctuation?

well, low and behold, i am and i have and that is the conclusion i've reach.

TheHumanHighLightReel · Jan 23, 2004

girl, you need an insane chill pill. Relax, i never said any of you were wrong. I just wanted you to step into my shoes for a minute. Im doing the same for your arguments, i simply asked the same back from you. I also believe that i have stated that i agree with almost all of you at one point or another.

Is Virginity Overrated?

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