Is Virginity Overrated?

TheHumanHighLightReel · Jan 23, 2004

Hey,

I was thinkin, and there are a lot of posts and threads about virginity being oh, so important. Dont you think thats getting down to the nitty gritty and kinda blankets our eyes from whats most important?

Last time i checked, i was all about finding a girl i was compatible with, got along with, could have fun with, carried the same beliefs... someone i could talk to and spend my life together with one day... perhaps... (but thats sketchy right now, im only 20)

Sexual history shouldnt matter and doesnt matter to me. Whether you like it or not, i think sex hits all of us. Some just sooner than later, and how fair is it to judge someone on something like virginity? So in my opinion, I think virginity is in fact way over rated.

Your thoughts???

Mr.Cheese · Jan 23, 2004

These days it seems to be underrated. There is more to it than what you've done.
As much as we denigrate it to the physical act it's no wonder we don't understand the deeper effects.
If virginity were merely the question of "have you had sex or not" then it wouldn't be worth the trouble to preserve it for sure.

So the question is "What makes it important?" "What makes it virtuous?"

I think if we focused on those questions more than "how far is too far?" then we wouldn't be in the mess we're in.

As far as sexual histories, those people have their memories to punish them, so I don't need to be down on them. We all make mistakes.

TheHumanHighLightReel · Jan 23, 2004

Mr.Cheese said:
So the question is "What makes it important?" "What makes it virtuous?"

I think if we focused on those questions more than "how far is too far?" then we wouldn't be in the mess we're in.

As far as sexual histories, those people have their memories to punish them, so I don't need to be down on them. We all make mistakes.

Alright, I agree with you that we should be asking questions other than how far is too far, etc. So answer me, what makes it important and what makes it virtuous?

And the sexual histories thing, (ive been banned for this 3 times and all i want is an honest answer), i have had sex LOTS. I have yet to understand why people feel guilty. Ive never felt that way, i mean comon, theres a reason i go back for more. I have had tons of discussions with my friends on this one, some agree with me, some dont. Christian friends mind you. Perhaps somethings wrong with me?

Bookman · Jan 23, 2004

I agree with Mr. Cheese, but I'd say it another way: Not only is virginity under-rated, but sexual immorality outside of marriage is WAY over-rated.

Having one life partner whom you love with all your heart and with whom you have SOLEY shared the most intimate physical experience two people can have is THE way to go. I'm not sure it can be over-rated.

Newsboy1900 · Jan 23, 2004

well im almost 20 and its been hard but i havent did it and i feel from all the people i have met and see that it was way worth waitting

Mrs K 2004 · Jan 23, 2004

I most definatly agree that sex outside of marriage is WAY over rated... the consequences are horrible and too many to list!!

Besides; how special is it to wake up in the morning with your husband/wife and know that they are the ONLY person you have EVER shared that gift with? (I look forward to that day!)

TheHumanHighLightReel · Jan 23, 2004

Bookman said:
I agree with Mr. Cheese, but I'd say it another way: Not only is virginity under-rated, but sexual immorality outside of marriage is WAY over-rated.

Having one life partner whom you love with all your heart and with whom you have SOLEY shared the most intimate physical experience two people can have is THE way to go. I'm not sure it can be over-rated.

okay, i appreciate everything you guys are saying, but how many of you are giving advice on something you never done? This kind of personal, dont answer it if you dont want to, but how many of you have had sex before marriage?

Also, i dont believe 'sexual immorality' consists of premarital sex, within moderation, of course... meaning with people you feel that you love, whether its 1 or 5.

And im still waiting for answers to what makes virginity virtuous and important...

Newsboy1900 · Jan 23, 2004

seems to me your just tryen to justify yourself for not waitting but thats just me

well anyway
godbless
Sam

TheHumanHighLightReel · Jan 23, 2004

Im not trying to justify anything, like i said, i feel no guilt after anything i do of this nature. These have been my core beliefs since i was 13.

stray bullet · Jan 23, 2004

TheHumanHighLightReel said:
Hey,

I was thinkin, and there are a lot of posts and threads about virginity being oh, so important. Dont you think thats getting down to the nitty gritty and kinda blankets our eyes from whats most important?

Last time i checked, i was all about finding a girl i was compatible with, got along with, could have fun with, carried the same beliefs... someone i could talk to and spend my life together with one day... perhaps... (but thats sketchy right now, im only 20)

Sexual history shouldnt matter and doesnt matter to me. Whether you like it or not, i think sex hits all of us. Some just sooner than later, and how fair is it to judge someone on something like virginity? So in my opinion, I think virginity is in fact way over rated.

Your thoughts???

I'd prefer that she had at least used a condom....

blackwasp · Jan 23, 2004

If you feel no guilt from premarital sex despite what scripture teaches, you should really evaluate whether you have the Holy Spirit within.

TheHumanHighLightReel · Jan 23, 2004

stray bullet said:
I'd prefer that she had at least used a condom....

Fair enough... Id have to say im in the same boat as you.

TheHumanHighLightReel · Jan 23, 2004

blackwasp said:
If you feel no guilt from premarital sex despite what scripture teaches, you should really evaluate whether you have the Holy Spirit within.

Ok, its like this. I dont sleep with everything that moves. Or even some of the things that move. Ive only slept with less than a handful of people, people that i loved at the time. if you read up a little, you'll see that i believe that having sex with someone you love is good, thats what sex is for. I think saving it for marriage is something religious society came up with to prevent illegitimate children and disease. I havent read anything in the bible that tells me to wait for marriage, and ive prayed abuot my choices before committing to them. I wouldnt take back any of my experiences for the world.

zibbler · Jan 23, 2004

Hmmm... I'm not quite sure how to phrase this, but basically the bible says that when a couple get's married, the two become one flesh. How does this happen? Through sex. That's why God does not want sex outside of marriage.

Here are a few verses to ponder:

Mark 10
6"But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.'[1] 7'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,[2] 8and the two will become one flesh.'[3] So they are no longer two, but one. 9Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

1 Corinthians 6
15Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! 16Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh."[1] 17But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit.
18Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

Galatians 6
7Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature[1] will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.

So each time you have sex with someone, you give a part of yourself to that person and vice versa. So when you get married, you will have a hard time being one with your wife, because you have been one with many other people. Not to mention the high likelyhood of std's with multiple partners.

TCapp · Jan 23, 2004

"A great lover is someone who can satisfy one woman all her life long, and who can be satisfied by one woman all his life long. A great lover is not someone who goes from woman to woman. Any dog can do that."

(I don't know who said that.)

Bookman · Jan 23, 2004

If these have been your core beliefs since age 13, maybe you should consider where those core beliefs come from. When a person becomes a Christian, they lay aside their own "core beliefs" and take up the core beliefs of the creator.

As for asking how many have actually experienced what they're talking about, I'll have to say that I was a virgin when I married my wife and from our experience waiting was indeed the best. I will never know your experience, but I find it kind of sad for you that when you do fall in love with a woman you want to spend the rest of your life with, you can't share the exclusiveness of this most intimate experience two people can have. So right away, your relationship will be diminished. Of course there's restoration for those who want a fresh start in life through repentance, but it doesn't sound like that's what you want.

TheHumanHighLightReel · Jan 23, 2004

Okay, i see your point... actually its the best answer yet. And i agree with the whole giving a part of yourself, thats quite true, which is why ive only done it with girls i loved. Here is my issue. The bible is so open to interpretation that even "The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature[1] will reap destruction" Doesnt necessarily mean sex. For a 'whenever wherever' guy, ya, it applies. But i think thats mostly for drugs, alcohol, gambling etc. We often associate the word 'pleasure' with sex. Fair enough though.

That whole mark 10 thing though is interesting, ill have to look into that.

OH! Back in bible times, didnt like moses and them guys have like 10 wives and maybe even a few mistresses?

And when david killed that womans husband to sleep with her, they more focused on breaking the bond of marriage, not the actual sex. Its never really specific in the bible bout when its ok or not ok to do it, cause its always focusing on motives.

Think about it.

I am intrigued by your argument though...

TheHumanHighLightReel · Jan 23, 2004

Bookman said:
If these have been your core beliefs since age 13, maybe you should consider where those core beliefs come from. When a person becomes a Christian, they lay aside their own "core beliefs" and take up the core beliefs of the creator.

As for asking how many have actually experienced what they're talking about, I'll have to say that I was a virgin when I married my wife and from our experience waiting was indeed the best. I will never know your experience, but I find it kind of sad for you that when you do fall in love with a woman you want to spend the rest of your life with, you can't share the exclusiveness of this most intimate experience two people can have. So right away, your relationship will be diminished. Of course there's restoration for those who want a fresh start in life through repentance, but it doesn't sound like that's what you want.

Im only saying this once more, ok? I dont run around sleeping with every girl that will have me. Ive slept with 2 girls. That ive loved. Immensely. I thought it was right, and i was, our relationship prospered. Feeling that close to someone was the best ever. That is why i dont feel guilt. That is why i continue to hold true my beliefs.

Bookman · Jan 23, 2004

I'm only saying this once more okay?

It doesn't matter if it's two girls or twenty...you can never share this most intimate of experiences exclusively with the ONE who will be your life partner. That's apparently okay to you, but I think it's a loss for both you and your future wife.

Bookman · Jan 23, 2004

I didn't mean to come across harsh. I rereading what I wrote, it may sound like I'm coming down hard on you. I'm not. I wish you the best for your life. But I do get dismayed when people make choices that seem to me to be only in their short-term, not long-term best interests. And for this experience, there's really no turning back.

I do hope you have a happy life with one woman some day. It's the greatest!

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