Is Time Wasted on Relationships that Bear No Fruit?

Longsuffering is a fruit of the Spirit. Think how longsuffering God is with us. How many times does He forgive us?

Ps 86:15 But thou, O Lord, art a God full of compassion, and gracious, longsuffering, and plenteous in mercy and truth.

Ga 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,

Eph 4:2 With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love;

2Ti 4:2 Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.

2Pe 3:9 The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise to return, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to perish, so he is giving more time for everyone to repent.

2Pe 3:15 And remember, the Lord is waiting so that people have time to be saved. This is just as our beloved brother Paul wrote to you with the wisdom God gave him—

Stick with him...he needs you more than you know...love him more than anything...just like Jesus first loved you...love him unconditionally...just like Jesus would...don't let him go, falling into a pit...stay the path...if you let him go, Satan will keep whispering his lies into his ear and he will continue in apathy and self-loathing laziness and unmotivation. And thus, he will burn...but keep being salt in his life, be the light that the rest of the world cannot give. Do not let his blood be on your hands, continue to love him. I will pray for you and for him and all those who will continue to be around him.

"I'm sorry, I'd like to be your friend and hang out with you and develop a relationship with you and talk with you about the things of the Lord, but you are not making sufficent progress in your spiritual life, at least in the ways that I know of, so I cannot waste my valuable time on you."

Great conversation starter! I know that you are not planning on making such a speech, but that does seem to be what you are thinking.

How can I gently say this? You need to be on careful lookout for a fall becasue the pride is already here.

gsmithcat said:

I've been pondering how to pose this question without writing a novel. Here's my attempt.

It seems that we have finite time to do many things:
Relationship with God
Relationship with others
Ministry
Outreach
Video Games

I want to spend time with people and grow together in our relationships with God, but is it worth my time to hang out with someone who simply does not want to grow (when I could actually use this time with other people)?

There's a whole history here (that I'm skipping). I'll only say that for years, many people from my church have spent countless hours hanging out with this guy trying to be friend, study the Word, etc... Still, he shows a complete lack of motivation to deal with the issues in his life (although he does express discontent with these issues). It's like that "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink" type of thing.

Any thoughts or scripture?

Click to expand...

I do see where bliz is coming from, BUT, there also comes a time when this man has to take responsibility for himself.

I don't know whether that time has come yet, but you and the other Christians who have been spending serious time, prayer and effort to help him receive the gospel and respond to it are becoming increasingly exhausted, frustrated and disillusioned.

And maybe you are right that you are needed by someone else, someone who is more ready to respond.

There are some people who manipulate others and avoid taking responsibility for their lives, prefering to blame everyone else, and envy them.
Nothing is ever their fault, and they say you wouldn't understand because you have a perfect life etc.

I know how draining and disappointing it can be to try to help and feel manipulated and helpless, and then the guilt kicks in too if you back off.

It's a complicated thing, and you may need to carry on and you'll see a breakthrough soon, or maybe the man concerned needs something or someone different altogether at the moment. He might need professional help too.

Ask your pastor or someone in ministry who knows the man, get another perspective.
Find another person who shares your concern and care for him, and get together to really seek God's leading in the whole thing.

You don't mention prayer, but I've assumed up to this point it has been a major feature of everyone's involvement?

God bless, Susana

When Jesus preached he went from one place to the next .

He was seeking the lost , who would receive his word .

He also told his disciples to go out " into the harvest " so to speak .

When they were not received , Jesus told them to shake the dust off their feet and move on .

Beware of mixing human sentimentality with the love of God .

Yes , we are to be patient .

We are also to be wise .

If we are sowing seeds for the Lord , doesn't it make more sense to sow them , where the hearts are soft , to the hearing of his word ?!

When I asked the Lord , to whom shall I go to share what you have given me ?

He said , to the poor and the meek , the lowly , and the afflicted , the outcasts , the down trodden , and the broken hearted .

They won't be able to pay for my room and board , mind you ; but they're a whole lot more receptive to the things of the God.

This is what I have been shown .

It is better to go to the house of mourning, than to go to the house of feasting: for that is the end of all men; and the living will lay it to his heart.
Sorrow is better than laughter: for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better. The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning; but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth. It is better to hear the rebuke of the wise, than for a man to hear the song of fools. <-----> Ecclesiastes 7:2-5

The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, To preach the acceptable year of the Lord. <-----> Luke 4:18+19

Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled. <-----> Matthew 5:3-6

People generally favor the popular , the rich , the famous , the good looking , the smart , the talented , etc .

While the Lord's attention is towards those " not finding their life , in this world " . ( See Matthew 10:39 )

For thou wilt save the afflicted people; but wilt bring down high looks. <-----> Psalm 18:27

Personally , this is one of the main things that drew me to seek Jesus to begin with , and it's one of the things that I cherish most about him to this day !


Sincerely ,

wm

Your most welcome , my brother !

wm

Well, I don't think it's time wasted, because God knows you tried.. and I mean, you shouldn't do somehting because you feel sorry for someone.. but because either you really want to do good, or because the person needs the help...

gsmithcat said:

Yeah, there's definately been lots of prayer and "what do we do?" type conversations. If anything, I have faith that the Lord can do something even if we're just spinning our wheels.

Click to expand...

With whom are you having these conversations? Do you have a formal role in the church? Can you give us a thumbnail of the "whole history"?

gsmithcat said:

There's a whole history here (that I'm skipping). I'll only say that for years, many people from my church have spent countless hours hanging out with this guy trying to be friend, study the Word, etc... Still, he shows a complete lack of motivation to deal with the issues in his life (although he does express discontent with these issues).

Click to expand...

Unless I've read your posts wrong, you yourself have not spent any time with "this guy". Are you feeling lead to befriend him and minister to him Are other people suggesting that you should? Is this a personal decision, or a group decision?

gsmithcat said:

I've been pondering how to pose this question without writing a novel. Here's my attempt.

It seems that we have finite time to do many things:
Relationship with God
Relationship with others
Ministry
Outreach
Video Games

I want to spend time with people and grow together in our relationships with God, but is it worth my time to hang out with someone who simply does not want to grow (when I could actually use this time with other people)?

There's a whole history here (that I'm skipping). I'll only say that for years, many people from my church have spent countless hours hanging out with this guy trying to be friend, study the Word, etc... Still, he shows a complete lack of motivation to deal with the issues in his life (although he does express discontent with these issues). It's like that "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink" type of thing.

Any thoughts or scripture?

Click to expand...

In my experience, God places people in our paths for a reason. And the more frustrating people, in hindsight, have contributed to my growth, more than it turns out I have to them. Perhaps you are the student, not the teacher? Perhaps patience and faith are fruit you will gain from this? Be careful not to take it upon yourself to seperate the goats from the sheep. I will have you and your "unmotivated" aquaintance in my prayers.

A leader in our church had been witnessing to his friends for nearly 30 years. All the same kinds of things you are talking about. This guy ran hot and cold and told Mike pretty often just what he wanted to hear. Mike didn't give up on him and this guy asked Christ to come into his heart last December. Good thing Mike never gave up.
I think you have to be careful to actually BE his friend and not be his friend with ulterior motives, such as making him a project for witnessing. Not to say that you shouldn't witness but people do know when you have some goal in mind when you are with them. If you back off becuase this guy isn't responding the way you like, it WILL say to him that you were only willing to be his friend if he fulfilled your goal for him.