Is this rational?

[somethingBEAUTIFUL]

I had planned to drive up to see my boyfriend today, who lives over 2 hours away. However it began storming around 5 this morning, and it didn't stop raining until around 10. Forecast predicts storms to start back up late afternoon/early evening too. I chose to stay home, and he said ok but that he was frustrated. I explained to him that I wouldn't feel entirely comfortable driving on the wet roads, especially if it became bad weather again. He told me to bring a bag and I could stay the night in his guest room if necessary, but I am unsure about that. Also I offered to drive up early tomorrow morning even though it is Sunday. His response to that was neutrally negative ("You can I guess, but you won't get to stay all that late.").

He's sent me a couple of text messages this afternoon telling me he's really disappointed. He also sent a pic of his cat with the caption, "In case you've forgotten what he looks like.....he's sad too."

I understand he's sad, but it felt like he was trying to rub it in a little. I feel bad, but also I feel like I made a wise decision. There have been so many wrecks this past week alone. Plus I told him I'd be willing to drive up tomorrow!

Thoughts, anyone?

 

[mina]

If you aren't comfortable driving in storms then don't do it. He should understand; and i think it's a little immature to try and guilt you about it. If he's so upset , why doesn't he come see you?

 

[Puptart]

Sounds like something a highschool-aged boyfriend or girlfriend would say and do to be quite honest. Is it understandable to be disappointed? Maybe.. but it's not the end of the world and you have to handle that disappointment in a mature manner.

Do you see him very often out of curiosity?

 

[somethingBEAUTIFUL]

If you aren't comfortable driving in storms then don't do it. He should understand; and i think it's a little immature to try and guilt you about it. If he's so upset , why doesn't he come see you?

Thanks for the supportive response. I would have understood if the situation were reversed. You're right, he could've come here, but I didn't ever mention anything about that.

 

[somethingBEAUTIFUL]

Sounds like something a highschool-aged boyfriend or girlfriend would say and do to be quite honest. Is it understandable to be disappointed? Maybe.. but it's not the end of the world and you have to handle that disappointment in a mature manner.

Do you see him very often out of curiosity?

Yes, I see him quite often, nearly every weekend. His mom and brother live in the area, and he comes down to see them a lot, and sees me too. Every now and then I drive up to his place. Then, there's a city exactly halfway between our homes where we meet occasionally for a few hours to eat dinner together and maybe catch a movie.

 

[Cjwinnit]

Rational behaviour in a relationship?

Good luck

 

[Beniah]

He's more concerned about himself than he is about your own safety. Any decent guy who seriously cared for his girlfriend would be more concerned about the bad weather than about himself not getting to see you. Very immature on his part to try and make you feel bad.

 

[LinkH]

It does sound immature, but maybe telling you how sad he was was his way of trying to communicate how much he missed you.

 

[flyff]

Yes, you are right.

 

[NiobiumTragedy]

The funny thing about this thread is that I see a lot of guys calling him immature, but in his shoes, I bet they would all be doing the same thing. I know I would be disappointed myself, but that's mainly because I don't see wet roads as a big deal and have no problem driving in them. Thus, I'm guessing he isn't completely understanding the way you think.

It's easy for people on an internet forum to point fingers at the "bad guy" when they aren't walking in their shoes.

 

[Luther073082]

The funny thing about this thread is that I see a lot of guys calling him immature, but in his shoes, I bet they would all be doing the same thing. I know I would be disappointed myself, but that's mainly because I don't see wet roads as a big deal and have no problem driving in them. Thus, I'm guessing he isn't completely understanding the way you think.

It's easy for people on an internet forum to point fingers at the "bad guy" when they aren't walking in their shoes.

This. . . although if there is a lot of standing water they can become a problem. So heavy rain I can understand. . . light rain, not so much.

Would also add that the cat thing might have just beem more of an attempt at a cute joke then an attempt to guilt you.

Is it possible you being a little upset at his dissappointment or tone could have colored how you viewed the cat thing?

 

[somethingBEAUTIFUL]

I agree with NiobiumTragedy. It's easy to point fingers on the Internet.

Luther, that is completely possible. He was highly disappointed and really missed me, and more likely than not, the cat thing was simply meant to be humorous.

Then, he doubted I really would, but I drove up on Sunday to see him. That made him (and myself) very happy. Still, he teased me a bit about not coming up on the day before. It is always so hard to leave though, especially with the distance that is between us. It's HARD to drive 5 hours in a day too (2-and-a-half each way)!

 

[K9_Trainer]

He's definitely disappointed, but I wouldn't call him immature. It's just a knee jerk reaction...He really wanted to see you, and he's bummed that decided to stay home because of the rain. You are being rational...You should never drive in conditions that you don't feel safe driving in, it was a very good decision on your part. I've driven in some pretty rainy conditions myself and it can be very dangerous, hydroplaning is not fun.

 

[Luther073082]

I agree with NiobiumTragedy. It's easy to point fingers on the Internet.

Luther, that is completely possible. He was highly disappointed and really missed me, and more likely than not, the cat thing was simply meant to be humorous.

Then, he doubted I really would, but I drove up on Sunday to see him. That made him (and myself) very happy. Still, he teased me a bit about not coming up on the day before. It is always so hard to leave though, especially with the distance that is between us. It's HARD to drive 5 hours in a day too (2-and-a-half each way)!

It's probably best that you don't make too much out of his dissappointment.

If you want a relationship where both of you are free to express your emotions, you know he has to kind of be free to be able to express his negative emotions too. As long as he's not going too far (such as beign freaking out angry) it's a good thing that you just let him be disappointed and then deal with that instead of getting mad at him for being disappointed.