Is this my OCD? Please help!

[ForeverHis777]

Hubby and I got into a fight this morning. My OCD usually revolves around worrying about my marriage so he gets fed up with me fast.

I am eight months along and was feeling insecure and rather fat (lol) so I asked him if any one else turns him on and he said "no. I tell you that all the time." Of course, he was upset because I do ask that often. So I told him "I'm sorry. I'm just feeling insecure and don't want you to be turned on by anybody else." We were also talking about me feeling rejected because when I try to have sex with him and he is any bit upset with me he will refuse. I told him this made me feel rejected.

So later on he said "When you act this way it doesn't help your case." I asked him what that meant and he said "Getting me to sleep with you."

I have now run the two things on and am afraid by "doesn't help my case" means that the way I act makes him be attracted to other people! Is this my OCD running these two things on? Do you think I should leave this be and just take what he explained it as instead of assuming the worst?

(I know this may sound crazy but for those of you who also have OCD I know you'll understand.) Thanks!!

 

[ForeverHis777]

Any help is greatly appreciated! (Sorry to be bugging everyone this is just ruining my marriage and I need some advice today badly.)

 

[seajoy]

It's OCD. Have you had any therapy for your OCD? I think you would benefit greatly, and would help you to stop asking your husband those questions.

 

[ForeverHis777]

Thanks Seajoy! :O) I am currently on a low dose of prozac to cope with anxiety. I am in waiting for an appointment with a therapist. I hear that the combo of medicine and therapy is the best way to approach OCD.

God bless!

 

[Dogperson]

I think what your husband meant by it "not helping your case" was not that it was making him attracted to other people but that it was making him not in the mood for sex because he had feelings of annoyance. I don't think he meant anything worse than that. I can't speak for other people but when I'm annoyed at my spouse the last thing I want to do is have sex with him. Mind you, I am not at all taking your husband's side against you because I also have OCD & I understand your feelings of insecurity. Probably the pregnancy hormones are making this worse. I have never been pregnant but I can imagine that I would also be worried about my attractiveness once I got in the last few months of it. I think that is probably pretty common. You might want to mention this at your next doctor visit. Also, you might want to discuss with your doctor what to do in regard to meds once the pregnancy is over because women with OCD are more prone to postpartum depression.

 

[kandcmom]

I agree with dogperson in that you need to discuss with your dr what treatment you will need after you have the baby. My ocd started postpartumly and it took me a long time to realize what was wrong with me. With my second pregnancy I worked along with my psychiatrist and it was tolerated much better. Your dr can help you through this hormonal time.
kathy

 

[ForeverHis777]

Thanks Dogperson and Kathy. I really appreciate your help, ladies! Big hugs . . .

 

[kaykay9.0]

Yes, I agree with Dogperson's explanation about what your husband meant. My husband is in general very patient with me about my OCD battles. That said, there have been times he has gotten annoyed and just plain exasperated with me about some of them. It is difficult for the spouse to understand why normal reassurance doesn't help. They can't understand cuz they haven't battled OCD. But look at it from their perspective...it IS frustrating to deal with the same issues again and again. I think you are on the right track in trying to seek treatment and treating the root problem (OCD) not just the symptoms of it.Praying for you~

 

[ForeverHis777]

Thanks Kay Kay for so faithfully encouraging me.

It's nice to know that I am not alone. My husband is going through "fed up" phase right now. And I feel comforted knowing that other spouses can't understand why normal reassurance doesn't help too. This place is hard to be in because when he becomes extremely fed up he won't offer any kind of reassurance. Which is difficult when you have a new worry come up. But I know that this is not his fault. The reassurance thing is my own problem.

And thanks for the prayers, Kay Kay! Also praying for you and all the lovely folks who have offered advice. This section of Christian Forums is extremely supportive. I made the mistake of posting in Marriage sections and every one told me I was a quack. lol Which may be true but didn't make me feel good.

 

[kaykay9.0]

Thanks Kay Kay for so faithfully encouraging me.

It's nice to know that I am not alone. My husband is going through "fed up" phase right now. And I feel comforted knowing that other spouses can't understand why normal reassurance doesn't help too. This place is hard to be in because when he becomes extremely fed up he won't offer any kind of reassurance. Which is difficult when you have a new worry come up. But I know that this is not his fault. The reassurance thing is my own problem.

And thanks for the prayers, Kay Kay! Also praying for you and all the lovely folks who have offered advice. This section of Christian Forums is extremely supportive. I made the mistake of posting in Marriage sections and every one told me I was a quack. lol Which may be true but didn't make me feel good.

Regarding being "a quack"~~ OCD obsessions ARE unreasonable and over the top! That's why most people who haven't battled OCD just don't understand why these thoughts can't be just easily dismissed. I have often said that OCD takes something that has a grain of truth or COULD have a grain of truth and stretches it to the point that it becomes error or totally unreasonable. Reassurance can be helpful in certain amounts but the problem with it is that if you are truly struggling with OCD, you need to treat the problem because reassurance just doesn't last before the OCD jumps on something else.

Another website you might want to look at if you haven't is the following:
www.ocdonline.com
One caveat~Dr. Phillipson does not approach OCD from a Christian perspective, but I think he is so on target with most of what he says, I think it's worth a serious look at his advice.

 

[ForeverHis777]

Yes. LOL I understand why people think it is very quacker-jack, if you will. lol It really does sound crazy. And what's bad is that it's crazy to me too. But it's like it just can't be stopped no matter how crazy you realize you are being. Weird. lol

And thanks for the link. I appreciate you taking the time to share this with me. I will have a look this evening as I will need to keep my mind busy. My husband and I got into a fight today and I'm really in a "scratch the itch" kind of mood. lol

You're the best, Kay Kay!