Is remarriage sin for devorced Christian?

[mizuhodai]

Hi, I'm new to this forum and not sure this is the right place to ask this question but here we go.

My friend from high school became Christian recently but struggling with other Christians judgemental words about remarrige. She and her ex-husband divorced last year after he's been committed adultery. Now she's got this dilemma - Can she (now Christian) remarry someone while her husband still alive? Cos bible says that you can't get remarried if you had divorced and your ex is not dead.

She had some casual meeting today with a couple of pasters and bunch of Christian friends from her church (low anglican church) and she (though she didn't tell them that she had divorced in the past) felt so judged and hurt cos everyone's saying it's sin for widow to get remarried is her ex is still alive. And the word one of the vicars said [I would never marry divorced woman, it's not allowed] really crashed her (not because she's in love with him though). She sent me email embarrased and disheartened saying [I really don't feel any hope in my future as Christian]

I don't actually know the thology about this matter but if they said was true, wouldn't she have any chance to get remarried and start a new happy life? Sounds terrible though cos she herself didn't do anything to destroy her marriage.

I know Jesus didn't encourage anyone to get divorced but He also didn't judge that Samaritan woman (John 4) who married 5 times in her life. But then she wasn't Christian either when she kept remarring... Confused.

Any theological wisdom / knowledge from protestant born-again Christians please? (sorry if it sounds offensive, I just don't want to get mixed theological views from other denominations) Is there any passage in the bible that the divorced person got remarried and blessed while her ex is alive?

 

[RobinRedbreast]

Most people believe that divorce/remarriage is a "sin" because they've been taught to interpret those Bible passeges in a certain way. An incorrect way. Most people do not understand what the Bible is -actually- saying in much of what they read.

I'd love to sit here and re-educate you, but it might take me hours for the to type it all up. Instead, please go through the following site and read the truth about what the Bible says about MDR (Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage). Forward this to your friend. I hope it helps.

http://studies.assembly-ministries.org/viewforum.php?f=12

Take care

 

[Flibbertigibbet]

Southern Baptist here - and this is what I have both read for myself in the Bible, and been taught by my pastor:

#1 - your friend was divorced on account of her husband's infidelity - this is a Biblical ground for divorce.

#2 - even had she divorced for grounds that are not Biblical, the divorce occurred prior to her accepting Christ. Even had it been a sin to divorce, all of her sins were wiped clean at that moment.

Conclusion: yes, she can remarry.

 

[mizuhodai]

Fliber - Thanks for the clear view. Yes, that's what I thought about her divorce and remarriage but wanted to seek the biblical evidence.
Just curious to know.... Do you know any passages in the bible about (wo)men divorced thier husbands / wives and remarried while the ex're still alive and blessed by God?

Morning Glory - A shame I couldn't get re-educated by you! lol Thanks for the site address but it's a bit too complicated (need really hours to read!) also not sure if I can understand his article well.
What's his denomination - the author? Thought he might be a catholic cos you seem to be catholic as well from the profile?

Sorry I don't mean to be offensive and I don't mean to say Catholic or other religeous people's view are all wrong but I just don't want to get confused with diffrent way of theological interpretation from different denomination so could you post a reply IF you are PROTESTANT Christian please.

 

[RobinRedbreast]

Trust me, if you knew me at all, you wouldn't be worrying that my faith icon is Catholic I'm one of the most liberal minds around here. I'm actually not Catholic, I just attend a Catholic church because I enjoy the services and feel most welcomed there. The main reason I am not Catholic is because I have so many issues with their doctrine that I'm not sure I can ever truly be Catholic -- however, that doesn't mean I can't attend their Mass

The denomination" Definitely not Catholic I assure you It's very well-written and well-researched. It's not that complicated if you sit down and read through it piece by piece, and it's well worth doing don't you think to find the truth? That's the problem with issues like these. People aren't interested in actually researching what the Bible is -really- saying because it takes too much time, it's too complicated, it's too this it's too that...

... I think God would be a little saddened by the fact that no one wants to take the time to learn, no one would take the time to actually understand what was written, and why.

Anyway, a simple look at the site would have given you the answers you just asked me:



http://www.assembly-ministries.org/
This is the intro from the site:
"If you’re looking for answers to specific questions our MDR Study Archives will have the answers. We’ve tried to harmonize every single detail from scripture, including harmonizing the Greek and Hebrew itself into a coherent whole along with the historical details while trying to keep everything as brief and as simplistic as possible for those of you who have families and jobs and simply do not have the time for longwinded theological dissertations when these things can be presented quite adequately in brief, to the point articles. If you don’t find what you are looking for, please feel free to email us. If you have a question that needs answering, odds are someone else has the same question, so we’ll add a study to the archives on the matter. "

These people study the original languages of the text to determine the truth in what was originally written.

This is what they state on "denomination":
http://www.assembly-ministries.org/page6.html

"We believe that it is NOT our Lords will that we separate ourselves from one another because of titles and slight differences in beliefs. While we do not judge those who do call themselves by some certain title, we personally believe that all Christians who follow the core beliefs of our faith are our brethren and we are not to be separated from them, even if it is only a title we give ourselves. We believe in fellowship with ANY who call themselves by His name who are not in open sin or teaching heresies against the essentials of the faith. We, Laura and I, call ourselves by nothing more than simply believers and christians."

You can go through that page for further details.





The biggest problem in Christianity that I've found over the years is listening to hearsay as fact, and not double-checking what you believe to be true.

I research everything for myself in vivid detail before I put myself behind it. I wouldn't recommend that site to you if I hadn't read every single word in it and found it to be highly credible information.

At any rate, that's the main reason I'm not going to keep sitting here and cutting-pasting "snips" from that site into this forum. Either you want to know what's true, and you'll read it and research it, or you don't want to know, and you won't. *shrugs*

Good luck to your friend, and to you.

 

[Flibbertigibbet]

Fliber - Thanks for the clear view. Yes, that's what I thought about her divorce and remarriage but wanted to seek the biblical evidence.
Just curious to know.... Do you know any passages in the bible about (wo)men divorced thier husbands / wives and remarried while the ex're still alive and blessed by God?

I'll post the scriptures either tonight or tomorrow. I'm at work right now and just checking in on a quick break.

 

[mizuhodai]

Flibbert - oh, do you know the person in the bible who remarried while ex's alive? Great. Both me and my husband didn't know the actual examples in the bible. I know we can get al sorts of opinions and interpretations but just wanted to find the bible passages itself cos then I don't need to get into any debate. Look forward to your next post!

Moring G. - Didn't realise you're gonna have a wedding next week?! And you had posted your long comments like these more than 1,200 times in less than 2months?! Oh my gooness. You should spend that time to prepare for your big day!! lol Anyway, wish you all the best on your wedding day. (BTW you look great in your wedding dress!)

 

[Johnnz]

Remarriage is not forbidden. The scriptures that appear to say it is can be understood quite differently when their context is known. Having said that, the biblical view of marriage must not be discounted.

John
NZ

 

[captiveheart]

I married the first time at age 20. By age 23 I was divorced. I accepted Christ in 1974 and felt convicted by the Holy Spirit when I considered remarriage. My ex was not a Christian and I decided that I would tell her about my conversion and ask if she wanted to get back together. We met for dinner and I told her the whole story. I told her that I believed I couldn't remarry if she wanted to be married to me. She said no. As she was the unbeliever I felt that her unwillingness to patch things up was the equivalent to her leaving and I felt free then to remarry.

 

[HuntingMan]

Hi, I'm new to this forum and not sure this is the right place to ask this question but here we go.

Hello sister

I think as long as 'debate' doesnt occur that this forum is a great place to discuss the matter.
What the forum is FOR is for us who are remarried or those considering remarriage.
When the discussion turns to debate about whether remarriage is allowed it belongs in Christian Philosophy and Ethics, from my understanding (at least thats where this thread will end up if it turns into a debate from what Ive seen so far)

Ill do my best to toss some helpful info out here.

My friend from high school became Christian recently but struggling with other Christians judgemental words about remarrige.

Bear in mind that there are sects in Christianity that do have a problem with remarriage...some with divorce as well even where the woman is being beaten savagely. Some even teach that she is to remain and even be murdered at the hands of her husband for the sake of keeping her marriage vows.
Id personally overlook what you hear from radical groups like these and get into Gods word on the matter for yourself

She and her ex-husband divorced last year after he's been committed adultery.

While adultery IS grounds for divorce, divorce still should be a last resort.
What I mean is that God was VERY forgiving of Israel when she played the harlot. He COULD have cast her aside the first time, but gave her many chances to change herself.
Now, we arent God, so please dont assume that I mean we shouldnt divorce over adultery, but for example in my own cases I didnt divorce when my ex's cheated, but only after they made it clear that they had no intent of being faithful in the marriage.
Committing adultery ONCE is quite enough to divorce over, but I believe that repairing the marriage is always the best route where it is possible to do so.

Now she's got this dilemma - Can she (now Christian) remarry someone while her husband still alive? Cos bible says that you can't get remarried if you had divorced and your ex is not dead.

Actually the bible says FAR more than that, tho many doctrines try to contain the issue to that sort of passage to keep us from understanding the whole truth.
That 'law' that binds a wife to her husband is quite conditional as explained in the following article.
"Bound by Law" (Romans 7, 1 Cor 7:39)

She had some casual meeting today with a couple of pasters and bunch of Christian friends from her church (low anglican church) and she (though she didn't tell them that she had divorced in the past) felt so judged and hurt cos everyone's saying it's sin for widow to get remarried is her ex is still alive. And the word one of the vicars said [I would never marry divorced woman, it's not allowed] really crashed her (not because she's in love with him though). She sent me email embarrased and disheartened saying [I really don't feel any hope in my future as Christian]

Its simply failing to harmonize all of the scriptures on the matter that lead folks to believe that way.
Sadly someone like your friend is the one who gets hurt when it becomes applicable to her own life because she is divorced thru no fault of her own.

I don't actually know the thology about this matter but if they said was true, wouldn't she have any chance to get remarried and start a new happy life? Sounds terrible though cos she herself didn't do anything to destroy her marriage.

I know Jesus didn't encourage anyone to get divorced but He also didn't judge that Samaritan woman (John 4) who married 5 times in her life. But then she wasn't Christian either when she kept remarring... Confused.

Any theological wisdom / knowledge from protestant born-again Christians please? (sorry if it sounds offensive, I just don't want to get mixed theological views from other denominations) Is there any passage in the bible that the divorced person got remarried and blessed while her ex is alive?

The problem with any scriptures that would say that a remarriage is 'blessed' is that with mans horrible ability to pervert anything God says we can rest assured that such a passage would be used by some to actually justify divorce and remarriage....just as the Jews perverted Moses intent in Deut 24:1-4 when they claimed that it was Moses permitting or even commanding them to divorce when it was nothing of the sort.
It wouldnt be a good thing at all for scriptures to literally show that divorce or remarriage is 'good'.
What is presented instead is the overall tone that marriage is a conditional covenant with rules and method to end it without the death of the husband (as presented in the previous link) and that remarriage is 'assumed' after divorce where there is just cause to do so.
This is a theme we learn, not just from a handful of verses, but from the whole bible...NT and OT....that are taken all together so that we can see from the whole what GOD intends marriage to be and when GOD says that it can be ended justly.


Its very easy for me to sit here and tell you 'yes, your friend can remarry'....but I assure you that that wont be enough....there will be some small doubt deep down inside until your friend gets into Gods word and learns the truth for herself.
Even if someone does take my word for something, 10 years down the road if they didnt learn the facts about remarriage from scripture then some other person from church is just going to get the whole doubting thing started again. Much better to figure it out now and become a rock for the truth in the matter that way there is no worrying about having to figure it out years after being remarried and having that horrible distress (which I have had to talk many folks thru over the last few years).

If your friend is being given specific things to show her that she cannot remarry, such as the 'bound by law' thing, just have her hop on over to our website and look that up. There is a search engine on the study archive and many of the articles are written to clear explain specific issues such as being 'bound by law' till the death of the spouse.

God bless

 

[HuntingMan]

Fliber - Thanks for the clear view. Yes, that's what I thought about her divorce and remarriage but wanted to seek the biblical evidence.
Just curious to know.... Do you know any passages in the bible about (wo)men divorced thier husbands / wives and remarried while the ex're still alive and blessed by God?

Morning Glory - A shame I couldn't get re-educated by you! lol Thanks for the site address but it's a bit too complicated (need really hours to read!) also not sure if I can understand his article well.
What's his denomination - the author? Thought he might be a catholic cos you seem to be catholic as well from the profile?

Sorry I don't mean to be offensive and I don't mean to say Catholic or other religeous people's view are all wrong but I just don't want to get confused with diffrent way of theological interpretation from different denomination so could you post a reply IF you are PROTESTANT Christian please.

Thats our site.
Its a bit much if someone is just looking for a verse that says 'you can remarry' because what we did instead was to try to write up individual articles for each and every argument presented by those who oppose remarriage.

I guess an 'easy' start would maybe be this one instead;
Im divorced, can I remarry?

That 'might' help get the ball rolling.

 

[RobinRedbreast]

I was trying to remember who's site that was around here too, I kept going in and out of profiles trying to find it and then I found it on yours. I adore that site Hunting, it's outstanding.

 

[Johnnz]

I have some material on this if anyone wants to email me so I can send it as an attachment.

John
NZ

 

[HuntingMan]

I was trying to remember who's site that was around here too, I kept going in and out of profiles trying to find it and then I found it on yours. I adore that site Hunting, it's outstanding.

Thank you very much
We love putting the work into it.
Id love to start refining a lot of it, but Im a horrid writer so Id like to see if I could get help at some point to take the material in each of the articles and have someone who CAN write redo a lot of it (keeping the same material but making it flow easier).
I think what happened is a few smaller points we were trying to make just got completely out of control

Ive tried writing a synopsis and then linking text from that to the different applicable articles so that there is ONE main writing that briefly mentions most or all of the individual studies to link to, but every time I start it my brain goes to mush

 

[mizuhodai]

John - Yes, I agree with what you said.

Captiveheart - Thanks for sharing your experience. Can I ask why you asked your ex-wife if she wanted to remarry you? Is that because someone from the church suggested that or you just felt you should do?
Anyway, I hope you're happy now and God blessed your remarriage?

Huntingman - Thanks a lot for the careful explanation, that website was easy to understand as well.

I saw my friend on Sunday after church and told her what I understand about remarriage. She seemed to be reassured but also she told me some interesting thing as well. She told me that when she was in despair and in deep prayer a few days ago, God showed her a clear vision about remarriage through the story of Elizabeth, Zechariah and John. God also told her that her new partner is a committed Christian worker. She believed that God will give her a new family and started having a hope.

 

[Svt4Him]

Remarriage is never sin and is often God's will.

Loaded statement, but I'm willing to examine the whole Bible to prove it.

 

[Johnnz]

Do you know any passages in the bible about (wo)men divorced thier husbands / wives and remarried while the ex're still alive and blessed by God?

God divorced Israel.

John
NZ

 

[mizuhodai]

Yesterday, I had a meeting with the senior paster at our church and asked about the rules in remarriage that I've heard from somewhere like `people cannot have a wedding for remarriage at this church' or `Vicars are not allowed to get married to a devorced woman' etc..
The answer was that there's no such rule about the paster's marriage with devorced people but there IS for wedding ceremony.
What he said was that they would talk and discuss with the person about her (his) divorce case and if they think it's apporopriate to support her (his) remarriage as church, they would do the blessing service / celebration for them but they would NOT do the legal stuff (siging the sheet bit).
I thought it's quite interesting and though I couldn't accept it completely, I kind of understood their position when he said there're so many people who come to church without any commitment or royalty just want to have a `chapel wedding' no matter what their situation is. And since the church is based in central London, it's so international where the people coming in and out all the time from every part of the world, quite often no one knows the individual's private life history and that makes it even more difficult for the church to set the boundary where they can accept and support the people's marriage case.
Anyway, I explained that to my friend and she understood it and sort of understood.

John - Could you explain how you could apply that to this?

 

[Johnnz]

Just a comment - God himself used the image of divorce regarding His relationship with Israel, due to their faithlessness.

John
NZ

 

[HuntingMan]

Just a comment - God himself used the image of divorce regarding His relationship with Israel, due to their faithlessness.

John
NZ

Which is a very good point.
God didnt have to use the writ of divorce idea to do what He did with Israel, for sure. His use of it seems to show that the writ has His seal of approval WHEN the divorce is for a just cause.