Is Pity Moral?

[Received]

Pity might not be the word I'm looking for. I'm referring to the feeling of looking down at another person in sorrow because of their situation. Contrast this with compassion, which is by definition egalitarian: when I feel compassion ("suffer with") someone, I'm right there on their level.

Pity, on the other hand, seems to invite a feeling of looking down on another person, albeit not in a malevolent or contemptuous way. Pity is definitely supportive, but it just doesn't feel healthy for me when the alternative is compassion.

If I feel pity for someone I see their situation sympathetically, from the outside, and what invites pity goes hand in hand with my sense of being well off in contrast to the one toward whom pity is shown. Pity seems to confer objectification of the other, given that we're caught up in our responses to the person rather than attempting to ascertain what their situation is like from the inside. Compassion, however, fits well with empathy, with seeing things from their own perspective, which is how we learn to suffer with them.

Take the random example of someone who has a disability and succeeds. Crowds go wild. But what's really happening in much of the crowd? They're feeling pity that gives way to jubilation; they see the person's condition which invites feelings of sadness in them, and the success they're exhibiting contrasts strongly with the sadness the pitier feels, causing this jubilation.

So maybe pity might be moral, but I don't see it as a mature morality.

 

[Dave-W]

Since there is biblical evidence that God takes pity on us, I would have to say it is entirely ethical/moral. What would NOT be moral is to see someone in dire straits and harden your heart against them.

 

[quatona]

Pity might not be the word I'm looking for. I'm referring to the feeling of looking down at another person in sorrow because of their situation. Contrast this with compassion, which is by definition egalitarian: when I feel compassion ("suffer with") someone, I'm right there on their level.

Pity, on the other hand, seems to invite a feeling of looking down on another person, albeit not in a malevolent or contemptuous way. Pity is definitely supportive, but it just doesn't feel healthy for me when the alternative is compassion.

If I feel pity for someone I see their situation sympathetically, from the outside, and what invites pity goes hand in hand with my sense of being well off in contrast to the one toward whom pity is shown. Pity seems to confer objectification of the other, given that we're caught up in our responses to the person rather than attempting to ascertain what their situation is like from the inside. Compassion, however, fits well with empathy, with seeing things from their own perspective, which is how we learn to suffer with them.

Take the random example of someone who has a disability and succeeds. Crowds go wild. But what's really happening in much of the crowd? They're feeling pity that gives way to jubilation; they see the person's condition which invites feelings of sadness in them, and the success they're exhibiting contrasts strongly with the sadness the pitier feels, causing this jubilation.

So maybe pity might be moral, but I don't see it as a mature morality.

I agree pretty much with your view on pity - except in my understanding pity is a feeling, and feelings are neither moral nor immoral.

 

[bhsmte]

Pity might not be the word I'm looking for. I'm referring to the feeling of looking down at another person in sorrow because of their situation. Contrast this with compassion, which is by definition egalitarian: when I feel compassion ("suffer with") someone, I'm right there on their level.

Pity, on the other hand, seems to invite a feeling of looking down on another person, albeit not in a malevolent or contemptuous way. Pity is definitely supportive, but it just doesn't feel healthy for me when the alternative is compassion.

If I feel pity for someone I see their situation sympathetically, from the outside, and what invites pity goes hand in hand with my sense of being well off in contrast to the one toward whom pity is shown. Pity seems to confer objectification of the other, given that we're caught up in our responses to the person rather than attempting to ascertain what their situation is like from the inside. Compassion, however, fits well with empathy, with seeing things from their own perspective, which is how we learn to suffer with them.

Take the random example of someone who has a disability and succeeds. Crowds go wild. But what's really happening in much of the crowd? They're feeling pity that gives way to jubilation; they see the person's condition which invites feelings of sadness in them, and the success they're exhibiting contrasts strongly with the sadness the pitier feels, causing this jubilation.

So maybe pity might be moral, but I don't see it as a mature morality.

I tend to think, you are trying to split hairs on this one.

 

[Received]

Since there is biblical evidence that God takes pity on us, I would have to say it is entirely ethical/moral. What would NOT be moral is to see someone in dire straits and harden your heart against them.

I'm finding compassion in scripture. If God has pity, that's a different animal, seeing how there really is superiority there, so it's different.

 

[Received]

I agree pretty much with your view on pity - except in my understanding pity is a feeling, and feelings are neither moral nor immoral.

Good point. Maybe I should have asked whether pity fits well as a virtue or action tendency for a person, i.e., reflects better on their character than compassion.

 

[Received]

I tend to think, you are trying to split hairs on this one.

You think pity and compassion are the same?

 

[Chany]

You think pity and compassion are the same?

Though not directed at me, yes. Pity might have a slightly different connotation of being a bit sadder and being a bit more apathetic in outcome (we use the world pity in situations where we do not take action), but both are based in the ability of empathy. At best, you can argue they are different versions of the same thing: the empathetic ability to look at the other and feel a sense of pain.

 

[Received]

Though not directed at me, yes. Pity might have a slightly different connotation of being a bit sadder and being a bit more apathetic in outcome (we use the world pity in situations where we do not take action), but both are based in the ability of empathy. At best, you can argue they are different versions of the same thing: the empathetic ability to look at the other and feel a sense of pain.

That was a bad question to ask, since I made it clear that pity might not be the exact word I'm looking for.

What inspired this thread is a video on my Facebook wall of a guy with cerebral palsy who is a bodybuilder. The crowd goes wild, naturally. I don't see this as compassionate, largely because I see little empathy going on. The crowd isn't really sharing his suffering as they are coming close to looking at his suffering and responding positively, which seems to make it closer to sympathy than empathy.

So what word would you use for this?

 

[SteveB28]

That was a bad question to ask, since I made it clear that pity might not be the exact word I'm looking for.

What inspired this thread is a video on my Facebook wall of a guy with cerebral palsy who is a bodybuilder. The crowd goes wild, naturally. I don't see this as compassionate, largely because I see little empathy going on. The crowd isn't really sharing his suffering as they are coming close to looking at his suffering and responding positively, which seems to make it closer to sympathy than empathy.

So what word would you use for this?

I think you may be over-analysing this somewhat...

Morality is an individual, personal agenda. But we construct it as social animals, capable of experiencing empathy for the pain and harm exhibited in others.

When the 'crowd' sees the person with cerebral palsy (or any other debilitating condition), the people in that crowd are able to empathise with the difficulties the sufferer is facing. We contemplate how each of us would feel, were we in the same position. We realise that life would be difficult. Perhaps we would hope for some means of overcoming the difficulties imposed, if we were the one suffering.

So, our positive response in seeing the sufferer succeed in some way is entirely natural and should be expected.

 

[LOVEthroughINTELLECT]

Pity might not be the word I'm looking for. I'm referring to the feeling of looking down at another person in sorrow because of their situation. Contrast this with compassion, which is by definition egalitarian: when I feel compassion ("suffer with") someone, I'm right there on their level.

Pity, on the other hand, seems to invite a feeling of looking down on another person, albeit not in a malevolent or contemptuous way. Pity is definitely supportive, but it just doesn't feel healthy for me when the alternative is compassion.

If I feel pity for someone I see their situation sympathetically, from the outside, and what invites pity goes hand in hand with my sense of being well off in contrast to the one toward whom pity is shown. Pity seems to confer objectification of the other, given that we're caught up in our responses to the person rather than attempting to ascertain what their situation is like from the inside. Compassion, however, fits well with empathy, with seeing things from their own perspective, which is how we learn to suffer with them.

Take the random example of someone who has a disability and succeeds. Crowds go wild. But what's really happening in much of the crowd? They're feeling pity that gives way to jubilation; they see the person's condition which invites feelings of sadness in them, and the success they're exhibiting contrasts strongly with the sadness the pitier feels, causing this jubilation.

So maybe pity might be moral, but I don't see it as a mature morality.

A dictionary does not help--the results I get seem to say that pity, compassion, empathy and sympathy are all synonymous.

My belief is this: pity is recognizing, acknowledging and then feeling sorrow over the load that others are carrying in the form of pain/suffering/misfortune; compassion is emotionally and/or spiritually addressing that load. The latter requires actively, consciously employing empathy; the former only requires passive sympathy.

 

[Ana the Ist]

Pity might not be the word I'm looking for. I'm referring to the feeling of looking down at another person in sorrow because of their situation. Contrast this with compassion, which is by definition egalitarian: when I feel compassion ("suffer with") someone, I'm right there on their level.

Pity, on the other hand, seems to invite a feeling of looking down on another person, albeit not in a malevolent or contemptuous way. Pity is definitely supportive, but it just doesn't feel healthy for me when the alternative is compassion.

If I feel pity for someone I see their situation sympathetically, from the outside, and what invites pity goes hand in hand with my sense of being well off in contrast to the one toward whom pity is shown. Pity seems to confer objectification of the other, given that we're caught up in our responses to the person rather than attempting to ascertain what their situation is like from the inside. Compassion, however, fits well with empathy, with seeing things from their own perspective, which is how we learn to suffer with them.

Take the random example of someone who has a disability and succeeds. Crowds go wild. But what's really happening in much of the crowd? They're feeling pity that gives way to jubilation; they see the person's condition which invites feelings of sadness in them, and the success they're exhibiting contrasts strongly with the sadness the pitier feels, causing this jubilation.

So maybe pity might be moral, but I don't see it as a mature morality.

I've long associated pity as a form of compassion without an ability to relate to the suffering directly. That is, imagining someone's circumstances in a completely fictional way...and feeling sorry for them.

For example, if I were to hear the story of a man who spent 5 years in jail for being wrongly convicted...I might pity him. I wouldn't call it compassion though since I have no real frame of reference for that kind of loss.

 

[quatona]

That was a bad question to ask, since I made it clear that pity might not be the exact word I'm looking for.

Just FYI: In German we have the words "Mitgefühl" and "Mitleid" which very closely reflect the difference you are addressing.

What inspired this thread is a video on my Facebook wall of a guy with cerebral palsy who is a bodybuilder. The crowd goes wild, naturally. I don't see this as compassionate, largely because I see little empathy going on. The crowd isn't really sharing his suffering as they are coming close to looking at his suffering and responding positively, which seems to make it closer to sympathy than empathy.

So what word would you use for this?

Actually, in this particular case I don´t see how and why to expect either. The guy exhibits an ability or excellence - I´m not seeing that his suffering is the subject of his performance. (But I haven´t seen the video, so I may be wrong. I am thinking Paralympics, and I am just amazed by the performances, not any different than with the "normal" Olympics.)
Come to think of it, it seems to me that thinking of a person as somewhat disabled/handicapped is always at the very root of the feeling "pity" (Mitleid).

 

[Dave-W]

I'm finding compassion in scripture. If God has pity, that's a different animal,

Can you show me where Biblical Hebrew or Biblical Greek make the distinction?

 

[quatona]

I'm finding compassion in scripture. If God has pity, that's a different animal, seeing how there really is superiority there, so it's different.

I find that a surprising qualification.
Even when I learn that someone is superiour to me in a certain field, I don´t want their pity.