is masturbation OK if marital sex is not possible?

[landsurveyor]

At some point in life many people will find themselves a widow or widower, or in a situation where their spouse is unable or unwilling to engage in sexual activity.

I can see how MB to images of another person would be basically cheating on one's spouse if you were both healthy and willing, but if marital sex is not possible, would God understand the situation and excuse you?

This is assuming that nothing can be done to improve the situation.

 

[Tainted Scrolls]

This is a very clouded subject. I read through the bible scripture after scripture and I honestly cannot find the Evidence that Christians use to proove that Masturbating is a sin. It just isnt. Saying that it is a sin is not biblical in any way shape or form. I can go on and on about this but I know people will come in here and want to argue you, but I don't think their is anything wrong with it regardless of the cirucmstance

 

[LinkH]

My guess is this thread will be shut down in the mixed gendered forum. I'm not a moderator, so it's not my call. If you've posted enough and you have an icon thingy to show that you are married, you can get accessed to the MarriedMen's forum where they allow discussions on these sorts of topics.

 

[landsurveyor]

I intentionally posted it here because I would like to hear what some women think. Asking only men will introduce gender bias.

 

[LinkH]

We'll see if the mods allow it. For some things CF isn't the place to get cross-gender input. Kids 13 and up can read this in an open forum, so I can understand the restrictions on certain topics.

 

[landsurveyor]

We'll see if the mods allow it. For some things CF isn't the place to get cross-gender input. Kids 13 and up can read this in an open forum, so I can understand the restrictions on certain topics.

My apolgies. I guess I was assuming that 13 year olds would not be reading the Married section.
Is there somewhere on the site that would be appropriate?

 

[Hetta]

My apolgies. I guess I was assuming that 13 year olds would not be reading the Married section.
Is there somewhere on the site that would be appropriate?

13 year olds can also attach a married icon and a male or female symbol and post in married women/married men's threads, so it's not really any protection. Anyway, I doubt there is much being said here that would shock most 13 year olds.

That all being said, I agree with what Tainted Scrolls said - I fail to see what is wrong with masturbation, especially in the situation that you gave. Far better surely than to commit infidelity if the spouse is still alive, but cannot have sex for some reason. Far better than marrying a 'replacement' husband or wife for no other reason than to have sex.

But that's just me ..

 

[seeingeyes]

13 year olds can also attach a married icon and a male or female symbol and post in married women/married men's threads, so it's not really any protection. Anyway, I doubt there is much being said here that would shock most 13 year olds.

Yeah, I'm not really fond of the 'precious babies' theory of censorship, myself.

If there were any part of this board I would 'block' from my kids, it would probably be GT.

 

[Darkhorse]

Of course it's OK

You're not violating any commandments, cheating on your spouse, or hurting anyone, including yourself.

 

[Crybaby2384]

I think as long as you are not looking at porn then it is ok. If you are looking at other people then I think it would be a sin regardless of what your situation is because it is lusting after another person.

 

[Natalie+]

My married friends at one point couldn't have sex for a while because the wife had just had a surgery and had to recover. They weren't having sex beforehand because of related medical reasons, and going so long without it was causing the husband discomfort "down there". I personally think in that situation it would've been okay to touch to relieve that discomfort. As long as it was with thoughts of his wife only! Or if she was there even.

While the bible doesn't specifically say that masturbation is a sin (not that I could find), it is generally accompanied by porn and lustful thoughts for most people. Those things are the sin. If you can't touch without that type of stimulus, then masturbating for you would be a sin. But I think a husband or wife is an okay stimulus, such as if the above situation occurred. I don't think there's anything wrong with being aroused by your spouse, and especially if the spouse is okay with it I don't see it as sin. But if you can't get aroused without a sinful stimulus, then masturbation is a sin for you.

Romans 14:23 "But the man who has doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin." Basically this verse is saying "When in doubt, don't do it!" If there's any doubt in your heart about the act, then it would be sinning to do it.

 

[Nienna_Lady_of_Tears]

I'm going to bite the bullet here and try not to go into TMI. My husband masturbates most of the month and we have sex once or twice a month, the twice a month being if we're lucky. It would be more often if I could do it, but we found out after we were married that our sizes are incompatible and sex causes so much pain unless weeks are spent preparing me beforehand. It doesn't help matters that every time after I get my monthly I practically swell shut. So, my husband helps me in other ways and then he gets to touch. I see no problem with this arrangement.

 

[dayhiker]

I don't see anything sinful about a spouse masturbating when the other spouse is incapasidated.

Nienna, I love the way the two of you are helping each other with this.

 

[RDKirk]

I'm going to bite the bullet here and try not to go into TMI. My husband masturbates most of the month and we have sex once or twice a month, the twice a month being if we're lucky. It would be more often if I could do it, but we found out after we were married that our sizes are incompatible and sex causes so much pain unless weeks are spent preparing me beforehand. It doesn't help matters that every time after I get my monthly I practically swell shut. So, my husband helps me in other ways and then he gets to touch. I see no problem with this arrangement.

Can you not make it mutual all the time? It's not the penetration that particularly counts.

 

[Purge187]

I've wondered about this from the perspective of a single person who might not be able to get married.

Even before I accepted Jesus I always had more self-control than most of my gender, so I have no problems saying no to extra-marital sex. But I'd like to think that God would be merciful to single believers who never had the chance to marry and experience sex in its most proper "outlet".

I guess we'll see.

 

[Inkachu]

If the spouses are engaged in each other's MB activities (whether present physically or thinking only of each other) AND they're physically unable to have sex, I don't think it's wrong. I don't think they should be isolated from each other for these intimacies; ideally they should still be intimate, even if they aren't having intercourse (there ARE other things to be done!), there should be no porn, no fantasizing about other people (even imaginary ones), and it should never be a replacement for actual intercourse if they're able.