Is It Too Much?

[Freakconformist]

I am depressed, I can't get a job, I have no money, and everything in my life has been dumping on me for more than a year. Even though everybody tells me that God is going to help me through my troubles, nothing positive has come into my life in months. A few weeks ago I was at one of the lowest points in my life, and I needed prayer.

When the pastor called for invitation I came up and stood to the front pew and waited... and waited... and waited. The pastor never invited me to come to him. After service, I was trying to get out of church without breaking down into a sobbing mess, when they pastor walked by and said, "I wasn't sure if you wanted prayer or..."
Of course, that would be why I came forward, but I didn't say that I turned to him, "I'm just at the end of my rope and..." I half sobbed.
"That's unfortunate, I'll be praying for you." He patted me on the back and walked off.

I would like to say that is the only time I have been brushed off like that, but unfortunately I've had it happen quite a few times. The leaders of the church I went to a few years ago acted like that. Even though they only had about 20 people to minister to, they were more concerned about where the church office should be and when the city picked up the trash. I know, I was their secretary.

Look, I know that a lot of pastors and leaders out there have a lot on their table, organizing VBS, setting up Sunday Service, and tip-toeing around all the political intrigue on the Church Council. I don't expect people to hold my hand through every tremble and trial I go through. But, seriously, if a person looks to be on the edge of tears and says they're at the end of their rope, is it too much to ask for five minutes of prayer? Maybe even a little comfort?

It just makes me wonder, if the the service and events are the most important thing to the church leadership, why am I going to church? What kind of church society are we cultivating when we put so much effort into bringing people into the church, but ignore the pain of those who are already there? What is the point of having a perfect service, when the people being ministered to go home just as devastated as when they arrived?

Really, I don't need answers to these questions, but I do think people need to ask them. You can only answer for yourself, and you can ask your leaders to ask themselves these kind of questions. Do you really think people come to church because VBS was just that awesome? Or do you think, maybe, they've run into an insurmountable wall in their life and they need somebody to say "It's going to be okay."

 

[LottyH]

Its not asking too much for people to show a little compassion. Unfortunately I've been to many churches where I have felt invisible and not just not fit in the expected mould. To be fair, I've lacked a lot of social skills and would try to run out as soon as the service was over.

But if someone did strike up a conversation it was just small talk, how long have you been coming to church, where do you work etc etc. I just wanted someone to talk to me about God, and ask me how are things going, and find out if I was actually saved. Perhaps that's expecting too much and you need to go through the motions of forming a friendship before people are comfortable with those sorts of conversations.

I have sat and cried in church during the worship and been completely ignored by others around me. Maybe they thought I wanted a private moment? Or maybe they were so deep in worship they never noticed me.

I really feel for you because I can really relate to what you are saying. I am just appalled at your experience of going up for prayer and being brushed off. You are right, your questions are ones that each of us need to ask ourselves. I cant judge people as I probably fall short in doing the obvious things that God expects from us. The parable of the sheep and the goats come to mind, I wish we would hear this and other serious teachings of Jesus preached in church and maybe it would bring a change to people's attitudes and behaviour.

 

[Denied]

Check out 1 Cor.12. First century gathering. Today's church doesn't even come close. Pray that God will send u at least one other person that is hungering for a first century gathering, usually in a home.
May I ask you. R u tithing? If you say yes, stop. Paul warned in Gal. If you try to fulfill an old covenant law and fail to keep the other 613 laws, you r placing yourself under a curse. We are under grace. Don't frustrate it.
Stay away from the clerical/ laity construct which is basically every church. It's of the enemy. To learn more about that, check out 'The Ecclesiastical Conspiracy'. A series of audio. This will open your eyes and set you free to be blessed.

 

[bonaventure]

fulltime service is helping d´god and your next. praying and thinking about gods love

 

[Sri]

an answer to your prayers dearie. Rocket Cash Cycler WORKS!!!!! - YouTube

 

[freebiblelessons]

Lol, well I don't think you need Rocket Cash Cycler ^

Perhaps you should really considering going to a different church though. Ultimately going to a church is NOT about meeting our needs but about how we can help to meet the needs of others, but if you (and likely others) are getting brushed off like that then it might be time to take a leap.

 

[FutureAndAHope]

I would like to offer you some encouragement, I have always been a very spiritual person, very dedicated to God. Yet I have been through some of the most hellish experiences emotionally, I can relate to your struggle. I have found that God limits these experiences, when we are going through them we doubt God is even there, or we at lteast doubt that he cares. But in the end you will come out of the bad experiences and come into rich fulfillment. I went through hell for years but now an very blessed. My life on a scale of 1 -10 is a 12. God has also allowed me to be very hurt by many pastors, I have been ignored, almost called a devil, called too passionate, none of my God given visions accepted by the church. Yet in all of these things I have learned that you do not judge others, that you overlook people faults to find the good. Have I been angry, yes, have I thought judgmental thoughts about the church, you bet. But when you go through hell you learn not to treat other people in that way. I always cry out to God, show me my secret faults, keep me back from harming others. Today I have to admit I am sick of many church pastors, I feel let down by them, and don't know how I can ever express my faith without judgment. The last two pastors I experienced judged by outward appearances, making judgments about my character with out even spending time to get to know me. They say "I love you, you are safe with me", yet their actions pull you down, and discredit your faith. I got so sick of people hurting others that I started an online church called Everybody Matters Ministry, with the goal of giving the hurting, and abused part of the church into a safe place, where they could express their faith. I just hope and pray that I don't fall into the same rut, that my past pastors have, hurting people and denying them expression of faith.

 

[Gentle-Heart]

I had similar experiences and understand how you feel. God called me out, healed me of my pain, led me to be ordained and then had me set up a House Church with a healing/deliverance ministry that I'm now Pastor of. I'm appalled at your Pastors behaviour. I feel you need healing from spiritual abuse. Many christians like myself have been hurt and wounded in churches and ministries, and need somewhere safe. We set up a safe place for hurting christians like yourself to be healed, its called House of Hope, a free retreat to rest and be restored. Members of my House Church left abusive churches and now we're happy and blessed serving God together. So you're not alone in your experience but there is hope for better. Trust God to give you what you need and if you want to talk, contact me anytime, I'm willing to listen.