Is it bad to look for a woman?

[p60]

Is it bad to look for a woman?
I am a 20 year old sophmore in college, and I go to a Christian college, and there are a lot of people around me that are hooking up, finding boyfriends, girlfriends, etc.

What I'm wondering is, is this bad? Is it bad for me to look for a girlfriend?
I understand that God doesnt want us to become too obsessed or consumed by anything, even important things, such as women, heheh, so as long as I were to keep this in mind would it be okay (morally appropriate) for me to exert 'some' energy on looking for a girlfriend?

Like in other words, if I was just walking around, meeting girls, getting to know them as friends, (I'm not going to get into a relationship with the first girl I meet, duh)
and then if I found someone who seemed to fit the bill, and I started dating her, would that be okay?
would this be okay to do, provided I wasnt looking too hard?

Note also that I wouldn't ever date someone unless there was at least some eeny weeny little possibility of marriage later on.

 

[mina]

I don't think it's bad to look for a quality person that would be good to spend time with. I do think that guys should pursue a girl that they have carefully considered. Seek friends, then pursue if you have sought God's guidence and direction in prayer. I think careful prayerful consideration of a person you want to be romantically involved in is a good thing. It's ok to go slow, you don't have to be engaged within a week or anything

Also Christian colleges are notorious for the speed relationship thing: Bridal collages. Just remember you don't have to be in the same stage everyone else is, you just have to be where God wants you. Don't get caught up in the dating atmosphere at a Christian college- it can get you down.

mina-I graduated from Bible college single and lived to tell about it!

 

[LifeInYou]

You better be on the look out for a woman, because alot of us are waiting until *you* come to *us*.

 

[Chino]

P60 what you're doing sounds fine. I've been trying that approach myself. But don't let the search for women consume you, and if you get your heart broken it can be really distressing on your life and school work.

 

[vibrant]

her shoulders sink as vibrant contemplates all the things in life which she wants, but doesn't have. yet, despite the apparent endlessness of that list, "i want someone to love" is about the only thing she's able to whisper before Jesus embraces her in his arms.

"vibrant, hon, God knows you need that, and everything left unsaid. seriously, he knows. but, seek first the kingdom of God and all those things will be added unto you."

 

[Katty]

I don't think it's wrong to 'look for a woman', but I think its a bit much if it becomes a sole priority. You have to work on yourself before you expect someone else to be the perfect match for you.

I think sometimes us college students get caught up in the 'wanting so bad for someone to love and to be loved' scene that we forget how to meet people without trying so hard to develop things to another level.

My opinion? Meet girls, make friends, be the guy that she goes to when she cries, when she needs to smile or laugh, when she needs to rant, and when she just needs a friend... be that guy. Relationships with friendship at its core are the best ones... plus you can never go wrong with a person who brings out the best in you and you in turn do the same for her.

But I think in this day and age, the number one thing that should be remembered is exactly what vibrant said:

...seek first the kingdom of God and all those things will be added unto you."

Be right about who are before you go into a relationship with someone else.

~Katty~

 

[fishstix]

It's fine to look for a girlfriend. But don't be looking for a fling. As in, don't start going out with someone if there's only an "eeny weeny little possibility of marriage later on." Don't go out with someone just to have a girlfriend for now. Don't get a girlfriend just because everyone els has one. Don't get a girlfriend just because you think it's about time you had one. Don't start going out with someone who you haven't gotten to know as friends first. Breakups are painful for both parties involved, even if the relationship was just a short one. So take your time and don't rush into things

 

[jenptcfan]

Is it bad to look for a woman?
I am a 20 year old sophmore in college, and I go to a Christian college, and there are a lot of people around me that are hooking up, finding boyfriends, girlfriends, etc.

What I'm wondering is, is this bad? Is it bad for me to look for a girlfriend?
I understand that God doesnt want us to become too obsessed or consumed by anything, even important things, such as women, heheh, so as long as I were to keep this in mind would it be okay (morally appropriate) for me to exert 'some' energy on looking for a girlfriend?

Like in other words, if I was just walking around, meeting girls, getting to know them as friends, (I'm not going to get into a relationship with the first girl I meet, duh)
and then if I found someone who seemed to fit the bill, and I started dating her, would that be okay?
would this be okay to do, provided I wasnt looking too hard?

Note also that I wouldn't ever date someone unless there was at least some eeny weeny little possibility of marriage later on.

I don't think there's anything wrong with what you've described. You will probably never be living in an environment as conducive to finding a mate as you are right now. That doesn't mean that if you don't find a mate while you're in college, you never will (I didn't! hehe), but it's a great environment to get to know people first and find out if they seem compatible before asking them out. Just keep in mind the things you are looking for in a Christian woman, and don't ask out someone who doesn't have those qualities if you don't want to end up with them. (By qualities, I don't mean stuff like hair color--stuff like compassionate, sincere, etc.)

 

[pdrozd]

jenptcfan:
It's acceptable. of course. just be led by the spirit, galgatians -

-pete

 

[Ceris]

Is it bad to look for a woman?
I am a 20 year old sophmore in college, and I go to a Christian college, and there are a lot of people around me that are hooking up, finding boyfriends, girlfriends, etc.

What I'm wondering is, is this bad? Is it bad for me to look for a girlfriend?
I understand that God doesnt want us to become too obsessed or consumed by anything, even important things, such as women, heheh, so as long as I were to keep this in mind would it be okay (morally appropriate) for me to exert 'some' energy on looking for a girlfriend?

Like in other words, if I was just walking around, meeting girls, getting to know them as friends, (I'm not going to get into a relationship with the first girl I meet, duh)
and then if I found someone who seemed to fit the bill, and I started dating her, would that be okay?
would this be okay to do, provided I wasnt looking too hard?

Note also that I wouldn't ever date someone unless there was at least some eeny weeny little possibility of marriage later on.

Based off of how you described it, this is perfectly fine.

 

[smash_kate]

OOh juicy.

"Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give judgement as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy. Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. Are you married? Do not seek divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this."--1 Corinthians 7:25-28

Also read 1 corinthians 7:36-38. "If anyone thinks he is acting improperly toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if she is getting along in years and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. he is not sinning. They should get married. But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin--this man also does the right thing. So then he who marries the virgin does right , but he who does not marry her does better."

If u have respect for biblical teachings...then these will be your answer.

With Love,
Kate

homepage

 

[Tenorvoice]

I belive that the relationship that you need to be seeking with the oppisite sex right now (probl till you finish school anyways just my oppinion) is the PHILEO love that the Bible speaks about and not EROS which is NOT use @ all in scriptues. Phileo is the brotherly love that one needs in any healthy relationship male or female. Eros love is the sexual lusting love that is to be felt between Husband and Wife and is not to be expressed physicaly until marriage.


So as long as you are looking at them as sisters in Christ Jesus and not lusting over them...and WAIT WAIT WAIT ... for Gods timing then He WILL send the right woman to you and you WILL know that she is the one for you because you will just know deep down that you CAN NOT live your life without this woman not just live with.
peace be with you and remeber there are three answers to prayer YES,NO,AND WAIT!

 

[pdrozd]

smash_kate is right. no more needs to be said