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CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.
Is it Autism or BPD
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Ariel
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Hello virakech, welcome to our forums.
I wouldn't know if it is autism or BPD. We are not professional counselors here, we cannot diagnose.
We can however offer our sympathy and prayer. It sounds like you have really been through a rough spell with your son, I am so sorry.
It is good that you are able to cherish him, and at least see some good in all this.
I wouldn't know if it is autism or BPD. We are not professional counselors here, we cannot diagnose.
We can however offer our sympathy and prayer. It sounds like you have really been through a rough spell with your son, I am so sorry.
It is good that you are able to cherish him, and at least see some good in all this.
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madison1101
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I am so sorry you have been put through the emotional wringer. My youngest son did similar in his young adult days, though he was mainly ADD, and addicted to heroin.
I have never in my life heard that BPD is hereditary or genetic. My research in grad school, I have a Masters in Social Work, and my own therapy have taught me that it is a pattern of learned behaviors that can be unlearned. It is an Axis II diagnosis, which means it is not one of the main mental illnesses, but one of the personality disorders, all of which are mainly behavioral in nature.
I have never heard of a correlation between BPD and autism, though they could both exist in one patient. You can Google Borderline Personality Disorder, and learn the diagnostic criterion that therapists use in their offices.
As for parenting a 29 year old with problems, my best suggestion is to back off in giving unsolicited advice. I have three grown children. They grew tired of hearing me act like a know-it-all when they were teenagers. They grew up and moved away. I did my job as their childhood Mom, and they are independent and mostly self-supporting. Unless one of them crosses my boundaries with ill intent, I don't give advice or negative feedback.
This is the hardest part of parenting grown children, especially now that one of them is a mother herself. So often, I am tempted to say "I think........." But, I am reminded of how I felt when my mother forced her opinions on me when I was a young mother, trying to make it with kids, college and a job. I bite my tongue and tell myself to back off. Nobody asked for my opinion.
I now turn my kids over to the Lord. He is better equipped to handle them than I am.
Good luck, and God bless.
Trish
I have never in my life heard that BPD is hereditary or genetic. My research in grad school, I have a Masters in Social Work, and my own therapy have taught me that it is a pattern of learned behaviors that can be unlearned. It is an Axis II diagnosis, which means it is not one of the main mental illnesses, but one of the personality disorders, all of which are mainly behavioral in nature.
I have never heard of a correlation between BPD and autism, though they could both exist in one patient. You can Google Borderline Personality Disorder, and learn the diagnostic criterion that therapists use in their offices.
As for parenting a 29 year old with problems, my best suggestion is to back off in giving unsolicited advice. I have three grown children. They grew tired of hearing me act like a know-it-all when they were teenagers. They grew up and moved away. I did my job as their childhood Mom, and they are independent and mostly self-supporting. Unless one of them crosses my boundaries with ill intent, I don't give advice or negative feedback.
This is the hardest part of parenting grown children, especially now that one of them is a mother herself. So often, I am tempted to say "I think........." But, I am reminded of how I felt when my mother forced her opinions on me when I was a young mother, trying to make it with kids, college and a job. I bite my tongue and tell myself to back off. Nobody asked for my opinion.
I now turn my kids over to the Lord. He is better equipped to handle them than I am.
Good luck, and God bless.
Trish
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Ariel
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I am praying for you virakech. I know this is a tough situation, and it sounds like you just need a friend.
My grown children also challenge me from time to time--and sometimes I also want to help them out, or advise them, or tell them about something. So Madison, thank you for your counsel--I am taking that to heart!
Oh the joy of parenting when you are no longer welcome to parent. In the end I pray and seek the Lord--and sometimes grieve from afar. And I pray. Always, always I pray.
My grown children also challenge me from time to time--and sometimes I also want to help them out, or advise them, or tell them about something. So Madison, thank you for your counsel--I am taking that to heart!
Oh the joy of parenting when you are no longer welcome to parent. In the end I pray and seek the Lord--and sometimes grieve from afar. And I pray. Always, always I pray.
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