I want to pray to God and ask him if he is the one, but I also know I cannot make anyone love me. He is my ex, but I believe he came back into my life recently for a reason. We took time apart (a whole year) to grow and we now have a stronger connection than ever. Recently, after telling me he had to move, I was in absolute devastation because he told me I needed to let go. After praying to God (literally on my hands and knees), asking him to somehow bring him back to me, the next day he decided he was not going to move and he came back. Is this a sign that we are meant to be together, or just a sign he is meant to be in my life? I want to marry him but I wish I knew God's plan now.
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Is he the one?
- Thread starter dancequeen12
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Hieronymus
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I'm inclined to say: Go for it !
But why did he have to move?
And did he come back to you, or just to your neighbourhood?
But why did he have to move?
And did he come back to you, or just to your neighbourhood?
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tdidymas
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You mean ex-bf? You mean the next day after a year gone? There simply isn't much detail in here. How long have you been dating? Is his vision of life compatible with yours? How much do you really know him? I think you should go through Christian counseling, and not just a couple of sessions. I think you should attend a marriage seminar. You need to discuss with him details about what he wants in life (and you to him). You need to talk seriously about what kind of life you want with each other, what plans for children, how to raise them, etc. It seems to me that right now you're in what is called "the ether."
Relationships don't get any better than what it is now - this means that when the dopamines in your brain begin to subside (and they will), the relationship will not give you the ecstacies you feel now. In fact, you might even start feeling depressed, once reality sets in and your brain chemistry loses its highs. Therefore, you need something more tangible to hold on to, once the highs become lows. You need a friendship with him much deeper than what you are feeling right now. You need for God to be top priority in your life, and be assured that God is his top priority also.
So then, #1 - what kind of moral character does he have? If he is trying to get you into bed, then he doesn't respect you, and he won't after you're married, because he is an adulterer. But if he resists that temptation and tells you that he respects you too much to go too far with you, then it is an indication that he values godliness. If he keeps his eyes toward you and away from distracting women, then he values godliness and you. Does he actually lead you to Christian fellowship, prayer, etc?
If you start asking him things on the subject of marriage (even if he hasn't "popped the question"), what is his reaction? Does he answer honestly and confidently, or does he try to change the subject? Does he reciprocate by asking you similar questions? If so, then he is interested in you; otherwise...
I hope this gets you started in your prayerful search.
TD
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5 things to consider to determine if he is the right one according to Dr.Myles Munroe.
1. Does he have a clear self image? Is his self confidence in God alone?
2. Is he in the presence of God?
3. Is he working? Does he love to work?
4. Will he be able to cultivate/bring out the best in you? Can he increase your value?
5. Can he protect you?
1. Does he have a clear self image? Is his self confidence in God alone?
2. Is he in the presence of God?
3. Is he working? Does he love to work?
4. Will he be able to cultivate/bring out the best in you? Can he increase your value?
5. Can he protect you?
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He isn't "the one" until and unless he loves you like you love him. He told you that you need to let him go. Until he says something otherwise, you need to listen and let him go. Do not waste your life waiting for him to change his mind. You can be friends. You can pray. But you need to assume that he isn't your boyfriend and learn to not be so emotionally dependent on having him in your life. Listen to him.
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