Is he interested in me or just being nice?

[SelfProtect]

I've had a crush on this guy a long time. He just got out of a 2 year custody battle for his girl (and won!) so I'm sure he has been too stressed to go out with anyone.

The other day he had a small get together. Here are a couple of things that happened that makes me think he might be interested in me, but then again he could just be being friendly. You make the call.

He wanted to play doubles in pool, so four of us played (me, him against a married couple). We played 2 games and he asked for a 3rd but me and the other girl were just done. He physically helped me with a shot. He sat by me when it was over and we got into a pretty good conversation about our ex's and forgiveness.

Also at first we were kind of running out of seats. I was sitting next to this guy, our chairs were about 1 foot apart. He came and put a chair between us and told me Debra wants to talk to me. When Debra sat down, I said whats up? she didn't have anything to talk to me about.

When I left he gave me a big hug and said thanks for coming. Of course he hugs everyone.

I will see what happens Sunday when I see him again. I just hate going through this week thinking about it and wondering then I may be let down Sunday or I may have misread it all. My mind should be on the Lord and everything else will fall into place. But, its okay to be hopeful and excited about something just not anxious.

Soooooooooo, is he interested in me or just being nice?!

 

[klewlis]

call him. ask him out for coffee. see what happens.

 

[SelfProtect]

klewlis thanks for replying. I can't yet. I need to give it more time to see if he will accept. We're in Bible Study together. I would be too embarrassed if I misread him and he said no. PLUS I would rather him aske ME out! Call me old fashioned, call me a chicken...

 

[SelfProtect]

Another sign!: He kept calling me his "partner" of course thats in pool!

 

[msjones21]

My only advice is to be careful, SelfProtect. Men, especially divorced men with children, tend to be in a hurry to remarry. I'm not saying they all are, but many of them want a mother for their children and someone to be there for them. Men tend to need that comfort a relationship brings after a divorce.

I think it's wonderful you're the old fashioned type. I would also wait and see if he asks you out. You can let a guy know you are willing to accept an invitation to go out in a respectable and mysterious manner. You don't have to be an outright flirt. Just keep doing what you're doing and see where it goes. He sounds like a nice guy so it's hard to decipher if he's focusing his attention on you exclusively or if he's just an all around friendly man. Best of luck to you.

 

[SelfProtect]

Yes, msjones21 this is what I'm leary of "He sounds like a nice guy so it's hard to decipher if he's focusing his attention on you exclusively or if he's just an all around friendly man."

After my horrible marriage plagued with ex's unfaithfulness, I WILL BE VERY careful, hence my name: SelfProtect

Thanks for the advice.

 

[Stanfi]

Self Protect,

I don't know if I can help very much. As as guy, if I behaved the way this fellow has, it would be because I was interested in you. However, as has already been said, and you know. Going slow and watching and being careful is very important. Another thing to look at is since he has been going through a custody battle, is that he probably is emotionally drained, and is vaulnerable. With that being said, this is probably not the best time for him to pursue a relationshp.

 

[secretdawn]

If you remember highschool crushes, you remember the butterflies, anticipation and wondering, and the high you got of the "i think he likes me" feeling...so why don't you enjoy that now, and not worry about the next step...he could like you and not be ready for it, but that doesn't mean there can't be something unspoken there...and saying something could ruin it...I can almost guarentee as long as you make it clear you would say yes if he asked you out and he likes you, he will, and if he doesn't, just say you never even thought of dating, you are just friends, no harm no foul...moreover, no embarrassment...but really where you are at can be fun (albeit, frustrating), so just enjoy it.

 

[SelfProtect]

secretdawn,
Thanks, excellent advise. THATS what I'm going to try and do. I'll post here about my "butterflys" and play it cool in front of him.

mrstace
Thanks for the guys perspective. I am going to take it very slow and just be friends and not push the relationship issue too soon. I think the custody battle maybe the reason he didn't show interest before. I've known him for over a year. Now that the custody battle is behind him he might be ready to move on. We both had similar divorcing experiences and are in a recovering-type bible-study. I think we are on the same wavelength as far bible knowledge AND self-awareness in our own personal journey of recovery based on what we have both shared in class. BUT I'm not naive enough to think I KNOW him or that he is "the one" for me without a long slow process ahead. I will continue to post to sort out the infatuation and reality.

Thanks!

 

[Stanfi]

mrstace
Thanks for the guys perspective. I am going to take it very slow and just be friends and not push the relationship issue too soon. I think the custody battle maybe the reason he didn't show interest before. I've known him for over a year. Now that the custody battle is behind him he might be ready to move on. We both had similar divorcing experiences and are in a recovering-type bible-study. I think we are on the same wavelength as far bible knowledge AND self-awareness in our own personal journey of recovery based on what we have both shared in class. BUT I'm not naive enough to think I KNOW him or that he is "the one" for me without a long slow process ahead. I will continue to post to sort out the infatuation and reality.

Thanks!

SelfProtect,

I would say that your experiences have given you a lot of wisdom as how to handle these sort of things, and what to look for in a person. I have learned that sometimes the infaution kicks in and throws wisdom and common sense right out the door!! Next thing we know we are in a mess.

Praying for you God knows your heart's desire, and I believe that he will supply it in His due time. I do pray that you only recieve God's best!

 

[catch22]

Hmmm....it's hard to say if he's interested or just being friendly. I guess it depends on if he treats you special or if he treats all people that way. Watch for that, and that will give you your answer.

 

[plum]

I'm aching to be old fashioned too, SelfProtect It may be the accepted thing for a girl to ask a guy out, but i'll be darned if I get in the rut of pursuing a guy again. hehe. you're the lucky on in this situation, I'd gather. You're aware of your feelings and you're in the receiving position of two great options: a great friendship with someone you connect with, or the beginnings of a romantic relationship with the same guy.

Pretty awesome blessing there, I say even if it does feel wishy washy. God bless!