Is anyone else embrassed to still be a virgin?

redwngsfan019 · Jun 13, 2010

leothelioness said:
I have the opposite fear; that I'll meet someone who will be turned off by the fact that I'm sexually inexperienced.

Trust me, as a guy thats a huge +. When / if I get a GF I prefer her to still be a virgin. and not think about her in bed with another guy. I don't know any guy that would say "man I wish she wasn't a virgin"

edit: But if she isn't thats ok.

leothelioness · Jun 13, 2010

broken_one said:
Going to be a bit frank here.....all you really have to do is lie down.

Yeah.

Leave the adequacy issues to us men, who worry about these things (ironically not me....one of the few things an anxiety disorder does is make you worry about other things. I have a 3-month reprieve ) more than it is healthy to do so.

Well, it's not like I don't know how sex goes. I've just never done it.

Apollo Celestio · Jun 13, 2010

leothelioness said:
I have the opposite fear; that I'll meet someone who will be turned off by the fact that I'm sexually inexperienced.

I think only man harlots care if girls are virgins or not.

penNpaper · Jun 13, 2010

Janetlove said:
I'm 28 and I have to be honest, there are times when I'm embrassed to still be a virgin at this age. I know that according to the bible I'm doing what's right by waiting for marriage, but what if I never get married. The thought of dying a virgin bothers me!! Does anyone else feel this way?

No one should be embarrassed because they are still a capital V still. I've been through the whole "I'm still a Virgin, what if I'm always going to be a Virgin, what will people think of me, and so on".

First I want to encourage my Sister in Christ and say that you came on a long journey to stay pure in Christ

Secondly, you ain't the first Believer with these thoughts nor shall you be the last.

Thirdly, the whole "what if" will just drive you nuts over time. Because if you are so worried you still be an virgin by 30, 40, 50, 60 then your going to make a decision in youth to "experience" something that you aren't ready for yet in the right setting. Stay positive, have faith in the Lord, for He is your Match Maker. He shall provide your needs and desires. He isn't in Heaven saying "my oh my Janetlove is single and lonely...I didn't knew this" He is in the boat always and in any season!!

Fourthly, have I thought of the concept of dying and still being a virgin...yes I have. Everyone wants to be loved, connected with, and experiences the joys of life and what the Lord has made

But saying that...whether I'm single at 30, 40, 50, 60 or married within 5-10 years...I'm going to serve the Lord with all of my heart, spirit, and soul. For He knows my thoughts, desires, needs, and future.

He knows my future wifey and He is getting me ready for a bright future ahead. This I believe for everyone...He is preparing each one of us whether be single or married...He has a special plan for us all.

He isn't shocked we are still Single and whether or not we are still Single 50 years from now...doesn't matter...for He is Lord...He will Provide for your needs sister!! And I believe this too He has someone special for each one of us for He is a loving Heavenly Father!!

Sister in Christ...be of good cheer for He knows you...and wants only good things for your life...and He wants to give you the best...not second rate!! Don't ever surrender to "second best" for He wants to give you a bright future, hope, peace, and the BEST for you

God Bless,
Drew

broken_one · Jun 13, 2010

leothelioness said:
Well, it's not like I don't know how sex goes. I've just never done it.

Well, I'm glad to provide to your demystification/de-nervousification process.

It's really not as big as it's made out to be sometimes.

leothelioness · Jun 13, 2010

Ishida said:
I think only man harlots care if girls are virgins or not.

That's probably true. I can think of one right off the top of my head, actually.

LadyL · Jun 13, 2010

No, and I don't think it's anything to be embarrassed about.

CrystalBrooke · Jun 13, 2010

broken_one said:
Going to be a bit frank here.....all you really have to do is lie down.

That's not true. I've heard far too many times a guy friend complain because the girl he's sleeping with just lays there..and I don't blame him..how boring. There's work to be put into it by both sides...no matter who's lying down. That said, if a girl is inexperienced, that's different, and I don't think a guy would mind that...especially if that guy is your new husband. You can learn things together

CrusaderKing · Jun 13, 2010

CrystalBrooke said:
That's not true. I've heard far too many times a guy friend complain because the girl he's sleeping with just lays there..and I don't blame him..how boring.

You just hit the nail on the head. That is boring.

white dove · Jun 13, 2010

It's probably been said before but... even if someone is sexually experienced that does not mean they are a sexual dynamo. Seriously. So please, don't think that sexually experienced future spouses will judge you like that. And if they do? They're extremely immature and have no idea what love is all about. Anybody worth your time will be patient and enjoy learning about you, learning with you and helping you learn, too.

I agree with those who've said to own your sexuality. You can be proud of it internally because maintaining virginity can be very difficult. It says a lot about your self-control and of your own morals or beliefs. When I was a virgin, I was actually quite proud of it even though I did not shout it from the rooftops. I owned it. It was mine and I didn't want to give that up to just anybody. I didn't really feel pressured by others because they had quite literally nothing to do with my sexuality. It wasn't theirs and it still isn't.

white dove · Jun 13, 2010

broken_one said:
Going to be a bit frank here.....all you really have to do is lie down.

I love you dude, but... BOOO!

leothelioness · Jun 13, 2010

Just a random thought, but for a lot of people losing one's virginity is akin to officially stepping into adulthood. Retaining one's virgin status is like holding onto childhood.

Apollo Celestio · Jun 13, 2010

Sex is just something to do these days, and immature kids have joined the ranks.

broken_one · Jun 13, 2010

white dove said:
I love you dude, but... BOOO!

Lol.

The example served its use though, I'm pretty sure.

MacFall · Jun 13, 2010

Marycita said:
Keri said:

This is my biggest fear. Meeting a wonderful man, him finding out about my past then wanting nothing to do with me...

Click to expand...

then you will not have met a wonderful man.

This times 9001.

MacFall · Jun 13, 2010

leothelioness said:
Yes. All the time.

On the flip side, I don't get how people are embarrassed to NOT be virgins. Like, really? Come on.

It is very understandable for a person who accepts a standard of fidelity and then fails to meet it to be embarrassed by their failure. However, I think people just put way too much value on that particular failure. I mean, if someone resolves to always be truthful and then goes and tells a lie, I doubt they would feel as ashamed as they would if it were related to sex. But to God, it's pretty much all the same. Either you're forgiven, or you're not. And if you are, embarrassment over past failure is superfluous at best; harmful at worst. Part of repentance is moving on.

stan1472 · Jun 13, 2010

It's good to be a virgin AND not give in to self-pleasure, but it's not really a positive thing to say you're a virgin and do everything but sex.

Sketcher · Jun 13, 2010

leothelioness said:
Just a random thought, but for a lot of people losing one's virginity is akin to officially stepping into adulthood. Retaining one's virgin status is like holding onto childhood.

Don't be one of those people.

Yeah, it can feel like that, but being an adult means being responsible and taking responsibility. Sex outside of marriage, especially casual sex is inherently irresponsible. It's not really responsible until you're ready to start making babies, and marriage is the best environment for doing that. It's not responsible for me unless I am ready to commit to staying with a woman for life and taking care of her and the children we have together. It's not responsible for women unless they've got someone locked down to do that for them.

Spirit_Star · Jun 13, 2010

Honestly I dont have a problem with it. Lets face it there are so many people that do not wait and that is their choice but I think it says something if one does wait. I dont mean people who get married in their late teen / very early 20s, though that is great. I give big props to people who are older (late 20s+) and wait I talked to a lady who got married at 35 and she saved herself for her wedding night and was not ashamed of that. If someone is a virgin that is the business of that person and if they are in a committed relationship with someone, that person, no one elses.

If one dies a virgin well when they cross over into the spirit world/heaven they arent going to care.

Schneiderman · Jun 14, 2010

leothelioness said:
Just a random thought, but for a lot of people losing one's virginity is akin to officially stepping into adulthood. Retaining one's virgin status is like holding onto childhood.

And in my opinion the people who think like that are the ones who hold onto childhood the longest.

"Look at how grown up I am, I do grown up things!"
I see little kids trying to do adult things all the time. Sex is really not any different in some cases.

Being a virgin doesn't bother me because for me it's just the right thing. However, I live in a world where sex is the top priority and I'm surrounded by people who engage in casual sex and it's the basis for 80% of conversation... so when it comes up I just keep as quiet as I can, smile and nod, I don't feel like explaining myself to people who won't understand.

Is anyone else embrassed to still be a virgin?

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Deal with it.

Keep on moving

Fear is but something to be overcome.

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I'm almost positive I don't care what you think

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(she's a) maniac

(she's a) maniac

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Deal with it.

Fear is but something to be overcome.

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