B
brokenchains
Guest
simplified edit of original post below -
i was an object of temptation, we both sinned but made moves towards ceasing it, but now that he doesnt seem tempted, feel a sense of rejection. i feel glad he's no longer struggling but also fear he just transferred it to someone else. if he did, i feel bad because then he hasn't reallly resolved it, and i also feel unattractive and rejected now because his attraction to me has been (or was?) so intense.
please don't judge, i just need support and encouragement.
(details below)
i need help. i believe i have been involved with someone with a sexual compulsion. he is a believer but not one that is solid in his walk yet. he is a friend i have known for several yrs. however, for the past year, we have gotten to know each other more, realized we were always attracted to eachtother, but also been tempted to sexually compromise with each other, soemtimes fought it but mostly given in, with an ongoing intense attraction to me. i have been stronger than him and have constantly prayed for strength specially when it seemed to become more of a real issue for him than just the average attraction and temptation. we decided to be distant for awhile to help him have space from me as a source of temptation that seemed to become an addiction for him. it helped.
once, he caved in on contacting me. we did not see eachother but we had phone sex, simply because we happened to both be week and ithad been a while since we gave in. shortly after that, we saw each other but were able to avoid doing anything sexual, but he then became very irritable. since then, from our last contact, he was not as irritable but mentions he has had low energy overall, but also mentioned things that make it seem that he lost his attraction to me, so i now hope that perhaps he has not just transferred the temptation to someone else, specially an unbeliever that would not hesitate to do anything.
it might just be for the best if he isn't, and i really cant confirm because i don't want to and our relationship is not headed towards a committed relationship at this point. (i have dealt with that side of my emotions about it.) but if he just transferred it to someone else, it's not good at all. but God has helped me see things from His eyes, having a sense of concern for his wellbeing above my own needs and just see that he is a man who is imperfect, and is struggling in bondage, instead of a man who needs to explain himself to me.
i continue to pray for him, but there is also a part of me that needs healing. i feel a horrible sense of rejection. i know its from the devil. but yet i feel it. somehow, its not very spiritual, but i would have preferred the letting go of the intimacy and relationship we had, with him still strongly attracted to me and he gained spiritual strength to over come it. after our last conversation, for the first time, it seemed that he was repulsed by me. he said that it only seemed that way as a way to avoid giving in. but he said it was not for spiritual reasons. thats why i have this thought that he just lost interest because there might be someone else, because by comparison to how he used to avoid giving in before, it was different, more detached. maybe he is depressed and it has nothing to do with a new girl or me. but i just don't know.
i know i just need to focus on the way God sees him. but it's not easy. the odd thing is i prayed for him to lose interest in me in that way if it was not good for his soul a while back. because i truly do want whats best for him, although i wish it would work out with him. he has no idea how else i have let go of things and died to myself because of my love for him. i have always felt a sense of purpose in us being connected, but not like this. and right now, i'm just struggling with a sense of loss and rejection.
please pray for me. i feel horrible. i have repented for the compromise and i do not intend on doing this with another man. in fact he has been the only one since i became celibate. it just feels bad becasue i don't know if he's strong enough to walk away from me but not to another woman and repeat the cycle all over again. it hurts emotionally but on a deeper level, spiritually because i care about him so much. all i can do is just submit him to God. i have peace in that, but also this nagging feeling of rejection.
please no comments about how i deserve this because i decided to compromise in the first place, and no preaching. i know that i made a mistake and it has beena process to come ot know God's grace through this. i just need support.
i was an object of temptation, we both sinned but made moves towards ceasing it, but now that he doesnt seem tempted, feel a sense of rejection. i feel glad he's no longer struggling but also fear he just transferred it to someone else. if he did, i feel bad because then he hasn't reallly resolved it, and i also feel unattractive and rejected now because his attraction to me has been (or was?) so intense.
please don't judge, i just need support and encouragement.
(details below)
i need help. i believe i have been involved with someone with a sexual compulsion. he is a believer but not one that is solid in his walk yet. he is a friend i have known for several yrs. however, for the past year, we have gotten to know each other more, realized we were always attracted to eachtother, but also been tempted to sexually compromise with each other, soemtimes fought it but mostly given in, with an ongoing intense attraction to me. i have been stronger than him and have constantly prayed for strength specially when it seemed to become more of a real issue for him than just the average attraction and temptation. we decided to be distant for awhile to help him have space from me as a source of temptation that seemed to become an addiction for him. it helped.
once, he caved in on contacting me. we did not see eachother but we had phone sex, simply because we happened to both be week and ithad been a while since we gave in. shortly after that, we saw each other but were able to avoid doing anything sexual, but he then became very irritable. since then, from our last contact, he was not as irritable but mentions he has had low energy overall, but also mentioned things that make it seem that he lost his attraction to me, so i now hope that perhaps he has not just transferred the temptation to someone else, specially an unbeliever that would not hesitate to do anything.
it might just be for the best if he isn't, and i really cant confirm because i don't want to and our relationship is not headed towards a committed relationship at this point. (i have dealt with that side of my emotions about it.) but if he just transferred it to someone else, it's not good at all. but God has helped me see things from His eyes, having a sense of concern for his wellbeing above my own needs and just see that he is a man who is imperfect, and is struggling in bondage, instead of a man who needs to explain himself to me.
i continue to pray for him, but there is also a part of me that needs healing. i feel a horrible sense of rejection. i know its from the devil. but yet i feel it. somehow, its not very spiritual, but i would have preferred the letting go of the intimacy and relationship we had, with him still strongly attracted to me and he gained spiritual strength to over come it. after our last conversation, for the first time, it seemed that he was repulsed by me. he said that it only seemed that way as a way to avoid giving in. but he said it was not for spiritual reasons. thats why i have this thought that he just lost interest because there might be someone else, because by comparison to how he used to avoid giving in before, it was different, more detached. maybe he is depressed and it has nothing to do with a new girl or me. but i just don't know.
i know i just need to focus on the way God sees him. but it's not easy. the odd thing is i prayed for him to lose interest in me in that way if it was not good for his soul a while back. because i truly do want whats best for him, although i wish it would work out with him. he has no idea how else i have let go of things and died to myself because of my love for him. i have always felt a sense of purpose in us being connected, but not like this. and right now, i'm just struggling with a sense of loss and rejection.
please pray for me. i feel horrible. i have repented for the compromise and i do not intend on doing this with another man. in fact he has been the only one since i became celibate. it just feels bad becasue i don't know if he's strong enough to walk away from me but not to another woman and repeat the cycle all over again. it hurts emotionally but on a deeper level, spiritually because i care about him so much. all i can do is just submit him to God. i have peace in that, but also this nagging feeling of rejection.
please no comments about how i deserve this because i decided to compromise in the first place, and no preaching. i know that i made a mistake and it has beena process to come ot know God's grace through this. i just need support.
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