introvert/socially awkward no need to apply/come?

DragonFox91 said:

As an introvert, I can relate. I definitely agree groups that claim they're inclusive & want new people can do a poor job of actually trying to welcome new people, especially if they're just a tiny bit different. Do you make an effort to try to fit in? I've gone to church groups in the past where I've made the effort & people still weren't receptive to me, but you need to at least try. Are there other people who may be introverted or socially awkward you could try w/? I've found organizers/leaders tend to be pretty welcome (usually they're a bit older & more mature) so am surprised you were running into struggles w/ them?

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angelsaroundme said:

Christian or secular, most can't relate. I don't know how severe you are but I've been made to feel like an alien at times. People are rarely taught to understand or show compassion to those who struggle socially. Moses could be used as a reference point. But instead of the Biblical Moses with a speech difficulty, Hollywood popularized the Charlton Heston version.

Virtual church is an option. An increasing number are doing that or listening to sermons on Youtube. If you feel led to keep trying with a regular church I suggest some kind of volunteer work. For an introvert that can be intimidating, especially if it involves a lot of people. It would show them who you are though. Plus it would be a good deed.

Whatever your choice is, I sympathize with what you are going through. I hope you can forgive those that were rude. We all make mistakes and it is better not to hold on to the past.

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Sketcher said:

You're dealing with people that are socialized in a certain way and who have trouble relating to you. They're not heroes who can pick up on your needs and the way you need them met, and provide them for you all the time. Also, if they don't see a certain level of social openness from someone, they might give up hope of being able to relate to that person. I've been on both sides of this. I've been on the outside looking in, and I've also been personally drained by people who did not listen, did not have any sense of what was appropriate to say, and who did not bother to do common sense things that are normally expected of people. I'm not that guy who will actively give that person a hard time, but I do see the openings for that and I try to gently help instead - but not everyone responds and learns, and that can be exasperating.

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After God's Heart said:

We have to be careful of clinging to labels and personality traits how our experiences have 'always been', especially if the end result is carrying this anger in your heart. Who does Christ say we are? The fears or anxieties you may struggle with in social situations, those are things you can take to God.

Matthew 11:28-30
28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”



Colossians 3:8-14
8 But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. 9 Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. 11 Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all.
12 Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.


I pray that you may make your way to a faithful biblically-grounded body of believers, Christian fellowship is truly so valuable in a world that is at odds with God. Getting into smaller groups and bible studies is a great opportunity to ask your brothers and sisters how you can better pray for them- I've found that particular question can lead to some incredibly edifying conversation.

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Miles said:

In my experience, church people have often known each other since childhood, and can be unintentionally insular. That's a hard nut to crack, especially for an introvert who happens to be single. From the start, you're dealing with at least four challenges. 1 - You're a stranger. They don't know your personality, they don't know your likes and dislikes, whether you're trustworthy, or how to treat you. 2 - You don't know much about them. 3 - As an introvert, you may not want to draw much attention to yourself. 4 - The women might think you're going to hit on them, and the single men might think you'll try to steal their women (or the women that they have crushes on).

Social awkwardness isn't quite the same as being introverted. There doesn't seem to be a consensus, but any equate it to a lack of social skills. Although I have no idea of how socially skilled you are, lacking in that area might make things more awkward than they need to be. Possibly a 5th challenge, in addition to the other three. Thankfully, social skills can be learned.



I misread your post as "Oh, the cantankery!"

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