Infidelity and Bipolar

[4givenme]

So I am just coming down from a manic episode, and am cleaning up the mess as this one was a doozy...

Does anyone else have a issue with infidelity when they are manic?? when I am manic I find any and every man so very attractive and I want to interact with them all, I will go on dating sites and meet them, I am so hyper sexual and feel like I am on top of the world I also feel I attract them as well. I am also in a 5 year relationship with someone.

This has happened a few years ago as well and I was even prepared to move states to be with this person, its just bizarre. And when I am better I realize how stupid it all was and how much I hurt my relationship with my boyfriend.

Everything I do goes against everything I believe in, "I don't cheat" its not what I do, yet I do it..again and again, but only when I am manic, and the sad thing is I cant promise it wont happen again

Does anyone else deal with this issue?

 

[Stephanie2381]

Hello, I myself am BP II, and have not went all the way during a cheat, but I too found men other than my spouse that I wanted to interact with and especially when they paid me attention it was even more of a rush...I dont realize until later how stupid or how far it could have gone if I had not had such a guilty conscience and open with my spouse. He knows about all of them, and he had a really hard time the first couple times, but try my best to keep my distance from old male friends and stay away from bars, etc where I could meet any new ones! Sounds like you have supportive BF and I hope that you really do, after all its the illness that makes you act that way and not YOU

God Bless! Stephanie

 

[NewCovenant]

This was a serious issue for me early in my disease. (I was diagnosed 20years ago.) I went from one relationship to the next without thought to whom I was hurting. This did not stop when I was married. If I was manic, I was in huntress mode. It was about 4 years after I was diagnosed that I met Jesus Christ and was confronted with my sin. I still fell away every now and then, and purity was and always has been a struggle for me, but there was a huge improvement after I was saved. I thank God every day for dragging me out of the cesspool that was my life.

 

[Christownsme]

One common symptom of bipolar disorder is hypersexuality. I am constantly dealing with that, and struggle to know how to handle my own sexuality before my God. I guess that's another thing I need to ask Him about. I struggle with all the lust a guy could have, including porn. It's very difficult to know how to handle the pressures. Crazy thing is, when I was on Seroquel, I didn't have this problem as terribly. But something in me didn't like Seroquel, and Abilify now brings out a wilder side of me.

 

[Stephanie2381]

I have never actually had a "normal" sex drive -- ever! Its not sex that I wanted, I loved the attention these guys would give me it was such a rush! I was always very flirty, but never one to "rack up my numbers" in high school or anything, as I knew when I got married I did not want to have lots of guys under my belt. I have been on an anti-depressant since 15 1/2 and dont remember ever being really that into sex. The meds have always given me low libido, even with my spouse, once a week is usually all he gets poor guy!!

 

[4givenme]

You all DO know what I mean then!!! Stephanie2381 you are right, It may not be about the sex but about the "rush" and the attention...and the butterflies I get every time I interact with the "other" person coupled with the mania is indescribable... BUT, its not me, its not who I am, I'm a Christian and I dont believe in this. Medications have no variance whatsoever on this at all.

NewCovenent, you described it perfectly by using the word "huntress"

Thank you for your support, just have to figure out how not to do it again.

 

[NewCovenant]

Hypersexuality is one of those things that we all have to struggle with as BPers. Sometimes medication helps, sometimes not. Accountability to the Lord is ultimately the only solution.

 

[Stephanie2381]

Like I mentioned earlier, we have to keep thinking about ways to NOT put ourselves in that situation at all, such as keeping away from men friends, bars, anything that would trigger the "huntress" My first "hunt" actually happened during a bachelorette party! We went to a hotel which had a bar, there was a guy there my age, and he talked to me, bought me drinks, danced with me, and basicallly I ignored the bachelorette party and girls I was with and wanted to only interact with this guy! Totally insane! I actually lied to my spouse so that I could spend the night at the hotel with the girls, so that I could stay out in the hallway and talk to this guy for hours! I had so much guilt and hubby had no idea! That made me feel worse, I owned up to what I had done (no sex or kissing, etc) to hubby when we watched a movie about infidelity! Hubby commented on the movie and I just felt so guilty I had to tell him -- he was hurt and I had no idea at the time that it was the BP doing it as I had only been diagnosed with depression at that point -- reading these forums makes me understand my actions, and shows me that I must avoid situations and people that would cause me to want to stray. I totally love my husband and we have great relationship, best friends, and I am thankful that he did not bail on me after I told him...some men would and do. It took a while for him to totally trust me again and I figured he had that right, now when I am on the computer or if I am late home, he will ask me in a playful way if I am meeting up with my boyfriend. It is a good thing we can joke about it, but it is embarassing thing because that is not who I am -- never cheated on anyone ever. What an insane side effect of the illness!!

Prayers for strength ladies/gents and may we keep our "huntress" to our spouse/partners only! With Gods strength and guidance we can! AMEN!

God Bless -- Stephanie