You can just lay there sometimes, and feel. Feel the hurt and loneliness and pain that encompasses you...laying next to a phone that doesn't ring, checking a mailbox that doesn't receive mail, remembering people you've loved but who have not loved back..
And then you try, feebly, to fight. To fight the hurt you feel, to press forward despite the pain in your heart. But sometimes feeling conquers, when you don't want it to. When you let it. Sometimes, hurting, tired, you give in to the sense of comfort that is offered, or into the hurt that has pressed itself so keenly on your heart....and then are left with the stain of your submission to a comfort that only made the hurt more intense.
So then, what do you do? What do you do when you are sitting there, alone? When you're needing a friend in this darkness more than you ever did in your light. When you are afraid and scared and yet so unsure how to express such feelings within? What do you do, when a thousand temptations to escape the pain present themself before you, but in the end you know it just hurts more in the end to yield to them than the wound did to begin with..
What do you do, when no earthly friend rings? When your enemies seek your hurt more than your good, when they smile at your tears? What do you do?
Sometimes, I pray. Sometimes I remember to turn to a friend that is closer to me than any brother. I turn to one who knows all my faults, all my mistakes, and all the times when I have turned to the ugliness of sin to find comfort, but still cares for me anyways.
I turn to Him, with the hurt. I turn to Him, with the pain. I turn to Him, when I can't trust anyone else. And I find He listens. I find He gives hope, hope no one else could. I find a friend, a friend that didn't have to ring, or come to me, because He was there for me all along.
And then you try, feebly, to fight. To fight the hurt you feel, to press forward despite the pain in your heart. But sometimes feeling conquers, when you don't want it to. When you let it. Sometimes, hurting, tired, you give in to the sense of comfort that is offered, or into the hurt that has pressed itself so keenly on your heart....and then are left with the stain of your submission to a comfort that only made the hurt more intense.
So then, what do you do? What do you do when you are sitting there, alone? When you're needing a friend in this darkness more than you ever did in your light. When you are afraid and scared and yet so unsure how to express such feelings within? What do you do, when a thousand temptations to escape the pain present themself before you, but in the end you know it just hurts more in the end to yield to them than the wound did to begin with..
What do you do, when no earthly friend rings? When your enemies seek your hurt more than your good, when they smile at your tears? What do you do?
Sometimes, I pray. Sometimes I remember to turn to a friend that is closer to me than any brother. I turn to one who knows all my faults, all my mistakes, and all the times when I have turned to the ugliness of sin to find comfort, but still cares for me anyways.
I turn to Him, with the hurt. I turn to Him, with the pain. I turn to Him, when I can't trust anyone else. And I find He listens. I find He gives hope, hope no one else could. I find a friend, a friend that didn't have to ring, or come to me, because He was there for me all along.
