Notes On Psalm 31 by Lee
1. In thee, O Jehovah, do I take refuge; Let me never be put to shame: Deliver me in thy righteousness.
I sought comfort in the Lord. I was completely confounded as to how in the world did I wind up in such a place! The âfish tankâ was one cell block with twenty-six cells. Thirteen up and thirteen down. Why thirteen, I donât know, maybe some kind of a joke, I guess. I, with 25 other men, was locked down for 23 hours a day. The meals were brought by trustees from the kitchen and shoved through the slot in the door, and we were let out for one hour each day to shower and to clean up our cells. Some interacton could go on at this time between prisoners. I knew some of them from the jail I was in before coming to the prison. The talk ranged from âI didnât do itâ to âIâve been down this road before.â There were a couple of men there who were doing what I was; trying to find some kind of answers by reading the Bible. I would spend 99% of my time reading the scriptures. The Psalms had my full attention! Especially the ones that dealt with being persecuted and in trouble. David had plenty of that and I could relate to many of his pleas to God.
2. Bow down thine ear unto me; Deliver me speedily: Be thou to me a strong rock, A house of defence to save me.
God was speaking to me through His Word by the Holy Spirit. He was hearing my cries and a comfort would come over me as I read the words in the scriptures. He was quick to give me the strength I needed to bear up through the on-going torment I was experiencing caused by my incarceration and the reasons that I was there. Satan kept telling me that God would not do anything for me and that I was too far gone for any hope of salvation, even thrugh the bld f Jesus Christ, but each day a new blessing would come to me. I was gining understanding about myself as well as Godâs plan for me. I was amazed at hw much peace I felt even with the longing for my wife and children and the life that I had ruined by my idiotic, insane behaviors.
3. For thou art my rock and my fortress; Therefore for thy name's sake lead me and guide me.
God was becoming my strength and my place of refuge. I was becoming more and more dependent upon His Word as a guiding force in my life. I knew from the Word what I should be doing with my time in prison and with the rest of my life. I was going to continue studying His Word even to the point of maybe becoming a minister and dedicating my life to Him. The prison chaplain, Len, would come around to the new prisoners and invite them to come to Bible study. It meant an extra hour out of the cell and it would also mean that I could get some questions answered that I had accumulated from unsupervised study. I looked forward to those Bible studies and the hour would fly by as I tried to take in everything I coud concerning Godâs Word.
4. Pluck me out of the net that they have laid privily for me; For thou art my stronghold.
There were some who wished me harm at this time. It hadnât been very long ago that I was sentenced and there were still those who wanted the worst for me. They wanted me to suffer as much as possible for the things I had done to them. My ex-wife had a lot of venom in her heart, and rightly so. My family, for the most part, decided that I was no longer even alive. I had never been so alone in my life! The strength that I found in Godâs Word and the ever presence of the Holy Spirit gave me the help I needed to hold on to what sanity I still had left.
5. Into thy hand I commend my spirit: Thou hast redeemed me, O Jehovah, thou God of truth.
I decided that I needed to fully accept Jesus as my Savior and Lord! At the Bible studies, I learned that it was not enough to decide to be a good guy for the rest of my life. It was necessary to as Jesus to come into my heart. I said the âsinners prayerâ with others during one of the Bible studies and I could feel the Holy Spirit endwell my being with a warm glow and, upon leaving to go back to my cell, I looked at everything from that time on in a completely different light! I had been redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christ,and the one true God had accepted me as one of His children! I had been adopted by My Holy Father and He saw me as He sees His Son, pure and chaste and without blemish! I was still locked up. The walls didnât come down as they had done for Peter and Paul, but the walls no longer held me in. I was totally free and at the same time in prison! Only the true God, the Son and the Holy Spirit can have this power! I went back to my cell and I wept for the pure joy of all that had happened.
6. I hate them that regard lying vanities; But I trust in Jehovah.
There were those who said that I was under some kind of spell. They said that after a little while I would get back to reality and see that there really is no God and I was only fooling myself to think that some god could help me. The more they talked, the more I trusted in my Lord! I knew that after I had been re-born, that Satan would try his best to get me to renounce God and go on with my pathetic old life, thinking only of myself and my personal wants an desires. This gave me the evidence I needed to stand steadfast with my decision. Since Satan was trying so hard to change my mind, there must be a lot to this re-birth thing!! My resolve to follow my Lord grew stronger.
7. I will be glad and rejoice in thy lovingkindness; For thou hast seen my affliction: Thou hast known my soul in adversities;
8. And thou hast not shut me up into the hand of the enemy; Thou hast set my feet in a large place.
The joy that I felt was unfathomable! I again felt that I really was worth something and not just something to be thrown away! God knew me. He was there every step of the way from my arrest to the time I spent in jail; to my sentencing, my divorce and my transfer to prison. I was free, as I have said, and there was no turning back now. More blessings began to come to me. I had gootten some books from the small library in the cell block. Most of them were paperbacks and some even were of a Christian nature. This gave me even more backround and information that I was hungering for. Things couldnât have been going better concidering that I was still in prison and awaiting assignment to one of the yards. The choices were maximum, minimum and trustee. I prayed that God would have them pit me where I could get the most spiritual growth.
9. Have mercy upon me, O Jehovah, for I am in distress: Mine eye wasteth away with grief, yea, my soul and my body.
10. For my life is spent with sorrow, And my years with sighing: My strength faileth because of mine iniquity, And my bones are wasted away.
11. Because of all mine adversaries I am become a reproach, Yea, unto my neighbors exceedingly, And a fear to mine acquaintance: They that did see me without fled from me.
12. I am forgotten as a dead man out of mind: I am like a broken vessel.
13. For I have heard the defaming of many, Terror on every side: While they took counsel together against me, they devised to take away my life.
14. But I trusted in thee, O Jehovah: I said, Thou art my God.
15. My times are in thy hand: Deliver me from the hand of mine enemies, and from them that persecute me.
16. Make thy face to shine upon thy servant: Save me in thy lovingkindness.
17. Let me not be put to shame, O Jehovah; For I have called upon thee: Let the wicked be put to shame, let them be silent in Sheol.
18. Let the lying lips be dumb, Which speak against the righteous insolently, With pride and contempt.
The day came that I would be transferred to a yard. I was both afraid and elated that I would be getting out of the âfish tankâ and out to a place that I could find some kind of work in the prison and have more room to go for walks and get some fresh air. I had grown comfortable in that six by eight cell. It was a place of safety in an unsafe enviornment and now I was going to have to adjust. The Trustee division was out of the question and I thought that if I could get to the minimum yard I could be transferred to the Trustee department quiker that if I were to go to the Maximum yard. The Maximum yard held untold dangers because of the type of people who were living there. Murderers,rapists of both women and men,child molesters,sodomists,strong arm robbers and professional criminals who could not be trusted. Some of them had to be tranquilized just so they could make it to the mess hall without killing anybody!
So, it seems that the minimum was full and we in the âfish tankâ had to be moved out to make room for the new prisoners who were coming in. The Maximum yard had plenty of open cells. I was crushed! What in the world would I do now?
The main thing wrong with the way I had approached the upcoming transfer was that I had thought the whole thing out in my own mind and that God would just naturally g along with what I thought would be the best curse for me to take. Wrong! God had a better plan for me than I could ever have.
Arriving on the Max Yard was everything I imagined it would be. The eyes staring at you, the people who had been living in the cell block where you were assigned looked at you as if you had just killed their mother even though they already had. It was not a friendly place! I put my things in order in my new cell and by the time I had finished, it was time to go eat. I got my food and sat by myself. After eating, I returned to my new cell and locked the door behind me. I wanted it all to go away! I could hear the voices outside my cell talking about me and what they thought of the ânew guyâ. They were speculating a to what I done to get in prison and if I wa even worth letting live until breakfast. I shut off the light, laid down on my cement slab and prayed for all I was worth.
With the morning, I was still alive and after a night of prayer and talking to God, I was ready to face the first full day on the Max yard. I was refreshed and full of the strength of God as I went to breakfast and then to my knew job in the education department as a teaching assistant in the G.E.D. section. As it happened in the âfish tankâ it happened in the Max yard. My faith and resolve both grew and I began my studies again in ernest.
19. Oh how great is thy goodness, Which thou hast laid up for them that fear thee, Which thou hast wrought for them that take refuge in thee, Before the sons of men!
20. In the covert of thy presence wilt thou hide them from the plottings of man: Thou wilt keep them secretly in a pavilion from the strife of tongues.
21. Blessed be Jehovah; For he hath showed me his marvellous lovingkindness in a strong city.
22. As for me, I said in my haste, I am cut off from before thine eyes: Nevertheless thou heardest the voice of my supplications When I cried unto thee.
23. Oh love Jehovah, all ye his saints: Jehovah preserveth the faithful, And plentifully rewardeth him that dealeth proudly.
24. Be strong, and let your heart take courage, All ye that hope in Jehovah.
The blessing came pouring in! First, I began to go to the Bible studies on the Max yard. They were of more depth than the studies in the âtankâ and I learned so much more. Second, I received some money that was being held for by the life insurance company that I subscribed to while I was in the Army. It was a little over $2,000.00! A small fortune for someone in prison. It came right after I was told about a coresponcence course that I could take to get my masters in theology. It would cost $500.00 and I had n idea where I would get the money. God knew where the money was! Third, there were fellow Christians on the yard who had study books that I could purchase to use and build my library. Forth, I became very comfortable in the Max yard and soon I was spending my time studying and teaching. In nine months I had finished the course of study that would lead to me getting the degree. It was almost record time for the completion of the course, but I had the time to work on itâ¦I felt like a monk in a monestary coping Bible verses with a feather pen on parchment. It was the perfect place to be to get the job done. Fifth, I was transferred to the Trustee department and worked in the warehouse. I continued to study and work on my thesis. It was on the miracles of Jesus. I am a miracle of Jesus! Sixth, after five months in Trustee, I was paroled! Upon getting out, I had my thesis printed and sent it in. In two weeks I received my official degree in theology!
1. In thee, O Jehovah, do I take refuge; Let me never be put to shame: Deliver me in thy righteousness.
I sought comfort in the Lord. I was completely confounded as to how in the world did I wind up in such a place! The âfish tankâ was one cell block with twenty-six cells. Thirteen up and thirteen down. Why thirteen, I donât know, maybe some kind of a joke, I guess. I, with 25 other men, was locked down for 23 hours a day. The meals were brought by trustees from the kitchen and shoved through the slot in the door, and we were let out for one hour each day to shower and to clean up our cells. Some interacton could go on at this time between prisoners. I knew some of them from the jail I was in before coming to the prison. The talk ranged from âI didnât do itâ to âIâve been down this road before.â There were a couple of men there who were doing what I was; trying to find some kind of answers by reading the Bible. I would spend 99% of my time reading the scriptures. The Psalms had my full attention! Especially the ones that dealt with being persecuted and in trouble. David had plenty of that and I could relate to many of his pleas to God.
2. Bow down thine ear unto me; Deliver me speedily: Be thou to me a strong rock, A house of defence to save me.
God was speaking to me through His Word by the Holy Spirit. He was hearing my cries and a comfort would come over me as I read the words in the scriptures. He was quick to give me the strength I needed to bear up through the on-going torment I was experiencing caused by my incarceration and the reasons that I was there. Satan kept telling me that God would not do anything for me and that I was too far gone for any hope of salvation, even thrugh the bld f Jesus Christ, but each day a new blessing would come to me. I was gining understanding about myself as well as Godâs plan for me. I was amazed at hw much peace I felt even with the longing for my wife and children and the life that I had ruined by my idiotic, insane behaviors.
3. For thou art my rock and my fortress; Therefore for thy name's sake lead me and guide me.
God was becoming my strength and my place of refuge. I was becoming more and more dependent upon His Word as a guiding force in my life. I knew from the Word what I should be doing with my time in prison and with the rest of my life. I was going to continue studying His Word even to the point of maybe becoming a minister and dedicating my life to Him. The prison chaplain, Len, would come around to the new prisoners and invite them to come to Bible study. It meant an extra hour out of the cell and it would also mean that I could get some questions answered that I had accumulated from unsupervised study. I looked forward to those Bible studies and the hour would fly by as I tried to take in everything I coud concerning Godâs Word.
4. Pluck me out of the net that they have laid privily for me; For thou art my stronghold.
There were some who wished me harm at this time. It hadnât been very long ago that I was sentenced and there were still those who wanted the worst for me. They wanted me to suffer as much as possible for the things I had done to them. My ex-wife had a lot of venom in her heart, and rightly so. My family, for the most part, decided that I was no longer even alive. I had never been so alone in my life! The strength that I found in Godâs Word and the ever presence of the Holy Spirit gave me the help I needed to hold on to what sanity I still had left.
5. Into thy hand I commend my spirit: Thou hast redeemed me, O Jehovah, thou God of truth.
I decided that I needed to fully accept Jesus as my Savior and Lord! At the Bible studies, I learned that it was not enough to decide to be a good guy for the rest of my life. It was necessary to as Jesus to come into my heart. I said the âsinners prayerâ with others during one of the Bible studies and I could feel the Holy Spirit endwell my being with a warm glow and, upon leaving to go back to my cell, I looked at everything from that time on in a completely different light! I had been redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christ,and the one true God had accepted me as one of His children! I had been adopted by My Holy Father and He saw me as He sees His Son, pure and chaste and without blemish! I was still locked up. The walls didnât come down as they had done for Peter and Paul, but the walls no longer held me in. I was totally free and at the same time in prison! Only the true God, the Son and the Holy Spirit can have this power! I went back to my cell and I wept for the pure joy of all that had happened.
6. I hate them that regard lying vanities; But I trust in Jehovah.
There were those who said that I was under some kind of spell. They said that after a little while I would get back to reality and see that there really is no God and I was only fooling myself to think that some god could help me. The more they talked, the more I trusted in my Lord! I knew that after I had been re-born, that Satan would try his best to get me to renounce God and go on with my pathetic old life, thinking only of myself and my personal wants an desires. This gave me the evidence I needed to stand steadfast with my decision. Since Satan was trying so hard to change my mind, there must be a lot to this re-birth thing!! My resolve to follow my Lord grew stronger.
7. I will be glad and rejoice in thy lovingkindness; For thou hast seen my affliction: Thou hast known my soul in adversities;
8. And thou hast not shut me up into the hand of the enemy; Thou hast set my feet in a large place.
The joy that I felt was unfathomable! I again felt that I really was worth something and not just something to be thrown away! God knew me. He was there every step of the way from my arrest to the time I spent in jail; to my sentencing, my divorce and my transfer to prison. I was free, as I have said, and there was no turning back now. More blessings began to come to me. I had gootten some books from the small library in the cell block. Most of them were paperbacks and some even were of a Christian nature. This gave me even more backround and information that I was hungering for. Things couldnât have been going better concidering that I was still in prison and awaiting assignment to one of the yards. The choices were maximum, minimum and trustee. I prayed that God would have them pit me where I could get the most spiritual growth.
9. Have mercy upon me, O Jehovah, for I am in distress: Mine eye wasteth away with grief, yea, my soul and my body.
10. For my life is spent with sorrow, And my years with sighing: My strength faileth because of mine iniquity, And my bones are wasted away.
11. Because of all mine adversaries I am become a reproach, Yea, unto my neighbors exceedingly, And a fear to mine acquaintance: They that did see me without fled from me.
12. I am forgotten as a dead man out of mind: I am like a broken vessel.
13. For I have heard the defaming of many, Terror on every side: While they took counsel together against me, they devised to take away my life.
14. But I trusted in thee, O Jehovah: I said, Thou art my God.
15. My times are in thy hand: Deliver me from the hand of mine enemies, and from them that persecute me.
16. Make thy face to shine upon thy servant: Save me in thy lovingkindness.
17. Let me not be put to shame, O Jehovah; For I have called upon thee: Let the wicked be put to shame, let them be silent in Sheol.
18. Let the lying lips be dumb, Which speak against the righteous insolently, With pride and contempt.
The day came that I would be transferred to a yard. I was both afraid and elated that I would be getting out of the âfish tankâ and out to a place that I could find some kind of work in the prison and have more room to go for walks and get some fresh air. I had grown comfortable in that six by eight cell. It was a place of safety in an unsafe enviornment and now I was going to have to adjust. The Trustee division was out of the question and I thought that if I could get to the minimum yard I could be transferred to the Trustee department quiker that if I were to go to the Maximum yard. The Maximum yard held untold dangers because of the type of people who were living there. Murderers,rapists of both women and men,child molesters,sodomists,strong arm robbers and professional criminals who could not be trusted. Some of them had to be tranquilized just so they could make it to the mess hall without killing anybody!
So, it seems that the minimum was full and we in the âfish tankâ had to be moved out to make room for the new prisoners who were coming in. The Maximum yard had plenty of open cells. I was crushed! What in the world would I do now?
The main thing wrong with the way I had approached the upcoming transfer was that I had thought the whole thing out in my own mind and that God would just naturally g along with what I thought would be the best curse for me to take. Wrong! God had a better plan for me than I could ever have.
Arriving on the Max Yard was everything I imagined it would be. The eyes staring at you, the people who had been living in the cell block where you were assigned looked at you as if you had just killed their mother even though they already had. It was not a friendly place! I put my things in order in my new cell and by the time I had finished, it was time to go eat. I got my food and sat by myself. After eating, I returned to my new cell and locked the door behind me. I wanted it all to go away! I could hear the voices outside my cell talking about me and what they thought of the ânew guyâ. They were speculating a to what I done to get in prison and if I wa even worth letting live until breakfast. I shut off the light, laid down on my cement slab and prayed for all I was worth.
With the morning, I was still alive and after a night of prayer and talking to God, I was ready to face the first full day on the Max yard. I was refreshed and full of the strength of God as I went to breakfast and then to my knew job in the education department as a teaching assistant in the G.E.D. section. As it happened in the âfish tankâ it happened in the Max yard. My faith and resolve both grew and I began my studies again in ernest.
19. Oh how great is thy goodness, Which thou hast laid up for them that fear thee, Which thou hast wrought for them that take refuge in thee, Before the sons of men!
20. In the covert of thy presence wilt thou hide them from the plottings of man: Thou wilt keep them secretly in a pavilion from the strife of tongues.
21. Blessed be Jehovah; For he hath showed me his marvellous lovingkindness in a strong city.
22. As for me, I said in my haste, I am cut off from before thine eyes: Nevertheless thou heardest the voice of my supplications When I cried unto thee.
23. Oh love Jehovah, all ye his saints: Jehovah preserveth the faithful, And plentifully rewardeth him that dealeth proudly.
24. Be strong, and let your heart take courage, All ye that hope in Jehovah.
The blessing came pouring in! First, I began to go to the Bible studies on the Max yard. They were of more depth than the studies in the âtankâ and I learned so much more. Second, I received some money that was being held for by the life insurance company that I subscribed to while I was in the Army. It was a little over $2,000.00! A small fortune for someone in prison. It came right after I was told about a coresponcence course that I could take to get my masters in theology. It would cost $500.00 and I had n idea where I would get the money. God knew where the money was! Third, there were fellow Christians on the yard who had study books that I could purchase to use and build my library. Forth, I became very comfortable in the Max yard and soon I was spending my time studying and teaching. In nine months I had finished the course of study that would lead to me getting the degree. It was almost record time for the completion of the course, but I had the time to work on itâ¦I felt like a monk in a monestary coping Bible verses with a feather pen on parchment. It was the perfect place to be to get the job done. Fifth, I was transferred to the Trustee department and worked in the warehouse. I continued to study and work on my thesis. It was on the miracles of Jesus. I am a miracle of Jesus! Sixth, after five months in Trustee, I was paroled! Upon getting out, I had my thesis printed and sent it in. In two weeks I received my official degree in theology!
