I come here today to seek support and prayer from fellow Christians. Unfortunately, I don’t have many Christian friends in my life due to the lifestyle choices I make. I need Christian fellowship. I’m writing this now because I’m stressed, and my heart is stabbing me from the binge drinking I did 24 hours ago.
I don’t want to forget the pains I’m feeling right now, b/c in times like this I “run home to daddy”. By daddy, I mean talking to God in my conscience and praying. Needless to say, it’s the same sermon I preach to myself every time I hit rock bottom. Part of my problems lie with never writing anything down, so I eventually choose not to think about it and it goes forgotten in my busy life. The only times I really strive for Christ is when I can’t handle the choices I’ve made, and I seek Him for comfort.
Sadly I live the life of a hypocrite, and the words I say to God go forgotten. The evil one knows exactly when to present something to me at my weakest moment. It’s like he knows me better than I do—I hate attacks. These attacks are the result of no armor—which is the shield of His word and the power of knowing Him as He truly is and living through His glory.
I want to read this post everyday for a month to see how it affects my lifestyle. Christ isn’t going to change the environment around me. I have to make the choice to follow Him. I know that’s where my happiness lies. One day, I hope that statement turns from “my happiness” to “His glory”.
I need to confess my lifestyle to other Christians so I can feel ashamed everyday for the person I’ve become over the past 1355 days.
Just as soon as yesterday, I woke up and told God I wasn’t going to drink later. I felt that way b/c I was compelled before the weekend not to drink. The nature of who I’ve become broke that promise with a white russian, screw driver, vodka red bull, vodka red bull, goose tonic, blueberry lemon drop shot, bud light, berry stoli & sprite, goose red bull, and finally another bud light...
Sad thing is, I didn’t wake up hung-over. I’ve gotten to know my body over the past 3 years and drinking a lot of water throughout the night helps subside the hangovers. However, when I finally push a lot of food through by body the next day, I go through what I’m going through now—weird feelings that support a mind-tearing conscience. I am a weekend alcoholic.
I am weak and Satan wants me to make my own choices, and not look into The Higher Power.
2 months ago, my roommate and I have reconnected with a lost acquaintance from college. Our location and lifestyle has enabled him to sleep with a different girl every weekend for the past 2 months. He mentioned hanging out around us every weekend is going to give him a big ego (he used a different term, but it’s not appropriate now). That’s one tree that I water for the evil one. Rich has become a great frequently reoccurring friend-- I just need to help redirect his focus.
Not too long ago, I supported the demise of a marriage. I committed adultery. She was legally married for the first 4 months of our “relationship”, but was “separated” the whole time. She got her own apartment a couple weeks after we first started talking. I knew it was wrong from the beginning, but my life was so distracted by other things that I never gave it the amount of thought it deserved. Our relationship completely ended some months ago and it’s very hard for me to accept forgiveness or come to terms with The All Knowing about what we did.
Soon after that breakup, I had my first one night stand with a complete stranger. I let myself do something I would have normally (and naturally) avoided b/c of how Jane and I were ending things. I regret it every time I notice something different about my body.
Any of my close friends would tell you I seek the “unavailable” woman. Nature sends them to me. It’s scary to list all the close friendships I have with girls that are in serious relationships with other men. Outside the sins from the above paragraphs, I have never done anything physically with any friends that would compromise their other relationships. However, I’ve began to notice I support a problem in a marriage—a friend who I care about much more than the others. We’ve began to only get together to catch up when her husband is out of town. Last time she invited me over to her place and we hung out for awhile, I knew it was inappropriate, even as innocent as it really was. I don’t want that to be the start of something very bad. Our justification is that we were good friends long before their marriage.
She is another reason why I need to get closer to Christ, so I can remain her friend and nothing more. Without Christ, nature tells me to seek after her with Eros love and not Philia love.
I don’t treat my body as a temple for God. I now probably eat 50-60% more food than my body actually needs. The choices I do make are more for pleasure and convenience rather than nutrition. There was a point in my life when I adapted the lifestyle of eating what was needed and good for me, and it supported a lifestyle that helped me get closer to God. I need to become a living sacrifice.
80% of my workouts this year have been due to stress, and as a release, I push myself harder than I should and my workouts are no longer consistent. I put on 15 pounds within 1 week back in December and since then I’ve been scared into eating better and exercising more regularly. I do so in fear, and not for the right reasons.
I have not listed everything that needs correcting in my life, as I think a fully honest profile would deter the reader from the real point of this post. This has become lengthy, but I need to read this everyday to remember the emotions I experienced when I started typing. I’ll take time to remember the other things at this point in the reading.
If you have made it this far, thank you so much for your time and I would greatly appreciate a quick prayer of support to help realign my life in God through Christ. I know I can become the warrior for Christ that He helped me envision 1355 days ago.
I don’t want to forget the pains I’m feeling right now, b/c in times like this I “run home to daddy”. By daddy, I mean talking to God in my conscience and praying. Needless to say, it’s the same sermon I preach to myself every time I hit rock bottom. Part of my problems lie with never writing anything down, so I eventually choose not to think about it and it goes forgotten in my busy life. The only times I really strive for Christ is when I can’t handle the choices I’ve made, and I seek Him for comfort.
Sadly I live the life of a hypocrite, and the words I say to God go forgotten. The evil one knows exactly when to present something to me at my weakest moment. It’s like he knows me better than I do—I hate attacks. These attacks are the result of no armor—which is the shield of His word and the power of knowing Him as He truly is and living through His glory.
I want to read this post everyday for a month to see how it affects my lifestyle. Christ isn’t going to change the environment around me. I have to make the choice to follow Him. I know that’s where my happiness lies. One day, I hope that statement turns from “my happiness” to “His glory”.
I need to confess my lifestyle to other Christians so I can feel ashamed everyday for the person I’ve become over the past 1355 days.
Just as soon as yesterday, I woke up and told God I wasn’t going to drink later. I felt that way b/c I was compelled before the weekend not to drink. The nature of who I’ve become broke that promise with a white russian, screw driver, vodka red bull, vodka red bull, goose tonic, blueberry lemon drop shot, bud light, berry stoli & sprite, goose red bull, and finally another bud light...
Sad thing is, I didn’t wake up hung-over. I’ve gotten to know my body over the past 3 years and drinking a lot of water throughout the night helps subside the hangovers. However, when I finally push a lot of food through by body the next day, I go through what I’m going through now—weird feelings that support a mind-tearing conscience. I am a weekend alcoholic.
I am weak and Satan wants me to make my own choices, and not look into The Higher Power.
2 months ago, my roommate and I have reconnected with a lost acquaintance from college. Our location and lifestyle has enabled him to sleep with a different girl every weekend for the past 2 months. He mentioned hanging out around us every weekend is going to give him a big ego (he used a different term, but it’s not appropriate now). That’s one tree that I water for the evil one. Rich has become a great frequently reoccurring friend-- I just need to help redirect his focus.
Not too long ago, I supported the demise of a marriage. I committed adultery. She was legally married for the first 4 months of our “relationship”, but was “separated” the whole time. She got her own apartment a couple weeks after we first started talking. I knew it was wrong from the beginning, but my life was so distracted by other things that I never gave it the amount of thought it deserved. Our relationship completely ended some months ago and it’s very hard for me to accept forgiveness or come to terms with The All Knowing about what we did.
Soon after that breakup, I had my first one night stand with a complete stranger. I let myself do something I would have normally (and naturally) avoided b/c of how Jane and I were ending things. I regret it every time I notice something different about my body.
Any of my close friends would tell you I seek the “unavailable” woman. Nature sends them to me. It’s scary to list all the close friendships I have with girls that are in serious relationships with other men. Outside the sins from the above paragraphs, I have never done anything physically with any friends that would compromise their other relationships. However, I’ve began to notice I support a problem in a marriage—a friend who I care about much more than the others. We’ve began to only get together to catch up when her husband is out of town. Last time she invited me over to her place and we hung out for awhile, I knew it was inappropriate, even as innocent as it really was. I don’t want that to be the start of something very bad. Our justification is that we were good friends long before their marriage.
She is another reason why I need to get closer to Christ, so I can remain her friend and nothing more. Without Christ, nature tells me to seek after her with Eros love and not Philia love.
I don’t treat my body as a temple for God. I now probably eat 50-60% more food than my body actually needs. The choices I do make are more for pleasure and convenience rather than nutrition. There was a point in my life when I adapted the lifestyle of eating what was needed and good for me, and it supported a lifestyle that helped me get closer to God. I need to become a living sacrifice.
80% of my workouts this year have been due to stress, and as a release, I push myself harder than I should and my workouts are no longer consistent. I put on 15 pounds within 1 week back in December and since then I’ve been scared into eating better and exercising more regularly. I do so in fear, and not for the right reasons.
I have not listed everything that needs correcting in my life, as I think a fully honest profile would deter the reader from the real point of this post. This has become lengthy, but I need to read this everyday to remember the emotions I experienced when I started typing. I’ll take time to remember the other things at this point in the reading.
If you have made it this far, thank you so much for your time and I would greatly appreciate a quick prayer of support to help realign my life in God through Christ. I know I can become the warrior for Christ that He helped me envision 1355 days ago.
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