In need of advice on this one...

[trinitygrace]

I am going through a lot right now with my ex who wants to date me again. He is a rededicated Christian but still thinks it is okay to have sex if we were to go back out. He said he doesn't think that it's wrong, but I know it is. I love him very much but can't seem to commit to him as I know that he won't accept me not wanting to be sexual because I'm trying to honor God. If anyone would like to pm me on this one, that would greatly help me out. I don't know how I'm going to let him go as I still love him and can't imagine being without him and him being with another woman. Please pray for me and post any advice you have. God Bless You.

 

[Chajara]

I've been through all this, and it sucks. One of the hardest things to do is to know someone isn't right for you or that being with them is going to cause more strife than it's worth, and to walk away. But it sounds like that's what you need to do.

Granted, I went back with my ex. He walked away from me, telling me he didn't love me anymore. I went crazy with grief. Fast foward to the end of summer, and we'd both dated another person, matured, and somehow we found one another again. We're planning on marrying in a few years, soon as we're out of college. So, miracles do happen.

But that's the exception and not the rule. You need to examine why you two broke up and why he thinks it's okay to pressure you to have sex. What if you don't give in? What will he do? What if you do give in? How are you going to feel, and do you trust him not to take what he wants and run?

Your purity is important. Don't give it up for nothing. It really sounds like you'd be playing with fire if you were to go back with him.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

It sounds like you know the answer already.

 

[wiggsfly]

It sounds like you two have a lot to talk about. Perhaps you should both speak to a professional about this as it seems there might be more issues at stake.

 

[DeaconDean]

Let me say that for one thing if he had rededicated his life as he said he did, then he would know that sex before marriage is wrong. The Bible calls that fornication. And in the second place, if he had rededicated as he had said, then he would respect your wishes and live with it. I say leave him and look elsewhere for someone who will want to walk the spiritual life you have chosen. 1 Corinthians 7 has these principles all laid out for you, look at them please. You need someone who will grow both with you in the Lord and in each other. Pardon me but this guy does seem self-centered. Get involved in some Christian programs that are availble, Christian Singles for example. Visit a Christian Tea room. I have found out that there is good fellowship just sitting and reading at the nearby Lifeway Book Store. Listen, tell him how you feel and give him time to change. If he does not want to change, then leave him and look for someone who will love you for who and what you are in Christ!

 

[trinitygrace]

Thank you all for all of you advice and prayers. They have helped me immensely. I have great news to report. My ex is being respectful about my decision to wait until marriage to be sexual. I am so happy! Apparently, there was a misunderstanding. I was thinking that he couldn't wait until marriage, but I have prayed about it and we have discussed it and he has told me that he is willing to grow in a Christian relationship with me and live in a holy way. I am so grateful he understands! I really do love him soo much and would love to see us work out but I do need time to see if he is really going to walk his talk and mature in a growing relationship with the Lord. Thanks again for your continued prayers.

May God Bless each of you in the coming New Year!

 

[bliz]

So glad to hear that!

My only advice would be that you take your sweet time getting married. No disrespect to your sweetie, but it is one thing to say how you are going to live, and quite another thing to do it. On this site I have read so many postings from women whose husbands had changed, but after only a short period of marriage, had changed back again. Forget what he says... do you see the Fruits of the Spirit?

 

[Desert_pea]

Trinity that is fantastic news! I am so happy for you girl

 

[Nathan55]

I think you should tell him that you are just not ready for sex. That you just dont feel comfortable with it at the moment, and share with him your beliefs. Tell him if you think its wrong. Just make sure to tell him that you love him dearly, you are just not ready for sex or that you dont want to do it before marrige