I've been with my boyfriend for 5 yrs. now. We have lived together for a little over a year. We have gone through many ups and downs. From infidelity on his part and many, many lies. I also have a 6 yr. old son from a previous marriage. I think our relationship is about to end. We are constantly arguing about anything and everything. He says I'm too jealous and I'm always questioning him and that makes him mad. Whenever he's mad he's the ugliest person to be around. He is very verbally abusive. I know that I am too jealous and it's because I haven't been able to forget all the things he did to me in the past. Sometimes the way he acts and the things he says when he gets mad makes me think he's still the same person he was before. He hasn't cheated on me again, but 3 months ago when we were in an agrument he took off and didn't come home till 5 am. He wouldn't tell me where he went, but I found out he went to a club because I had to get something in his car that same day and found a bottle of water with the club label on it. He even tried to deny it, but knew he was caught so admitted to it. I feel that he makes it even harder for me to get over my jealousy because just when I think I'm doing better he does something else to mess it up. I honestly think that he feels he can do whatever he wants and make as many mistakes as he wants and that everything will go back to normal after that. I just feel that I'm so different from him. We started going to church about 2 months ago off and on, that did help. But then we started missing and things started getting worse again. His family is very involved in the church, but he has never been that way. The only reason we started going is because I convinced him too. Before we moved in last year I asked him when will we ever get married? He said it would happen before this year is over, but I seriously doubt that. Whenever we argue he tells me that he doesn't want to get married. So he's always saying things and then taking them back. It's really hard for me to just pick up and go because I have a son and can't afford a place with my income alone. I do love my boyfriend, but I can't be with someone that doesn't respect me and has no intentions of being married. I'm so deprest right now...I don't know what to do. I would like to work things out, but I feel it's too late. I think he really doesn't care to salvage this relationship. Another thing is that throughout most of our relationship he was the one making less money than I was and now it's changed. He finally got a good job and is making good money. So he constantly tells me how he can afford to live by himself and I'm the one that's stuck. My boyfriend also works many hours and even on Saturdays. Even on his days off and in the evenings he's always getting calls from people at work. I can't help but get upset because we barely ever have diner together. Sometimes I'm sleeping when he gets home and then on top of that I have to put up with someone calling him on the cell when we're out together. He doesn't understand why I get mad. He says it's his job and if I don't like to leave. I feel that I don't mean anything to him at all. This is the reason why he says I'm too jealous because I question him too much about who he's talking to and where he's at. My boyfriend does IT consulting, so he's always going to different companies and even to people's houses to do work. I don't trust him so whenever he's says he's at someone's house and it's like 9 or 10 pm. I always worry. I don't think he's cheating on me, but the fact that we have so many problems doesn't allow me to trust him fully. I would really like some advice.
Thank you.
Thank you.
