In Crisis

[gadget1]

Hello everyone,

This is my first time posting on this board and I hope I'm meeting the rules and guidelines.

I am currently 37 years old and I am going through a really rough time (actually it's several). I've lost my father last year and my current relationship is falling apart. I was raised a very strong baptist and believe in God, but recently I think that God has stopped listening. I pray daily for help, but he doesn't seem to answer. I get mad and very angry at God and then I feel so mad at myself. I am trying to stay true to my faith, but I can't seem to find any relief. Can anyone help me understand what is going on and why is seems God is punishing me

Gadget

 

[cardfan1]

Gadget
I am truly sorry for your loss and that you're going through a rough time. You didn't mention if you had depression or not (this is the depression forum), - it's just that sometimes depression or disorders can bring you into a state where nothing seems like it really is.

Nonetheless, losing someone like your father and relationship problems will definitely produce a deep sense of hurt, pain, frustration, and anxiety. It's during these times that we often cry out to God, just begging Him to bring about some sort of comfort or relief or at least some understanding. And if we are truly Christians, why wouldn't He come to our aide? Jesus even says that if we ask anything in His name, it will be given. However, please don't discount other versus of scripture that say things like, "My ways are higher than your ways." and "lean not on your own understanding".

So often in times of crisis we drop to our knees like we should and offer everything to God, and when we don't see immediate results we begin to doubt, to get frustrated with God, which eventually can turn to anger. It's engrained in society today. We can go to the local restaurant and get food within minutes, we have faster and faster vehicles and faster and faster internet. We live in a "now" society where everything is expected as soon as you request it. And this is where everyone gets caught up in one way or another.

I know it's hard, I know the pain you must be feeling, but please try to ask God for patience and understanding through this. Try not to blame Him, but try to seek what His will is in all this and what you can learn from it. The Lord knows your pain and suffering, He hears your cries. Jesus said, "I will never leave you, nor forsake you." The Lord is not punishing you, but He may be allowing you to go through this valley in order to grow stronger. (see 2 Corinthians 12:9-10). All relationships go through trials, and they only strengthen when put to the test.

Also, i know what it can be like being raised in a strong or strict Baptist church environment. I truly believe that the Baptist denomination consists of some of the strongest Christian people on the planet, However, please don't feel like you are failing any particular church. It is God who you will answer to, not any denomination. And it is not wrong to question the Lord. Even Christ questioned God when on the cross. "Father, WHY have you forsaken me?"

Just remember, the Lord knows everything about you, your pain, your weakness, your hurt, your frustration, your anger. Take it to Him in prayer and tell Him about it. Be honest and tell Him everything, even how you are angry with Him. The Lord loves you more than you will ever know, and he is listening, I promise you. And He will heal your pain. But be patient, the Lord works on His schedule, not yours. Put your full trust in the Lord Jesus Christ.

I will pray for you brother.

In Christ..

 

[GrandmaW4boys]

Hello,

I'm so sorry you are hurting. Please know that God is always listening.

There are things we can't always understand. I heard it explained once like a cloth that had embroderiy (sp) On the back side it's not very pretty. Actually can sort of look like a mess. But turn it over and there is a Beautiful picture sown there. That is how we can somethings think things are, a mess.. It may be a very long time until we can clearly see how it was really all coming together in to something beautiful.

Trust God and I believe he will show you how he is working things out for you. He loves you. I've felt this way myself sometimes and God has always been there even when I felt hopeless. Keep hanging in there.

 

[Jeshu]

Hello everyone,

This is my first time posting on this board and I hope I'm meeting the rules and guidelines.

I am currently 37 years old and I am going through a really rough time (actually it's several). I've lost my father last year and my current relationship is falling apart. I was raised a very strong baptist and believe in God, but recently I think that God has stopped listening. I pray daily for help, but he doesn't seem to answer. I get mad and very angry at God and then I feel so mad at myself. I am trying to stay true to my faith, but I can't seem to find any relief. Can anyone help me understand what is going on and why is seems God is punishing me

Gadget

Hi Gadget

I'm sorry to hear about your depression. Yes I know your feeling as well - very well in fact. The feeling that God is gone and the reality of us raging at God. I had also CONSTANT doubts about His existence because I couldn't feel Him during this time.
Look dear friend I learned this lesson, God exists BUT He is more than a feeling in our chest, for that feeling goes away during severe depression. DOUBT can then rob us of God altogether. Yet what does it matter that we can't feel God? He still exists and He still loves us. All good feelings leave our feeling world when we are depressed. When we know that then we cling to the Bible and the rock solid promise that Christ is with us always - regardless of what we feel or think.
Please cling to the Bible during this difficult time and DON'T let go of God. Love Him and realise that Jesus hurts your pain along side of you. He is a true friend!

Loving Regards

Gerry

 

[gadget1]

Thank you to everyone for their kind words and encouragement. I was hoping that I would be able to communicate and learn from christian people.

I understand that god has a plan, but it seem like he allows such horrible things to happen, when he could use nicer things to happen to teach a lesson or make us stronger.

I had a good night last night I was able to spend some time with friends and I actually got some good sleep (more than and hour) for the first time in about a month. I got invited to a cookout for the 4th and I was really excited, but I woke up today and it seems like a flood is coming and the cookout was cancelled. So instead of being able to spend some time with people, it seems like "God's Will" is for me to be stuck at home alone.

I also was able to see a doctor yesterday (getting the visit was another bunch of issues), but I did see him and my hopes were that he would be able to give me something to help me sleep (at least), but the visit came and went and asked for the medicine and he told me that we would talk about it "next week" and maybe we could do something. Now I can't understand - I made the step, I listened to my heart, I prayed, and I believed that god sent me to doctor to get help and to get some sleep, but what I experienced was that god made me feel like I was alone and that I was going to have to fight this alone.

I understand that we live in a 'now' generation, and that we cannot always see the way that god is leading us quickly, but what I do see almost imediately are all of the negative, roadblocks, and pain/heartbreak that is thrown into the path. Sometimes I feel like the only thing that I can beleive in is that I will get hurt and people will abandon me.

Gadget

 

[Jeshu]

Thank you to everyone for their kind words and encouragement. I was hoping that I would be able to communicate and learn from christian people.

I understand that god has a plan, but it seem like he allows such horrible things to happen, when he could use nicer things to happen to teach a lesson or make us stronger.

I had a good night last night I was able to spend some time with friends and I actually got some good sleep (more than and hour) for the first time in about a month. I got invited to a cookout for the 4th and I was really excited, but I woke up today and it seems like a flood is coming and the cookout was cancelled. So instead of being able to spend some time with people, it seems like "God's Will" is for me to be stuck at home alone.

I also was able to see a doctor yesterday (getting the visit was another bunch of issues), but I did see him and my hopes were that he would be able to give me something to help me sleep (at least), but the visit came and went and asked for the medicine and he told me that we would talk about it "next week" and maybe we could do something. Now I can't understand - I made the step, I listened to my heart, I prayed, and I believed that god sent me to doctor to get help and to get some sleep, but what I experienced was that god made me feel like I was alone and that I was going to have to fight this alone.

I understand that we live in a 'now' generation, and that we cannot always see the way that god is leading us quickly, but what I do see almost imediately are all of the negative, roadblocks, and pain/heartbreak that is thrown into the path. Sometimes I feel like the only thing that I can beleive in is that I will get hurt and people will abandon me.

Gadget

Dear Gadget.

I don't pretend to have all the answers but this I know. Don't blame God for the terrible things that are happening in your life. God is not the author of hardships. Yes He allows things, even terrible things to happen, but that is because we have chosen for evil as a whole, but each person is responsible for his/her own actions that is how judgement works as well. So if the doctor is not giving you medications than that is the doctors responsibility not God's but God CAN and WILL , to those who ASK, bring comfort and spiritual relief. So please review your understanding of God. He doesn't bring evil or hardships on our way, but rather provides us with the strength to face difficulties.
He is the Master when it comes to bringing loving comfort to those who are hurting.
I recommend Him ten thousand times strong as your aid in trouble.

 

[gadget1]

I am trying so hard to understand what you are trying to say, but it is so difficult. I pray and pray and pray for his will to be done, I listen and watch for his will, but I don't see it change.

How come God's will is in his time, but evil is instant. I prayed for someone to talk too and I was informed this morning that I cannot speak with that person again. What good can I find in that, why was another person taken out of my life. Do I praise god for that blessing and move on? What do I do - it seems like everyday is another set back.

I am hurting Lord, please comfort me in this time of trouble. <Amen>

 

[cardfan1]

How come God's will is in his time, but evil is instant. I prayed for someone to talk too and I was informed this morning that I cannot speak with that person again. What good can I find in that, why was another person taken out of my life. Do I praise god for that blessing and move on? What do I do - it seems like everyday is another set back.

I am hurting Lord, please comfort me in this time of trouble. <Amen>

Gadget,
I really empathize with your situation. It sounds like you are having a difficult time just keeping your head above water, and i know how awful that can feel. But it also sounds like you are continuing to pray and seek the Lord's will for your life, which is truly awesome to see. More people than not will give up on the Lord when they don't get their answers right away.

Also, I don't know if this will help you or not, but it helped me - my brother made a good point once. There is one and only one major decision in each person's life that everyone must make - the decision to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour. If you have chosen Jesus, you have made the right decision. All other choices in life fall by the wayside. So as long as you have chosen Christ, if you make all wrong decisions for the rest of your life, at least you still made THE right one.

As far as the other stuff, it sounds like you are really being kicked while your down. I believe God does allow certain things to happen in life, even tradgedies, to test our faith & trust, to make us stronger, to try our hearts, or just to see if we are really putting Him first.

I know sometimes words seem pretty frugal during the hard times, so i'm just gonna share a little of my experience. I think some of the struggles I've been going through has been God just forcing me to my knees and telling me to stop trying to figure everything out. I've learned a lot about myself in the past couple months. I've been so down and have felt so miserable that I thought it couldn't be anything other than God telling me I was doing something terribly wrong. At first I thought for sure the Lord was trying to convict me of something. As time went on, the more I thought about things, the more I thought how awful a person I was and how God was punishing me for all the sins I've commited. I tried so hard to get on my knees all the time, fast, read the bible more and more, and doing anything I could to make God not mad at me and make the pain go away.

I still don't have it figured out, but after a lot of pain, prayer, scripture, and conversation with some good Christian people, I began to realize that maybe God isn't mad at me. Maybe he really does love me like the bible says. Perhaps the Lord is allowing me to go through this in order to prepare me for something in the future. Maybe someone else will be going through this in the future and the Lord is preparing me to use my own experience to provide comfort and guidance during the difficult times to them. Maybe He is just forcing me to read the bible more and pray more. Maybe He just wants me to appreciate the good times more. But no matter what comes of my depression and all my troubles, i have learned this: There is absolutely NOTHING I can do to gain favor with God. I am stained with sin (as is every other human being on earth). I can't pray enough, read enough, be charitable enough, or be righteous enough to get any closer to the Lord or heaven. If I sat in a box for the rest of my life, I wouldn't be any closer to heaven than if I went to church every day. ALL that ever needed to be done was done by Jesus in the FINISHED work of Christ on the cross. The ONLY thing we can 'do' is choose to have a relationship with Jesus. And besides being the greatest thing in my life, it has also provided comfort during these hard times knowing that I don't have to do anything more for the Lord to love me beyond my comprehension. He loves me more than I will ever know, and He loves you more than you'll ever know too.

Just keep that in mind. The bible tells us the Lord never causes us to suffer without a cause. He will reproof, correct, chasten, and guide us, but always for the better and because He loves us so, and never without a reason. I don't know why He is allowing you to be turned down and rejected by so many people or situations. But I know there is hope for you, just as there is hope for me. Continue to search and pray with fear and trembling. Ask the Lord for comfort. He will never give you more than you can handle. I hope and pray that things get better for you, and that you find comfort soon. Please let me know if there is anything else I can do or say.

May God bless you.

 

[AWorkInProgress]

Thank you to everyone for their kind words and encouragement. I was hoping that I would be able to communicate and learn from christian people.

I understand that god has a plan, but it seem like he allows such horrible things to happen, when he could use nicer things to happen to teach a lesson or make us stronger.

I had a good night last night I was able to spend some time with friends and I actually got some good sleep (more than and hour) for the first time in about a month. I got invited to a cookout for the 4th and I was really excited, but I woke up today and it seems like a flood is coming and the cookout was cancelled. So instead of being able to spend some time with people, it seems like "God's Will" is for me to be stuck at home alone.

I also was able to see a doctor yesterday (getting the visit was another bunch of issues), but I did see him and my hopes were that he would be able to give me something to help me sleep (at least), but the visit came and went and asked for the medicine and he told me that we would talk about it "next week" and maybe we could do something. Now I can't understand - I made the step, I listened to my heart, I prayed, and I believed that god sent me to doctor to get help and to get some sleep, but what I experienced was that god made me feel like I was alone and that I was going to have to fight this alone.

I understand that we live in a 'now' generation, and that we cannot always see the way that god is leading us quickly, but what I do see almost imediately are all of the negative, roadblocks, and pain/heartbreak that is thrown into the path. Sometimes I feel like the only thing that I can beleive in is that I will get hurt and people will abandon me.

Gadget

I am simply blown away Cardfan.

I may have an earthly father who left me long ago and a new step dad. I have a Great Godly Father and my Lord Jesus.

I would pray for understanding and to learn what is being taught to me. Next day I am on my knees feeling full effect of my problems. Wrote down the syntoms and what happened. Researched and bible study like crazy. Bamo! Wisdom and understanding found then applied.

Our Great Father keeps us accountible and puts us thru what we need to go thru to learn. Read the proverbs or book of Job, or any of the prophets.

Proverbs 13:24
Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children.
Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.

Yet God is merciful if he believes there is hope of us sinners turning back to him. genesis 18:16-33 or Kings of Israel that truly tried to humble themselves where spared a generation from God's judgement.

Which is why I love that quote from Batman movie. Not that you sinned, but that you learned how to pick yourself back up which is. Even the parables of the 2 brothers told by Jesus had the same theme to it. Lost sheep is found and brought back to the flock.

haha sorry I am rambling now. Why I encourage people to do a real bible study. "Seek the face of God". Problem usually lies in not understanding our Great Father, yet he asks that you do look for him and have that relationship with his Son.

 

[gadget1]

Hello everyone,

I have not been doing very well. Last night was very difficult. I hit rock bottom again. I'm finding myself spinning out of control. I continue to pray for god to put something and someone into my life to stop the spinning. I just don't know how I'm going to make it through the day. My faith is failing, My hope is dying. I need help.

Please God, Help Me. I can't deal with the pain anymore.

Gadget

 

[jsimms615]

Hello everyone,

This is my first time posting on this board and I hope I'm meeting the rules and guidelines.

I am currently 37 years old and I am going through a really rough time (actually it's several). I've lost my father last year and my current relationship is falling apart. I was raised a very strong baptist and believe in God, but recently I think that God has stopped listening. I pray daily for help, but he doesn't seem to answer. I get mad and very angry at God and then I feel so mad at myself. I am trying to stay true to my faith, but I can't seem to find any relief. Can anyone help me understand what is going on and why is seems God is punishing me

Gadget

Not exactly sure what your going through besides your dad passing and the relationship you mentioned going down hill. I've been through several transition in my life and am currently going through one. I might suggest that you pick up a copy of a book called "Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes" by William Bridges. I am currently reading it and finding it really relative to what I am going through.
Please pm me if you want to talk or email. I am always willing to listen and try to help.

 

[fushiarose]

Hello everyone,

This is my first time posting on this board and I hope I'm meeting the rules and guidelines.

I am currently 37 years old and I am going through a really rough time (actually it's several). I've lost my father last year and my current relationship is falling apart. I was raised a very strong baptist and believe in God, but recently I think that God has stopped listening. I pray daily for help, but he doesn't seem to answer. I get mad and very angry at God and then I feel so mad at myself. I am trying to stay true to my faith, but I can't seem to find any relief. Can anyone help me understand what is going on and why is seems God is punishing me

Gadget

I think it is the normal grieving process. anger is part of the grieving process.

 

[x0xJesusIsLovex0x]

I am really sorry your feeling like this. But God is never punishing you. Maybe, He's testing you. I don't know but hopefully He hopes you won't give in to the Devil's game. Its hard I know. Your not the only one. I am too. Everything for me is going to be a diaster in the end. But I do hope you can pray too. Prayer always work, and I know God is out there and listening to every single word you have to say. God loves you.

 

[Starr SDA Living Word]

Hello everyone,

I have not been doing very well. Last night was very difficult. I hit rock bottom again. I'm finding myself spinning out of control. I continue to pray for god to put something and someone into my life to stop the spinning. I just don't know how I'm going to make it through the day. My faith is failing, My hope is dying. I need help.

Please God, Help Me. I can't deal with the pain anymore.

Gadget

Dear friend,

I am so sorry you feel this way. I am praying for you right now. If you need to Talk Private Message me, I am here if you need to talk, or if you just want to pray together. I am Starr. I would love to help you, I have been there. I just got over about of it last week myself. God will make a way, He promises. I am claiming those promises now.

 

[gadget1]

Hello Everyone,
It has been a very tough week for me. I collapsed at work on Tuesday and was hospitalized. I blacked out for over 45 minutes.
They ran bunches of tests on me and found nothing to be wrong with my head, but said that I had some irregularities with my blood samples. I was released, but have to go back for some followup visits.
While in the hospital I had a Psyc consult and they prescribed me some stuff to sleep and help with the anxiety and stress.
I have not had any anger episodes lately, but I think I'm having some serious problems with depression now.
My ex in now completely moved out (with her children), so I'm happy for her, but now I'm alone in the house and now my health has become a problem.
I'm going to continue with my therapy and I tried going to church this morning, but it was not a good experience.
I thank everyone for their insights and kind words - I feel this is going to be a long road to recovery and I feel very alone.
Gadget

 

[Taylor43]

Keeping you in my prayers. Have advice But God loves you