Important Question Please Please Please Answer If U Can

[Godsgurl4ever2006]

i have a question for yall

i dated a guy for a year and we broke up in august but we may be getting back together soon and

He was catholic but he got saved at a youth campout that he went to with me before we went out....then a week later we started dating.....the reason i wouldn't date him before is that the people at my church said i shouldn't because he was catholic....so i was wondering if they were right or not...i no longer go to that church now i go to the vineyard and i like it much more

 

[SUNSTONE]

What church is the vineyard, catholic or other?

I think that people should stick to there own denomination for the most part.
One major reason is what if you both are not willing to go to church together if you get married?

I love my church, and I don't see myself giving it up. Thats why I am going after this one girl in my church.

 

[SUNSTONE]

HEY!!!! Your 14 what are you thinking? Wait until you are older, don't make a mistake that you "will" regret.
There is plenty of time for marriage, and you don't want to be immature when you do get married.

Dating, forget it, its nothing but trouble, sure its fun, but it is to much temptation, and feelings will roll like a rollercoaster, and believe me its no fun crashing. Atleast wait until your an adult to date, for your sakes and the body of Christ.

 

[GodOwnsMe]

mhhhhhh I wouldn't say you shouldn't date him because he's Catholic....
pray over it... I've read stuff that you shouldn't be dating too early and I agree but just ask God
I'll be praying for you !! *hugs*

 

[Godsgurl4ever2006]

the vineyard is a non-denominational church

 

[Jpnseawa]

Originally posted by Godsgurl4ever2006
the vineyard is a non-denominational church

 

Amen!

 

[fieldmouse3]

If he believes in God, and is saved (as you are), then I don't see the problem. This is probably something that you and God are going to have to work out on your own.

 

[Ben johnson]

I agree that 14 is too young to date. There is plenty of time.

RE should a "Christian" date a "Catholic"? There are many Catholics who are Christian! A Catholic who believes in salvation by grace alone, through faith (and understanding the concept of "born-again", FELLOWSHIP with Christ and filled with the Spirit), rather than "by faith + works + sacraments" is saved. But there is much to be said about being "equally yoked". A true Catholic submits to the church---would it be OK if your children are raised Catholic?

Don't be afraid to grow up at your own rate---try to do it too fast and you will spend much time longing for missed childhood. Grow up when you are ready. Save yourself sexually for marriage, and you will be THOUSANDS of times happier than if you did not---and you will not lament for years with regrets, or try to live with an incurable disease. Marry at 25 or later, and the maturity that only age gives will strengthen your relationship and polish your personality. Marriage is 1 + 1 equals somewhere BETWEEN one and two. But ½ + ½ can never add up to one! (Meaning, that if you are not WHOLE and COMPLETE before marriage, you cannot be so IN marriage!)

Youthful immaturity bristles at the suggestion of "you're to young to date"---but a wise person listens to counsel, and maturity looks backwards with smiles at how they thought as a teenager.

Don't be afraid to be yourself---and grow up when you are ready.

God bless you!

 

[Gerry]

Glad to see you posting and seeking the advice of other Christians. I thought you had left us. I am very glad you are here.

Ya know, I was 14 once, and even though I know there are differences in boys and girls, generally as for a their perception of things, I think you should slow down some and re-lax. I do not say to forget the guy, but be very careful with your heart and emotions. Spend your time alone, in a crowd and never alone. This will ease temptations and tensions on everyone's part. OK? If you do this and stay in prayer, you will fare well.

I personally think one should wait untill they are at least 40, before they begin to date and marry no earlier than 45!

 

[wvmtnkid]

There is some good advice here, GG. Just remember that we love you and want what is best for you. I am sure the feelings you are having for this young man are very real. But, at 14, you have your whole life ahead of you. Trust me, boys will come and go. Just make sure your relationships and your actions in those relationships are pleasing to God. I am praying for you!

 

[ZiSunka]

My mom was a born-again catholic and she and my born-again protestant father had a happy marriage. The thing isn't what denomination he's in, but who's in his heart!

 

[SUNSTONE]

I don't mind Christians marrying Catholics.
I am just saying weigh it out, like the bible says.
Before you build a house, you must first consider the expenses.

Lets say I am baptist, and I find a girl thats baptist, but she goes to a different church.
If neither one of us aren't willing to goto the same church, then that is a big problem.

 

[Ben johnson]

Hi, Sunstone. The different-churches-thing is less than a problem---there's always "commuting", or "alternating" or some other compromise. The problem with theological differences, is that they persist beyond the church and throughout the week at home. We are warned to "not be yoked to unbelievers"---but there is friction caused by differences between believers. There is great joy in harmony of belief---sharing in the same worship of God. Many Protestant denominations are similar enough to trivialize differences---but some are not. Take "tongues" for instance ---certain denominations believe, "Filled with the Holy Spirit with evidence of speaking in tongues"--- thus one who DOES NOT TONGUE, is not FILLED. If one partner believes this and the other does not, can you see the incredible friction that will result? So too with PROTESTANT/CATHOLIC. Will a Protestant submit to confession with a priest? Or the Eucharist? Although praying to saints as intercessors is, imho, a little weird, I cannot find anything condemnable Scripturally. But imagine one who does NOT, married to one who DOES. You see, each difference adds to the others. It is true that no two people are ALIKE, and happy are only those who can MANAGE conflict---but it is best in the beginning to choose less conflicts.

Oh, uhm, and lest we offend our "Catholic brethren", please let's not say it as "Christians marrying Catholics" (I was being a tiny bit sarcastic)---but rather, Christian Protestants marrying Christian Catholics. There are many Catholics who are saved, and there are many who are not. Just as there are many Protestants who are saved and many who are not. Sadly, not everyone who wears the "hat" of "Christianity", really belongs...

 

[Ben johnson]

no two people are ALIKE, and happy are only those who can MANAGE conflict...

This is a foundational truth, in case anyone missed it...

 

[Gerry]

Awesome post Ben Johnson

 

[altya]

Originally posted by Ben johnson
Hi, Sunstone. The different-churches-thing is less than a problem---there's always "commuting", or "alternating" or some other compromise. The problem with theological differences, is that they persist beyond the church and throughout the week at home. We are warned to "not be yoked to unbelievers"---but there is friction caused by differences between believers. There is great joy in harmony of belief---sharing in the same worship of God. Many Protestant denominations are similar enough to trivialize differences---but some are not. Take "tongues" for instance ---certain denominations believe, "Filled with the Holy Spirit with evidence of speaking in tongues"--- thus one who DOES NOT TONGUE, is not FILLED. If one partner believes this and the other does not, can you see the incredible friction that will result? So too with PROTESTANT/CATHOLIC. Will a Protestant submit to confession with a priest? Or the Eucharist? Although praying to saints as intercessors is, imho, a little weird, I cannot find anything condemnable Scripturally. But imagine one who does NOT, married to one who DOES. You see, each difference adds to the others. It is true that no two people are ALIKE, and happy are only those who can MANAGE conflict---but it is best in the beginning to choose less conflicts.

Oh, uhm, and lest we offend our "Catholic brethren", please let's not say it as "Christians marrying Catholics" (I was being a tiny bit sarcastic)---but rather, Christian Protestants marrying Christian Catholics. There are many Catholics who are saved, and there are many who are not. Just as there are many Protestants who are saved and many who are not. Sadly, not everyone who wears the "hat" of "Christianity", really belongs...

Very good posting Ben - I feel many people, me included are too easy to judge who is save and who’s not. We keep our eyes on someone else’s ‘works of the flesh’ or the type of church they attended and judge according to this.

 

[SUNSTONE]

You guys missed the point, God told me you weren't going to get it, and wanted me to explian myself better. Well here it is.

I said, lets say I was a baptist and so was she, and we both went to different churchs. Then we get together and even get married.
Now she says "I am not leaving my church in part B of New York"
And I say "Well I can't leave my church in part A of New York, I have to much invested here."
So we both decide to goto are own church, this would suck to say the least.
You can't worship together unless you visit the others church, and programs in the church would probably colide in schedules. It would just give the devil room to battle the marriage over. The devil would look for when you were tired and whisper in your ear, "she loves someone else in the other church" and who knows, with me not there she very well would be tempted to do such a thing, atleast alot more than if I were there.

Not to mention what if we had kids, where would they go, her church or mine? If you let the kids decide then one parent is going to be hurt.
Its just a big mess, that "could" happen, why take that chance?

Now I don't have anything personal against Catholics, but how much different are the services at Protastant and Catholic churchs? I know I wouldn't be willing to change from my church to any other church, even if it was the same denomination, only God would change my mind, or if the church lost its mind and then I would change.

Do you believe that God will provide you and everyone else with a mate when the time is right(except those that were not designed to have mates, for various reasons).

[Be anxious for nothering, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.] Philipians 4:6+7

 

[Godsgurl4ever2006]

thanks alot guys.....but for your info he isn't like that and knows that i'm not like that...we both have high moral standards..

 

[SUNSTONE]

Originally posted by Godsgurl4ever2006
thanks alot guys.....but for your info he isn't like that and knows that i'm not like that...we both have high moral standards..

Thats why its called temptation, your to young to know it "fully" but there will come a time when your feelings will run crazy, and you will have to decide to do the right thing.

So do my heart a favor and stop all this dating nonsense. If you want to do something to help the process along so you don't have to wait as long, study the word like crazy, lift weight(light ones) so you will be able to do harder tasks when you do have kids, and finish up in school. Life is short but not that short, you will be married for 50, 60, who knows 100 years and that is a very long time, so learn to recognize God's voice and becoming the women God called you to be before you do something that you could regret later. There is a time and a season for everything it says in Ecc 3:1-8, so now is a time of building into maturity.  

Lord help Your girl to grow into a mature relationship with you, before she ever gets married. Inspire her to become the mature women that I know You want her to be. In Jesus holy name.

   Holy Kiss