I love you so much, sacrifice much to you too, almost throwing away my destiny in God. But I still put God first, and still regard Jesus as my greatest love and maybe that's why God still use me to be someone useful in His kingdom.
But I dun understand, you said you love me, you belonged to God's kingdom too, but why time after time you will choose to hurt me and treat me coldly. Time after time you will say that you'll try to change but few days later you are back the same. But I still love you more.
You left me before, distracted by another girl, distracted by being free from me. Left me brokenhearted and caused to go into depression for months. Finally, I pick myself up, I began to get over you. Though i am still in love with you despite not contacting each other for a period of time.
But why did you come back? Why did you beg me to give you another chance? Why did I give in despite all the hurts and pain you have caused me?
Why did I feel that you really did love me? And why am I so happy to be with you? Why do you treat me so well and then cut me deeply with your harsh/cold words when I didnt do anything wrong?
Now we didnt contact each other for just a few days after you showed me the coldest look and treat me as if I am your enemy. But already I am struggling, I miss you so much I want to find you and tell you that.
But I cant, and I dun want to.. i dun want to be constantly hurt by you. I dun want to keep deceiving myself that you really do love me while my best friend has been asking me to wake up.
Love is sacrificial.. just like God's love for me. Sometimes I will want to continue to hope and have faith in you because I love you very very much. But then, on the other hand, your constant hurting me due to your insecurities and temper is affecting my ministry.
What should I do? I probably wun do anything as long as we dun contact each other. True, it will hurts me like mad but at least the answer is clear... But what if you come back again like last time? Honestly speaking, though i want to be firm and say no, I know deep down inside I will say yes. I will be willing to try, willing to keep the faith, willing to continue to believe the future together.
Truth is, I never love anyone like this before. You really make me happy and when we are enjoying ourselves and helping each other in the Lord, I am on top of the world and no one has ever come close to give me such a feeling. I had relationships before, but none has ever make me dream and visualize a great future together. And I really put my faith and hope in you.
You treated me well. I really did feel love. And so here lies the contradiction. I alway believe that as long 2 persons love each other and put God first in their lives, any obstacles/arguments/disagreement/misunderstandings can be resolved. So now I am confused, do you really love me? Do you really love God??? Or am I just a prize that you are aiming for? But the price to get me is too hard to pay and now you are giving up?
I am confusing myself.. Should I find you? Will you call? If you call should I answer or avoid? Should I go over and pass you your things? Should I just leave it and see what happens? What are you doing now? Surely you are having fun with your friends? Forgetting me? Hating me?
I need help. I want to get over you. I pray and cried out to God. I won't pray to have you back but I want to have my life back. I still love you very much and I'll be lying if I say I have totally given up on us... but its not healthy for me to keep having hopes only to be destroyed by you.
Why? Do you love me?
But I dun understand, you said you love me, you belonged to God's kingdom too, but why time after time you will choose to hurt me and treat me coldly. Time after time you will say that you'll try to change but few days later you are back the same. But I still love you more.
You left me before, distracted by another girl, distracted by being free from me. Left me brokenhearted and caused to go into depression for months. Finally, I pick myself up, I began to get over you. Though i am still in love with you despite not contacting each other for a period of time.
But why did you come back? Why did you beg me to give you another chance? Why did I give in despite all the hurts and pain you have caused me?
Why did I feel that you really did love me? And why am I so happy to be with you? Why do you treat me so well and then cut me deeply with your harsh/cold words when I didnt do anything wrong?
Now we didnt contact each other for just a few days after you showed me the coldest look and treat me as if I am your enemy. But already I am struggling, I miss you so much I want to find you and tell you that.
But I cant, and I dun want to.. i dun want to be constantly hurt by you. I dun want to keep deceiving myself that you really do love me while my best friend has been asking me to wake up.
Love is sacrificial.. just like God's love for me. Sometimes I will want to continue to hope and have faith in you because I love you very very much. But then, on the other hand, your constant hurting me due to your insecurities and temper is affecting my ministry.
What should I do? I probably wun do anything as long as we dun contact each other. True, it will hurts me like mad but at least the answer is clear... But what if you come back again like last time? Honestly speaking, though i want to be firm and say no, I know deep down inside I will say yes. I will be willing to try, willing to keep the faith, willing to continue to believe the future together.
Truth is, I never love anyone like this before. You really make me happy and when we are enjoying ourselves and helping each other in the Lord, I am on top of the world and no one has ever come close to give me such a feeling. I had relationships before, but none has ever make me dream and visualize a great future together. And I really put my faith and hope in you.
You treated me well. I really did feel love. And so here lies the contradiction. I alway believe that as long 2 persons love each other and put God first in their lives, any obstacles/arguments/disagreement/misunderstandings can be resolved. So now I am confused, do you really love me? Do you really love God??? Or am I just a prize that you are aiming for? But the price to get me is too hard to pay and now you are giving up?
I am confusing myself.. Should I find you? Will you call? If you call should I answer or avoid? Should I go over and pass you your things? Should I just leave it and see what happens? What are you doing now? Surely you are having fun with your friends? Forgetting me? Hating me?
I need help. I want to get over you. I pray and cried out to God. I won't pray to have you back but I want to have my life back. I still love you very much and I'll be lying if I say I have totally given up on us... but its not healthy for me to keep having hopes only to be destroyed by you.
Why? Do you love me?
