I'm so tired of this.

[peterparker]

How the heck am I going to make it? I'm so tired of God (or the confusion and stress of trying to figure out what God wants me to do and when the holy spirit is talking to me). I absolutely hate reading the Bible now. I hate to say it, but I do.

I understand not hurting people, forgiving (even though it's tough), and most of the real harmful stuff. But it's the nitpicky stuff that just gets to me. And which is it again? I know I asked already, but what does God want? Does he want me to take it easy and grow as I feel convicted (whatever that means)? Or does he want me to try and do everything on my own without any desire or understanding? And it's not like I have much of a choice given passages like Hebrews 10:26. I basically can't let my guard down.

I still wish God showed me how horrible my sins were so I could have some motivation. Instead, today I might have to cut off a friend because he smokes weed. I have absolutely have no desire to do this. I have no motivation to do this, but hell probably isn't a nice place...

I still don't know how long I can last doing things like a slave.

ps. How is it exactly that legalism kills the spirit or soul, whatever. I've heard this somewhere before and I wonder if this is happening to me.

 

[Rage4Christ]

What is it that you want?
If you want an easy answer, then you're not going to find it.
Life is complicated.
Christ gave us an example to live by-- unconditional love.

Do you think if you alienate your weed smoking friend that God will love you more??
God loves everyone unconditionally.

Show compassion and understanding for your friends.
Show compassion and understanding for yourself-- don't be so hard on yourself. Understand you're trying.

There is no secret code, or set of instructions in the Bible that will guarantee salvation. What Christ asks of us can not be found as though you were reading some instruction manual. If that were the case can you imagine trying to program your VCR with allegorical instructions?? Christ gave us parables for a reason. To tell us that it is in our hands, our accountability to go out into the world and participate. Not to have our heads buried in the Bible.

We have the story of Christ, his example.
From there it is about personal transformation. Work on it. Approach all with love and respect. Know your own boundaries.

Its not easy. But I feel as though you have picked the "easier" challenge.
I feel, from reading your post, that eventually you hope to find the "cheat sheet" in the Bible that will get you a pass to heaven.

Not going to happen.

You must transform, find Christ, accept him and then become like him.
You won't succeed because of sin. It is the process that counts.

 

[heron]

Do you think if you alienate your weed smoking friend that God will love you more??
God loves everyone unconditionally.

I have to laugh -- When I was dating dh, we visited some of his friends, who I knew would be smoking weed when we got there. I said, "why even bother going if they aren't going to remember you were there." I was more legalistic in those days than I am now (those of you who know me here, don't gag).

God showed up my self-righteousness. We got there, and one of these stoned people turned on Pat Robertson, and started ranting about Revelations and the end times. He must have quoted two chapters verbatim, and put me to shame, lol. Yes, while very wasted.

I know that parents will want to pull you away from people who are a bad influence, but I would be more concerned if he lied to you, put you in a position of illegal posession, or continually intimidated you.

But back to your search for truth and enlightement, I think it's time to have it out with God. Wrestle the angel. Tell Him what's ludicrous and restrictive, and find out if that's really what He mean these rules and verses to mean. He's tough, He can take it.

There are a lot of things that churches teach, which are overreactions to scriptures. It helps to visit a broad range of churches (take even a year), and get a more balanced view. It really helps to shake things up.




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[Jayangel81]

The problem with Legalism is that the people who are taught in it and follow it never really know if they are saved or not.

There are some churches who teach people that salvation is based on works, and when the people Sin they question if they are really saved. our Good deeds are like dirty rags(isaiah 64:6)

God wants our faith and trust in Him followed by true repentence.

You say that youre tired of being a "slave"(I take it youre referring to "Gods slave")

But in truth arent you tired of being a slave to Sin tho? because that is exactly what you are.

Im wondering on what kind of nitpicky stuff youre talking about?

You ask how you are going to make it, the truth lies in the Holy Spirit. It is God who changes us and our desires and heart. A man does not seek after God on his own.

What God wants is simple, youre love and youre repentence. as i said in the other post I wrote you He does love you, and He wants a personal intimate relationship with you. And what He wants is you to recieve His love. obediance folows love.

Heres the thing about being convicted, when youre convicted He is telling you it is Sin and He would like for you to repent and stop doing it, He might not change "How you feel about that sin" right away. If I was God I wouldnt. Not right away. I would want to see some obedience on youre side. and that from what ive learned is what He does at times.

You will hate youre sins in due time and delight in Gods law.

Hebrews 10:26 is so takin out of context by the reader. What He is talking about is He is warning people of the sin of apostacy.

Have you started to read the gospels yet? If not I would suggest it.

 

[LilLamb219]

What book of the bible are you trying to read right now that is making you not enjoy His Word? Have you considered joining a Pastor led bible study to help you understand what it is you're reading...preferably one where the pastor knows how to properly distinguish between Law and Gospel. I say this because this is very important.

The Law is meant to act as a curb, guide and mirror. The Law is what WE are to do and always accuses us of our sins! The Law can't save us because we can never perfectly fulfill it. Each time you read something in scripture about what you are to do or not do...it is Law.

The Gospel is what God does for us for our salvation. It has nothing to do with what WE do...it's all His doing. The Gospel is what changes us into the New Adam, cleanses us from our sin and gives us salvation for it is the Good News.

If you are in despair...don't go hunting down more Law of what you are to do or not do...turn to the Gospel instead. If you are feeling a bit too self-righteous about what you're doing in your life...you probably need the Law to hammer you down a notch and show you how sinful you still are.

Don't give up. Life is a daily struggle. We still live in the sinful body that wants to battle the New Adam within us.

 

[heron]

Hebrews 10:26 is so takin out of context by the reader. What He is talking about is He is warning people of the sin of apostacy.

Ironically, the whole chapter is about grace overriding the Law!

1. Since the law has only a shadow of the good things to come and not the true form of these realities, it can never, by the same sacrifices that are continually offered year after year, make perfect those who approach.

5 Consequently, when Christ came into the world, he said, "Sacrifices and offerings you have not desired."
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Abraham's faith was counted to him as righteousness. Abraham did some offensive things, like lying that his wife was his sister, and allowing her to be a mistress to someone who thought she was unmarried. Yet he is considered the great forefather of our faith, because God continually offers forgiveness for things we regret.

I would take your focus off the things you do or don't regret for a bit, since the overall struggle has become much larger than the specifics that are being used against you.






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[peterparker]

Ok, the Hebrews 10:26 thing makes more sense, but what messed me up is that it was presented differently at my church.

I guess I don't feel like a slave to sin, but there are a few things I can't seem to shake, but those things aren't the nitpicky things I talk about.

One nitpicky thing is about this video game I play once in a while. You're supposed to have one account per person, so my brother and I each have an account. The terms of agreement say no one can play on your account but yourself, but I'll sometimes play on his account. In fact all our friends that play this game will play on one another's accounts here and there, and this is something that most people that play in general do too. I figure the company that runs the game doesn't want to lose money if a bunch of people are playing on one account, so that's why they made their rule up for one person per account. But this started to nag me. Sure my brother and I have two accounts, so to not be stealing we will pay for both accounts. But this wasn't enough, the rules say one person per account. Period. And I started worrying that if I kept playing on his account I'd be willfully sinning (Hebrews 10:26). On top of that both accounts are under my name, and the rules say that the one person that can play is the one that has his name on the account. This caused me alot of stress.

Another nitpicky thing is this friend that smokes weed. Let me explain: First off he's not a dealer and I doubt he ever would. He never carries nearly enough for an intent to sell charge. He's been stopped before, they just had him pay a small fine. In fact when they stopped him he got a ticket for three things, his tail light was out, he wasn't wearing his seat belt, and he had weed. You know what the only thing he had to show up to court for was? The worst of the three charges? The seatbelt part. We live in California, so laws are very lineant (If we go to Nevada things get tougher though). Even if I am with him he could claim the weed and I wouldn't get anything. It's happened before, they got stopped, someone else claimed the weed, no one else got a charge. And as for being a bad influence on me, well I did smoke a couple of times in the past, wasn't for me, never had an addictive personality to any substance really, so the chances of me doing it again, are very very slim. So what's my problem? If the FBI stops us things would be bad for him and me. Sure, the chances of of the FBI coming after us are non-existent, so I'm not worried, but what does God think? I also have to be careful if we go to Nevada. So because there's a tiny chance of me getting in trouble because of his habit (FBI or Nevada), I'm afraid that I'd be willingly sinning (again Hebrews 10:26). Another thing is I don't know if God wants me to do anything I can to make him stop smoking. I would like him to stop, but he isn't some junkie so it's not like I'm stressing over it, but what does God think? He does exercise, works hard, doesn't have family problems, etc. He has even mentioned slowing down on the smoking and maybe eventually quitting, so again I'm not really stressed, but I'm worried about what God thinks and about sinning willfully.

So if Hebrews 10:26 really is referring to (and only to) apostasy, then that would be a huge weight off my shoulders. Because if I have to be watching out for every little thing that might be a sin, well maybe it's time for a mental institution. Anyone know how much those cost?

And yes, I'll be honest. I want it to be easier than what it is now. This right now is very hard for me to handle. I just don't have what it takes to live like this. I'd have to try some drastic things, like move out to some farm a relative might have.

 

[Jayangel81]

I remember the days of me smoking weed, heck..I remember growing marijuana in my room, I had a grow closet. (I had a passion for the beutiful plant) I refused to ever deal but I grew it for personal use. I was sick and the marijuana gave me the ability to work and do every day things a normal human being was able to do.

Do you know what God did?

He taught me in the end of it all, Marijuana is not what I needed..
It was Jesus He gave me a passion for Him. People do not respect it..Im not saying anything further on it tho.

As for your friend it is always nice to encourage someone to do the right thing, without being to pushy(you will drive them away) Best thing to do is pray and ask God to help him.

The video game situation seems absolutly silly, I know I used to be a gamer till I decided to live for God. Truth? You entered into an agreement with the software company and you should agree with it.

Heres a question for you peter, how does a man know what is right in the eyes of God? How do we know what is right and wrong, and Im not talking about following convictions from God.

It is from reading the bible, what you need to do is start with the gospels and read through Pauls letters and it will give you an idea, and it may just help you see why some of these things are wrong in the sight of God.

If you were in a mental institute you will still be thinking of this

Ok, the Hebrews 10:26 thing makes more sense, but what messed me up is that it was presented differently at my church.

I guess I don't feel like a slave to sin, but there are a few things I can't seem to shake, but those things aren't the nitpicky things I talk about.

One nitpicky thing is about this video game I play once in a while. You're supposed to have one account per person, so my brother and I each have an account. The terms of agreement say no one can play on your account but yourself, but I'll sometimes play on his account. In fact all our friends that play this game will play on one another's accounts here and there, and this is something that most people that play in general do too. I figure the company that runs the game doesn't want to lose money if a bunch of people are playing on one account, so that's why they made their rule up for one person per account. But this started to nag me. Sure my brother and I have two accounts, so to not be stealing we will pay for both accounts. But this wasn't enough, the rules say one person per account. Period. And I started worrying that if I kept playing on his account I'd be willfully sinning (Hebrews 10:26). On top of that both accounts are under my name, and the rules say that the one person that can play is the one that has his name on the account. This caused me alot of stress.

Another nitpicky thing is this friend that smokes weed. Let me explain: First off he's not a dealer and I doubt he ever would. He never carries nearly enough for an intent to sell charge. He's been stopped before, they just had him pay a small fine. In fact when they stopped him he got a ticket for three things, his tail light was out, he wasn't wearing his seat belt, and he had weed. You know what the only thing he had to show up to court for was? The worst of the three charges? The seatbelt part. We live in California, so laws are very lineant (If we go to Nevada things get tougher though). Even if I am with him he could claim the weed and I wouldn't get anything. It's happened before, they got stopped, someone else claimed the weed, no one else got a charge. And as for being a bad influence on me, well I did smoke a couple of times in the past, wasn't for me, never had an addictive personality to any substance really, so the chances of me doing it again, are very very slim. So what's my problem? If the FBI stops us things would be bad for him and me. Sure, the chances of of the FBI coming after us are non-existent, so I'm not worried, but what does God think? I also have to be careful if we go to Nevada. So because there's a tiny chance of me getting in trouble because of his habit (FBI or Nevada), I'm afraid that I'd be willingly sinning (again Hebrews 10:26). Another thing is I don't know if God wants me to do anything I can to make him stop smoking. I would like him to stop, but he isn't some junkie so it's not like I'm stressing over it, but what does God think? He does exercise, works hard, doesn't have family problems, etc. He has even mentioned slowing down on the smoking and maybe eventually quitting, so again I'm not really stressed, but I'm worried about what God thinks and about sinning willfully.

So if Hebrews 10:26 really is referring to (and only to) apostasy, then that would be a huge weight off my shoulders. Because if I have to be watching out for every little thing that might be a sin, well maybe it's time for a mental institution. Anyone know how much those cost?

And yes, I'll be honest. I want it to be easier than what it is now. This right now is very hard for me to handle. I just don't have what it takes to live like this. I'd have to try some drastic things, like move out to some farm a relative might have.

 

[peterparker]

Just for the record I've read the Gospels twice, all of Acts, Romans, and a couple of other things.

As for the video game. Is it a silly thing or a serious thing? I believe that the rules the company came up with were to not get robbed by several people playing on the same account. I think if my bro and I pay for each of our accounts its not a big deal to play on each others accounts. That's me, but what about God? I also think it's not a big deal to drive a little over the speed limit, or to jay walk, but both those things are against the law, so does God think they're a big deal?

The reason I would need a mental institution is because when I despair so bad that I can't reach God's standards of salvation (and don't tell me there are none because we all know we can't go around sinning like crazy just because we accept Jesus) I get really depressed/angry and I have had feelings of hurting some one, and fears that I might hurt myself. I'm afraid I might need to be restrained in the future.

 

[heron]

well maybe it's time for a mental institution. Anyone know how much those cost?

Jump in before a legalistic fellowship drives you to mistrust everyone.

Truth? You entered into an agreement with the software company and you should agree with it.

Sensible way to present it. Possibly their other reason for separate accounts, is that people get angry and write to the company instead of dealing with their friends, and that costs the company time and money. Or a predator gets involved, and there is no way the company can prove they had nothing to do with it.

I think this is the sort of rule that protects them from lawsuits and higher insurance rates, and like you said, monetary loss, but isn't as important as they make it sound. Like when a beach says "no wading," and what they really mean is "no lawsuits when you drown." (Oops, am I in sin?)

Even if I am with him he could claim the weed and I wouldn't get anything.

True? California groups try to legalize every so often, so that makes sense. Not where I live!

He has even mentioned slowing down on the smoking and maybe eventually quitting

A lot of people make these decisions to quit on their own, especially if their friends aren't egging them on to continue. If you talk about it, there are some contexts where it would fit, like if he was driving you while smoking, or if he was getting nauseus and didn't know why, or had been eating too much. (-;

what messed me up is that it was presented differently at my church.

I can believe that! Speakers get on tangents and drives to fix things. There can be an assumption that tighter control is more spiritual, perfection is the goal... these hyper-spiritual mindsets tend to snowball until everyone cracks.

I was in a church that went that direction for about ten years. After a while, people were popping at the seams. Heart attacks, panic attacks, eating disorders, runaway kids (wonder why). They thought they were doing the right thing. Righter and righter and righter.

I understand how it happens, but you can help people stand against overdoing it. I don't mean stand against their spirituality, but when something seems amiss and grates against you, check into why. For many scriptural rules, there are balances in scriptures. Like the verse you quoted -- that was a one-liner balance in a larger passage on Jesus' sacrifice overriding the power of the Law.

It's not rebellious to disagree, or to look further into a subject than your pastor chose to that week. If you read about Job and Jonah, they mixed disagreement with respect.

Moses said, "I can't get up in front of a crowd!" Jesus said, "If there's any chance this crucifixion thing is not necessary..." (cup pass). Jacob physically wrestled all night with God/the angel. It is important to see God for the massive entity that He is, but don't be so afraid of His rules that you don't ask Him why He wants these things done.





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[peterparker]

It is important to see God for the massive entity that He is, but don't be so afraid of His rules that you don't ask Him why He wants these things done.

The thing is I don't always know what he wants. Like you said about the "no wading" rule. My fears would tell me "it's a rule, God seems to like us sticking to rules", where I would also think oh they probably just mean "no lawsuits when you drown". At this point my fears would overpower me and I would really get stresses out and angry at God for wanting me to keep stupid rules. I'd probably soon realize that in reality I don't even really know what God is thinking, which would stress me out more. I then would ask God to tell me what he wants, and sure enough I'd get no answer, get even more stressed. And well this happening several times a day means I have an emotional break down every week.

I'll be honest with you, I'm pretty scared for what might happen.

 

[heron]

Not knowing for sure what He wants... when a verse or concept gets to me, I look it up in the Hebrew or Greek. I don't know those languages so I miss some points like tense and sentence structure, but the online resources provide enough information to sometimes find that what people teach is not what it says.

Preachers can get into patterns of teaching what they heard, or skimming over the explanation of why something made sense to them. When I visit different churches, or listen to different media teachers, I get a better balance. Sometimes I turn on the Catholic channel to mellow out, even though I am Protestant.

I remember one time a very good pastor said, "and of course there weren't dinosaurs ...," and I thought, of course what? He didn't give any background at all for the statement -- he just threw it out there assuming we'd all agree. (We still have ginkgos, ferns, horsetails, alligators and probably plesiosaurs and rumors of many more.)

Back to rules. When God gave Moses the set of rules, religious leaders added to them. They over-interpreted things like not mixing lamb with its mothers milk, to needing to own two sets of pots and pans so meat would never touch milk. The more perfectly people could obey the Law, the better? The more insane.

Forgive me for posting such a long passage, but this was Jesus' response to their legalism.

Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples: "The teachers of the law and the Pharisees sit in Moses' seat. So you must obey them and do everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach.

They tie up heavy loads and put them on men's shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.

"Everything they do is done for men to see: They make their phylacteries wide and the tassels on their garments long; http://www.studylight.org/desk/?query=mt+23:6&sr=1&t=nivthey love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; they love to be greeted in the marketplaces and to have men call them 'Rabbi.' "But you are not to be called 'Rabbi,' for you have only one Master and you are all brothers. ...The greatest among you will be your servant. For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.


"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the kingdom of heaven in men's faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to.
"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as you are.
http://www.studylight.org/desk/?query=mt+23:17&sr=1&t=niv
"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices (tithe even the fractions of ounces)--mint, dill and cummin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law--justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.
"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.
"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean.
(That is what you are seeing)In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.
...And you say, 'If we had lived in the days of our forefathers, we would not have taken part with them in shedding the blood of the prophets.' "You snakes! You brood of vipers! How will you escape being condemned to hell?


There are times when God works within us to show us injustice and imbalance. But it sounds like our selves, because it can go against the grain of our church. You say that you are not hearing God, but maybe that is precisely what you are hearing within yourself -- His cry for justice and truth and fairness and love.

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