im lost

[knw1991]

it seems like suffering is something we have to accept and may have to live in every day. it hurts me to hear about all the pain people are in here on cf i dont want the life i have. its empty and lonely. i cant trust God not when so many others are suffering. i dont want God's way and the world's way is destruction and rejection. i dont know where to go i wish i was never born

 

[NumberOfStars]

It is hard and it does hurt, I've been struggling lately as well. I pray that God gives us all strength to keep going even though it's so hard.
God does care and is always with us

 

[knw1991]

Thank you and I hope you feel better. It's not fair. Other people are living normal lives and don't have to worry about depression stopping their plans and they don't have to worry about if their life will be filled with depression forever

 

[NumberOfStars]

Thank you and I hope you feel better. It's not fair. Other people are living normal lives and don't have to worry about depression stopping their plans and they don't have to worry about if their life will be filled with depression forever

yeah, it is hard to think about that. We just have to hold onto God, and hope in him

"Why, my soul, are you downcast? why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, For I will yet praise him, my Saviour and my God." Psalm 43:5

 

[knw1991]

I don't want to go on. God left me just like my father. I struggled trying to find what it meant to be saved and when I finally found out how and accepted Jesus into my life everything went downhill for me. I would rather God just throw me aside and tell me I'm a worthless mistake. At least then I wouldn't suffer continually. He may send me to hell I'm so scared I hope he just erases me instead.

 

[NumberOfStars]

God never left you and never will. He loves you. You accepted Jesus into your life so nothing can separate you from him now.
"I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand." John 10:28
He IS with you, he's GOT you. You're his daughter, and he loves you so much

 

[knw1991]

But I'm not entirely sure that my heart was sincere in praying for salvation

 

[Jeshu]

I don't want to go on. God left me just like my father. I struggled trying to find what it meant to be saved and when I finally found out how and accepted Jesus into my life everything went downhill for me. I would rather God just throw me aside and tell me I'm a worthless mistake. At least then I wouldn't suffer continually. He may send me to hell I'm so scared I hope he just erases me instead.

God didn't promise us that everything would be easy as Christians but He did promise us that He would be forever more beside us. The good news is that God saves us out of our bad lives, this means that bad will go and good will come to stay.

The hardest part is to let go of these depressive lies that bring us so much suffering. Lies that tell us that God doesn't care, that we are not saved, that God isn't true to His Word, that we will always feel so bad etc.

Over the last 5 years I have learned to trust in God's promises regardless of how down I have been and it has been amazing to see God beside me even when I am deeply depressed. Bad life cannot penetrate like it did before I trusted God to look after me in my depression. Though it took me awhile I learned to believe that God is totally trustworthy, and that if I resided in His Truth then I would be safe, and He has made things so much better for me.

These are the three great forces that battle depression for us - Love, Faith and Hope - cultivate these three forces in your life and depression will loose its teeth also in your life.

 

[Tirgithin]

i cant trust God not when so many others are suffering. i dont want God's way and the world's way is destruction and rejection. i dont know where to go i wish i was never born

I am of the opinion that God is our Father, He is not our handyman, to fix what we want, when we want and the way we want Him to. We don't treat our family that way, nevermind our Father. I can't say I have all the answers, but I also don't think people should push everything on Him. Humans are prone to stumble and fall and I can only be thankful that He has the patience to put up with humanity. Looking at myself and the world, I sure wouldn't have enough patience with humanity and attachment to love them all the same, while they hurt eachother, the planet, animals, blame their God, or deny His existence

Other people are living normal lives and don't have to worry about depression stopping their plans and they don't have to worry about if their life will be filled with depression forever

Seen this is a sub-forum about depression where you posted, that seems like a inaccurate statement to make. And you are contradicting your earlier statement

Also...did you ever find help? You get a lot of sympathy in every thread you make here (which is good and very comforting), but I do wonder if after repeated suggestions to get help anywhere, you made any attempt. It seems like you mostly just skip it when you are implored to get help, because in your reponses and posts there has never been anything that suggests that you tried to look for help. If you don't reach out, you won't be able to move beyond this point.

 

[knw1991]

I want to get help but I can't afford to go to a Christian counselor.

 

[knw1991]

I am of the opinion that God is our Father, He is not our handyman, to fix what we want, when we want and the way we want Him to. We don't treat our family that way, nevermind our Father. I can't say I have all the answers, but I also don't think people should push everything on Him. Humans are prone to stumble and fall and I can only be thankful that He has the patience to put up with humanity. Looking at myself and the world, I sure wouldn't have enough patience with humanity and attachment to love them all the same, while they hurt eachother, the planet, animals, blame their God, or deny His existence

Seen this is a sub-forum about depression where you posted, that seems like a inaccurate statement to make. And you are contradicting your earlier statement

Also...did you ever find help? You get a lot of sympathy in every thread you make here (which is good and very comforting), but I do wonder if after repeated suggestions to get help anywhere, you made any attempt. It seems like you mostly just skip it when you are implored to get help, because in your reponses and posts there has never been anything that suggests that you tried to look for help. If you don't reach out, you won't be able to move beyond this point.

You're right God shouldn't have to fix anything in my life. I just need to find a way to deal with it for as long as I'm alive. I wasn't talking about the same type of people when I spoke about suffering and others not having to worry about depression interfering with their lives.
Maybe I should stop posting here so much it's not fair to others who actually use the advice given

 

[knw1991]

Why am I even writing I hate myself I just want it to be over, I wish somehow I could be erased

 

[LottyH]

I am of the opinion that God is our Father, He is not our handyman, to fix what we want, when we want and the way we want Him to. We don't treat our family that way, nevermind our Father. I can't say I have all the answers, but I also don't think people should push everything on Him. Humans are prone to stumble and fall and I can only be thankful that He has the patience to put up with humanity. Looking at myself and the world, I sure wouldn't have enough patience with humanity and attachment to love them all the same, while they hurt eachother, the planet, animals, blame their God, or deny His existence

Seen this is a sub-forum about depression where you posted, that seems like a inaccurate statement to make. And you are contradicting your earlier statement

Also...did you ever find help? You get a lot of sympathy in every thread you make here (which is good and very comforting), but I do wonder if after repeated suggestions to get help anywhere, you made any attempt. It seems like you mostly just skip it when you are implored to get help, because in your reponses and posts there has never been anything that suggests that you tried to look for help. If you don't reach out, you won't be able to move beyond this point.

Tirgithin, although I agree with many of the things you say I don't think its the best approach especially if someone is depressed. You can't snap people out of depression and although it can be frustrating if they don't appear to be acting on advice, people still need your patience if they are not in the best state of mind.

'Working out our salvation with fear and trembling' is process all of us need to go through in order to understand the heart of God and live right before him. This takes time and is often a life long process, not something we can do instantly.

 

[Maka]

Why am I even writing I hate myself I just want it to be over, I wish somehow I could be erased

Awwww don't stop writing, it's good to get it out. I'll keep praying for you

 

[Tirgithin]

Tirgithin, although I agree with many of the things you say I don't think its the best approach especially if someone is depressed. You can't snap people out of depression and although it can be frustrating if they don't appear to be acting on advice, people still need your patience if they are not in the best state of mind.

'Working out our salvation with fear and trembling' is process all of us need to go through in order to understand the heart of God and live right before him. This takes time and is often a life long process, not something we can do instantly.

I know someone can't be just snapped out of depression. I did not mean for it to come across like that. But I also believe that it is okay to give a bit of tough love, inbetween the countless support and sympathy.

She posted several threads, with over 19 pages of support and kindness. Depression is often triggered through a event or a acummulation of several things. It is also based on self-pity. That is natural, when you feel beyond terrible, are going through a rough time and see others happy as can be. But it is also one of the reasons why depressed people get stuck in their current situation, they are focused on what they perceive as negative about themselves and stay focused on that perception that everything is worse for them. Kindness is fine, but I also believe it would be good if she made contact, had people to pull up on and who help her out in small ways. Otherwise you stay isolated and going in circles in your personal darkness.

So I figured that it might actually be beneficial for someone to give a bit of tough love. Though I do now realize that I must have come across as too harsh, for that, I apologize to the OP.

I know someone who was depressed for a good 15 years (if I am correct). She kept getting into one bad situation into a worse situation. But in the end she did find some insight about that she had to try do something (her life being threatened slowly awoke in her that feeling sorry for herself was not where her focus should be on). She reached out to her friends and family to help her. Her depression did not miraculously disappear and she lost al lot of her belongings and home again, but it was a step into the right direction.

@ knw1991:
You don't need a Christian counselor. Like I wrote, anyone is good for support. Like family. Those were just suggestions from a stranger, so it isn't like you must heed my words

Also, it is fine to post here. Venting often helps. And it can give you the encouragement and support you need. I did not mean to imply you should stop posting; don't let someone like me stop you from posting.

 

[knw1991]

i have told my mom and sister how i feel. they dont know what im feeling and people wil not understand why i always go back to being depressed. i have reached out to many people throughout this. i dont isolate myself. i still go to school and work. i dont want sympathy or tough love. im ready to just leave now

 

[Tirgithin]

Ah, I didn't know about any of that. In that case, I apologize once again. I think most people do not know that once depression starts, it does not simply go away. Even if it subsides, it might come back. And there is nothing wrong with sympathy; it is good to know people care and are thinking with and/or about you.

As I wrote, don't let me spoil your stay here. There are plenty of people who are nicer to you here than I have been. I did not want to make this a bad experience for you, so I will stay away from here. I am sorry to have bothered you. My sincere apologies, I didn't mean to hurt or offend you.

 

[knw1991]

Ah, I didn't know about any of that. In that case, I apologize once again. I think most people do not know that once depression starts, it does not simply go away. Even if it subsides, it might come back. And there is nothing wrong with sympathy; it is good to know people care and are thinking with and/or about you.

As I wrote, don't let me spoil your stay here. There are plenty of people who are nicer to you here than I have been. I did not want to make this a bad experience for you, so I will stay away from here. I am sorry to have bothered you. My sincere apologies, I didn't mean to hurt or offend you.

you didnt bother me i appreciate you posting here, and you dont need to stay away. thank you fir your encouragement and advice. i just dont see a way out. im trying to read uplifting christian advice online but i feel overwhelmed, i just cant find peace.

 

[Okano]

...i cant trust God not when so many others are suffering. i dont want God's way and the world's way is destruction and rejection. i dont know where to go i wish i was never born

God does not cause suffering. Men cause each other suffering. Satan's influence on men and their sins cause suffering and heartache.

God wants good for us all.

 

[whitebeaches]

im sorry you are hurting and feeling lonely. you are not a mistake. you are not worthless.
you are so precious. even though it may not feel like it right now God is always with you. Holding onto to you and will never let go. He loves you so much. you are so special to Him. if you ever need a listening ear my inbox is always open. praying for you sis (((( hugs ))))