I'm LOST!!!! Please help!!!!

[Millerman]

Hi, I'm a relatively new Christian, and I'm quite unsure as to whether or not I am "saved". I've been baptized, but I'm having difficulty finding a church and a specific belief system. I believe in the Bible, and I believe in Christ, and have faith in Him and the beginnings of a good relationship, but I'm troubled.

The thing is, I'm a sinner... but I'm having difficulty correlating my lifestyle choices with Christendom. For example:

- Is smoking cigarettes a sin?
- Is living with my girlfriend a sin even though we don't have sex?
- I don't believe in speaking in tongues - in fact I find it quite strange and even a little demonic. Yet a majority of the believers I have met accept it and accept prophecy and other spiritual gifts and use it as an excuse for bizarre behavior - I just don't believe it.

I haven't yet been to a church that feels like home and haven't yet been to a church where I have felt so moved as to babble in gibberish or start laughing hysterically, and I'm starting to feel like something is wrong with me. It just seems like I can't fit into any church I've attended.

I'm just not sure where to go from here...

 

[Radagast]

Hi, I'm a relatively new Christian, and I'm quite unsure as to whether or not I am "saved". I've been baptized, but I'm having difficulty finding a church and a specific belief system. I believe in the Bible, and I believe in Christ, and have faith in Him and the beginnings of a good relationship, but I'm troubled.

Welcome , and I hope you find a church soon.

- Is smoking cigarettes a sin?

Well, it harms the body God gave you, so not a good idea.

- Is living with my girlfriend a sin even though we don't have sex?

Well, it's putting yourself in temptation's way.

- I don't believe in speaking in tongues

Many other Christians don't either.

 

[heymikey80]

Hi, I'm a relatively new Christian, and I'm quite unsure as to whether or not I am "saved". I've been baptized, but I'm having difficulty finding a church and a specific belief system. I believe in the Bible, and I believe in Christ, and have faith in Him and the beginnings of a good relationship, but I'm troubled.

This is not unusual. It's a new situation.

The thing is, I'm a sinner... but I'm having difficulty correlating my lifestyle choices with Christendom.

The question is whether you can correlate your lifestyle choices with Christ and the Spirit of God and what He says in Scripture, right?

- Is smoking cigarettes a sin?

It's unwise. It's not spiritually fatal. Yeah, it's progressively damaging to your body. So's obesity and a variety of other actions.

Look, you're new. Major on the majors. Smoking is not a major.

We have a label for "behavior indicator Christians" -- those who

don't drink, smoke, swear or chew
or go out with girls who do
​

- Is living with my girlfriend a sin even though we don't have sex?

In this case it's a much bigger issue. It's misleading, and many shepherds of new Christians would wonder how gullible you think they are in terms of the sex question. And yes, I realize you could be completely blameless in this area.

But there's more to it than that. Likely you're sharing in many things that a marriage covenant intends to hold for marriage -- emotional bonding among others on the list. Sex is not all there is to marriage. Spiritual oneness far exceeds sexuality in importance for your well-being.

Sexuality is quite important as well -- Christians were known for their physical chastity, and were often identified and marked for persecution because of it. It was that important early on.

If yours is a publicly known arrangement it doesn't appreciate the weaknesses of other Christians in the sex area, either. Your strength could encourage weaker brothers to fall.

- I don't believe in speaking in tongues - in fact I find it quite strange and even a little demonic. Yet a majority of the believers I have met accept it and accept prophecy and other spiritual gifts and use it as an excuse for bizarre behavior - I just don't believe it.

Neither do I.

I haven't yet been to a church that feels like home and haven't yet been to a church where I have felt so moved as to babble in gibberish or start laughing hysterically, and I'm starting to feel like something is wrong with me. It just seems like I can't fit into any church I've attended.

It took me awhile too. But they can be found.

And yeah, something is wrong with all of us, and that's why we can't quite find the right places, or fit there when we do.

I'm just not sure where to go from here...

If you notice an Evangelical Presbyterian Church in your area, you might try it. We cover a wide range, but it might help get you leveled-out. We're kinda ... conventional. And that might help.

There are other churches that can help, too. It's just tough to sort through them all. I wish I were near to help. I'll certainly pray for your finding the church where you can grow and find your brothers.

 

[tturt]

Saved or not - "...confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved." Rom 10:9 So we can know from scriptures when we are.

Tongues - you don't have to (I do believe in speaking in tongues).

You might want to ask Yahweh to guide you in your church selection.

So glad you've made the decision to make Yahweh your Lord.

 

[EazyMack]

Being new (hooray!), and having lots of questions, just remember the main thing... it's all a matter of the heart. And your relationship with Jesus will transform that heart over time. Don't worry. You've already done the most important part.

Find a Bible-based church. That's all I can say on that matter.

 

[JesusFreak.believeit]

Hey Millerman, I remember the first time I became a Christian, I was so confused, and lost. I kept praying and praying, asking Jesus to give me a home Church where I can worship Him. I believe about 2-4 months went by, and I was still at my cousin Church and not a Church on my own. I had so many questions, questions like, "Am I really saved, what is speaking in tongues, and etc.." But I did not give up, because I knew in my heart that I truly accepted Jesus and that I never been so happy in my life before. Then it happened, I didn't find a Church, the Church find me. One of my friends invited me to attend this Church, he told us that this Church was not like any other Churches, they don't follow tradition. And we went, and when I stepped inside, I knew this was it, this was the Church that is for me. I can't tell you just how I know, but I just knew it. And the good part about this was, the Church was right around my house. Jesus answered my prayer, but I don't know why it took so long, but everything was right on time. Before attending this Church, I went to a Pentecoastal Church, and they were speaking in tongues. I didn't understand it, I thought it was very strange and weird and confusing. Later on, a couple months after, I started to understand what the gift of Tongue was, and how to approriately use it.

In the Bible, the Lord told us not to use the gift of tongue in public. It wasn't to be used where everyone can hear you, the reason for this, it's because it causes confusion to new born believers and unbelievers. Yes it's in the Bible, the Lord warned us about this. Paul (one of the Apostle) then told us that if you are going to speak in tongues, then either you do it with the Lord in prayer, or you do it with a translator, the person who can translate what you are saying. If you don't do this, then it is uprofitable, there's no use for it. A lot of Churches misuse the gift of Tongues, and yes it is real, but I believe too many Christian/Churches abuse it and use it in the wrong matter.

As far as finding a Church and feeling giggle, happy, that's not the foundation of Christianity. In my life, I can tell you this, if you base your Christian life around "feelings" then your faith can crumble very easily. It's not about feeling giggle or having a laughter that just explodes. It's about faith in hard times, and it in good times, about keeping faithful always. I know the Lord will guide you, but keep praying for that home Church, ask the Lord what Church is right for you. Just like me, it may take months, maybe weeks, all I know Jesus is there for you, and He hear your prayers. He will lead you to that right Church, as for now, establish yourself strongly in Jesus. One of that foundation is, is knowing your own Salvation.

To get saved, it's is really simple, and rest assure, that once you accept Jesus, you are always saved, you can't lose it, it wasn't something you did to gain it, and it won't be something you can do to lose it either.

With all your heart and outloud with your lips:
Dear Jesus, today I accept you as my Lord and Savior, I believe in you with all my heart, forgive me for my sins, because I'm a sinner, make me brand me, and change my life. Full me with your Holy Spirit and give me understanding Lord. I confess with my mouth and believe in you with my Heart that you are Lord and the Son of God. In your name I pray, Amen.

Sounds to me Millerman, you are saved, but if you're still unassure, you can say this sinner prayer. Take care.

 

[JesusFreak.believeit]

I'm sorry for the double post, but my above post was just to long-text.

To MillerMan:
About you sinning, I just really want to clarify this, I hope you take your time to read this carefully, if you don't, you might just lose me on this subject.

A Christian life isn't on what is a sin, what I can't and can do. If this is your thinking on Christianity, it will hinder you in your walk later in life. Don't get me wrong, Jesus doesn't want us to sin, but what I'm trying to get at, is this. Christianity is following Jesus, getting to know our Lord personally. When you do this, you enjoy every bit of your life because of Jesus, (Hard times and good times), and when you sin against the Lord, He convicts your heart, and you feel guilty. It displeases you to sin, not just because it's wrong, but because you just hindered your relationship with the Lord, making it a little harder to draw closer to Him. If your life revolves around what you can and can't do, then your missing the good part of Jesus, grace. It is grace that set us free from sin, remember, it was because we we're sinners that we needed Jesus. And when we accepted Jesus, Jesus is now cleaning our hearts and life so we can be more like Him. You will find sooner/later that you will continue to sin, don't be alarmed, because we're Sinners, lol. This is the good part about Grace and why we need Him very much. I have a hard time trying to explain this, but instead of focusing on what you can and can't do, what is sin and not sin, focus on God's grace so that the Sin in your life will be removed one by one. Now if you feel convicted for living with your girlfriend, then that's a likely clue that you shouldn't be living with her for now. If you feel convicted for smoking ciggarettes, then it's very likely that you should stop. There will be a lot of cases where you don't feel conviction, and you don't know what is right and wrong, then get on your knees and ask the Lord in prayer. Remember, Jesus is always there for us, He cares about us, ask the Lord, don't be afraid to ask Jesus. A lot of times we go to other people, because we want that instant answer, it's usually not the best answer. MillerMan, Jesus is alive and He hears you, He can speak, so don't be afraid to get an answer from Him or feel like He will not answer you.

Why would you want answers from other people if you can get an answer from Jesus. <3

 

[chilehed]

Hi, I'm a relatively new Christian, and I'm quite unsure as to whether or not I am "saved". I've been baptized, but I'm having difficulty finding a church and a specific belief system. I believe in the Bible, and I believe in Christ, and have faith in Him and the beginnings of a good relationship, but I'm troubled.

I've been through this EXACT same difficulty.

The thing is, I'm a sinner... but I'm having difficulty correlating my lifestyle choices with Christendom.

Welcome to the club.

- Is smoking cigarettes a sin?

Sin is an offense against reason, truth, and right conscience; it is failure in genuine love for God and neighbor caused by a perverse attachment to certain goods. It wounds the nature of man and injures human solidarity. It has been defined as "an utterance, a deed, or a desire contrary to the eternal law"

Seems to me that smoking fills that bill to some degree.

- Is living with my girlfriend a sin even though we don't have sex?

It's certainly a near occasion of sin, that is, you're placing yourself in a position that you should know in advance is likely to result in you falling into a serious sin.

It's also a bad example to those who know that you (who are presumably good Christians) are living together and who would reasonably assume that you are engaging in relations. That means that it' scandalous, that is, it's of a nature to induce sin in another, which occasions another's spiritual ruin.

Seems to me that both of those are sins as well.

- I don't believe in speaking in tongues - in fact I find it quite strange and even a little demonic. Yet a majority of the believers I have met accept it and accept prophecy and other spiritual gifts and use it as an excuse for bizarre behavior - I just don't believe it.

I don't believe that God intends to give the majority of us the gift of tongues, and I'm very hesitant to believe that most of those who allegedly receive that gift actually do.

I've attended services in those congragations, and I certainly admire their love of Christ and their desire to do his will... I just supect that there's often a bit of whipped up frenzy involved rather than an actual grace of God in that particular regard.

...I've been baptized, but I'm having difficulty finding a church and a specific belief system....I'm just not sure where to go from here...

Well, I'm sure that every Christian you encounter will recommend his Church - obviously, if he thought another was better he'd jump ship.

I was a Presbyterian for a long time, and then one day I was thinking about the part in the Westminster Confession that says that Christ instituted a government in the hands of Church officers, giving it the authority to call synods and councils and to determine cases of controversy. I realized that if that were true, then that government must still exist today and that it can't be teaching today doctrines that contradict what was taught by the Apsotles -in fact, all of its doctrines must be true because Christ gave it the authority to determine what was true doctrine.

So I studied history to find out what Church hierarchy exists today that has existed since the time of the Apostles. And when I found that Church, I studied its doctrines to find out if they contradicted scripture or if they contradicted each other (which was difficult because I had to make sure they didn't merely contradict my preconceptions - it took a lot of prayer and disciplined application of logic). Then, having satisfied myself on those points, I joined that Church.

So today I'm a Catholic, and for the first time in my life I'm at peace. I can't even begin to describe how intimate my relationship with Christ has become - it's vastly richer than anything I ever dreamed of. I feel like I've been washed by a deep river of living water gushing out from within me, like I'm dining at a table set for a king after living my whole life on moldy bread and stale water.

You might be interested in this thread: http://christianforums.com/showthread.php?t=2381861
You might also be interested in the resources at www.catholic.com (don't miss the radio archives).

 

[LilLamb219]

Hi, I'm a relatively new Christian, and I'm quite unsure as to whether or not I am "saved". I've been baptized, but I'm having difficulty finding a church and a specific belief system. I believe in the Bible, and I believe in Christ, and have faith in Him and the beginnings of a good relationship, but I'm troubled.

Yes, you are saved. You have shown evidence above that God has given you faith to believe in Him so that you may have eternal life.

I think what you are stuck on is Sanctification and not Justification. You are justified by His blood but now are worried about being sanctified as you live your life by grace through faith in Him.

Have you considered a Lutheran church? Pop on by the Theologia Crucis-Lutheran forum and see if it's a good fit

 

[Sketcher]

- Is smoking cigarettes a sin?

Could be. Quitting would be God-honoring for sure.

- Is living with my girlfriend a sin even though we don't have sex?

It's playing with fire between you and your girlfriend, for one. It's going to attract negative attention to you from both inside the church and outside because nobody's going to believe you're not having sex. And it's a bad example to unbelievers and other new believers, besides that. You should work on finding some new living arrangements if you're not ready to marry her.

- I don't believe in speaking in tongues - in fact I find it quite strange and even a little demonic. Yet a majority of the believers I have met accept it and accept prophecy and other spiritual gifts and use it as an excuse for bizarre behavior - I just don't believe it.

I don't believe in tongues the way a lot of charismatics these days do either. I'm not going to call it demonic, but I will say some of their practices concerning tongues are unbiblical.

I haven't yet been to a church that feels like home and haven't yet been to a church where I have felt so moved as to babble in gibberish or start laughing hysterically, and I'm starting to feel like something is wrong with me. It just seems like I can't fit into any church I've attended.

I'm just not sure where to go from here...

It's always going to be part you, part them. We go to church because we don't have it together by ourselves, either in knowledge or in character. We also have to watch for healthy churches that love people and teach the Bible as well. Go to a church where they won't pressure you to speak in tongues, that follows the Bible, and loves people. Stay away from cults - if the pastor's name is part of the name of the actual church, or if they're Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, or "Christian" Scientists, stay away. If they marry gay people, stay away. If they're more concerned with how you look than the fact that you're a child of God, stay away.

 

[wayseer]

Welcome Millerman.

I find I cannot add to the previous posts which are appropriate. You have to make your own call here.

I haven't yet been to a church that feels like home and haven't yet been to a church where I have felt so moved as to babble in gibberish or start laughing hysterically, and I'm starting to feel like something is wrong with me. It just seems like I can't fit into any church I've attended.

I'm just not sure where to go from here...

Finding a church is a trial so there is nothing wrong with you.

If tongues is not your thing then check out the more conservative churches in your area. Ask around a bit. Talk to the Pastors or Ministers in your locality. Do a bit of leg work. But remember you will never find a church that will satisfy you on every point - you have to become somewhat flexible in this matter. Church does not have to be a theological battleground either. If the church members are loving and honest then I find the rest becomes rather academic.

Good hunting.

 

[New_Found_Faith]

I haven't yet been to a church that feels like home and haven't yet been to a church where I have felt so moved as to babble in gibberish or start laughing hysterically, and I'm starting to feel like something is wrong with me. It just seems like I can't fit into any church I've attended.

I'm just not sure where to go from here...

To the part of your post I accidentally removed from the quote; try not to view God in such a legalistic way. Forget the technicalities ('oh, well this could be a sin but I'm not sure...' kind of thing), and just live your life with God. Christ paid the penalties for yours sins, and you should do your best to avoid sinning, with his help. Don't sweat the small stuff, is my point. It'll only hurt your relationship with God.

To respond to the quoted portion; I don't know what kind of Church you're going to, bro. There's nothing wrong with people babbling in gibberish or whatever I guess, but it would make me uncomfortable and is nothing I've experienced in 17 years of Christian experience. Look at more mainstream denominations and see how you like them (ie, Methodist, Lutheran, Anglican, Presbyterian, Catholic, etc.) if these Churches make you uncomfortable.

Just look for your spiritual home and God will bring you one if you put for the effort.

 

[rainbowheydrich]

Sin is to blindly obey something which defies logic and is clearly a method of mind control. For those who are lost, there is hope, there is help:

***exposingchristianity.com***

 

[From Glory to Glory]

Hi, I'm a relatively new Christian, and I'm quite unsure as to whether or not I am "saved". I've been baptized, but I'm having difficulty finding a church and a specific belief system. I believe in the Bible, and I believe in Christ, and have faith in Him and the beginnings of a good relationship, but I'm troubled.

The thing is, I'm a sinner... but I'm having difficulty correlating my lifestyle choices with Christendom. For example:

- Is smoking cigarettes a sin?
- Is living with my girlfriend a sin even though we don't have sex?
- I don't believe in speaking in tongues - in fact I find it quite strange and even a little demonic. Yet a majority of the believers I have met accept it and accept prophecy and other spiritual gifts and use it as an excuse for bizarre behavior - I just don't believe it.

I haven't yet been to a church that feels like home and haven't yet been to a church where I have felt so moved as to babble in gibberish or start laughing hysterically, and I'm starting to feel like something is wrong with me. It just seems like I can't fit into any church I've attended.

I'm just not sure where to go from here...

Hi!

First of all, relax, yes, you are saved! If you trust in Jesus as your Savior and trust Him to forgive your sin and have asked Him to be Lord of your life, you are born again. The very fact that you are concerned about it shows your heart is for Him. Having a church home to identify with is not what saves you...it is faith in Him.

Keep growing in your relationship with Jesus and the Holy Spirit will guide you into all truth and will convict you over time of those things that He wants to root out of your life. It's not like you become a Christian and you never sin again and it's not like if you do sin you will lose your salvation, so don't fear. Ask God to show you what areas of your life need to be repented of and He will. Keep in mind, it is always a process. The main thing is to keep your heart pure towards him and be teachable and listen for His leading. By the way, if you are not having sex with your girlfriend, then that would not be a sin to live with her. Also, just so you know, I lived with my husband for 9 months before we got married and we were sexually active and that WAS a sin, so the Lord convicted us and eventually we learned to abstain before our wedding. We have repented of our past sins, of course, and have been married for 12 years and, in retrospect, if we had to do it over again, we would not have had pre-marital sex, but we were young and disobedient in many ways. Thankfully, God is loving and merciful!

On the tongues note...I was raised Lutheran and always thought people who spoke in tongues were totally "weird" and you do not have to believe in it to be saved, so don't worry about that. However, as you grow closer to the Lord, if the issue of tongues begins to intrigue you, ask Him to teach you about it. About 6 years ago, one night while I was cleaning my basement, the Holy Spirit came upon me in such a dramatic fashion and strange tongues began to flow out of my mouth for hours and hours. I have never felt such joy or peace and I kept saying over and over again "The Bible is true! The Bible is true!" which of course, I had known all along, but to feel like you are living out of the book of Acts is an amazing thing!

God bless you in your journey. We all have a spiritual progression and walk with the Lord and I believe He will make Himself so real to you and show you the depths of His unfailing love.

Pam

 

[warriorbride]

Smoking cigerettes, sometimes God delivers people right away and ohers it takes time. All I can say is God said that when you get saved, your life is no longer your own, your body is now the temple of the holy spirit, not to do with as you please, but it is to be kept holy. Smoking can cause cancer and health problems and someone told me one time, if Jesus walked into your house, would you hide your cigerettes or smoke if he came to visit? Also someone said, How can the holy spirit live inside you when it is filled with smoke? I pray that God take away that filthy habit, and I know that it is hard, but eventually you will want to walk holy and all satan wants to do is kill you with cigerettes. It is just another stronghold and addiction that God can deliver you from, it isn't pleasing to God, God say if you destroy my temple, then I will destroy you. I think he is saying don't deliberately destroy the body with drugs, alcohol, gluttony, which is a sin, or anything that will destroy the temple of God, because it is to be kept holy and you need to have a reverance and see it in that way.

Even if you live with your girlfriend, in the eyes of God, he says to abstain from any form of evil. So even if your girlfiriend is living with you, people will think if she is not leaving in the evening that she is having sex with you. And as a man of God, you two need to separate, because it can cause temptation or just get married. God says that fornicatiors will not enter the kingdom of God and God also says if you cause someone to stumble, you will be judged by God. Aa the man, you need to set the example of Holiness and not be with her anymore. When I got saved, I could no longer sleep with men anymore, I had no desire for alcohol, and I used to drink wine. I get drunk on the Holy Spirit, that's what God says, not on wine.

I wanted you to know that I did not belive in speaking in tongues, but no one ever showed me what tongues were for, power, protection, discernment, so many gifts, like prophecy, and I asked God, if this is really you, then I want all that you have to give, when I opened myself up and read the scriptures in Acts and I understood that tongues was how to speak to God and the enemy could not enter into and that when I didnt know how to pray, that I could pray in tongues and it would be a straight line to God and he would understand. Tongues is also for peace, healing, strength, praising God, so much more. I telll you it's a great gift, after I received tongues, I would ask God to show me his mysteries in the bible and he started giving me teaching and understanding of the word more.

If you are truly saved, you will have a 180 turnaroung in your life, you will be convicted of sin, what's right and wrong, and you will have a joy and peace in your life that you want to tell everyone about Jesus. You will have a hunger for the word and you will be so excited, you wont beable to contain yourself. I would rededicate your life to the Lord, if these things haven't happened. Ask God to come into your heart and ask him to make you and your body holy for his service, to make you to be as like him , to walk and talk and have no desire of the world or it's ways, because God said "Have nothing to do with the world or you are a enemy of Christ."

Don't think that you have to speak in tongues, pray and ask God to lead you to a church by divine appt. and don't be so hard on your self, it takes time, God says that we are all working out our own salvation. But I have to tell you, you have to be accountable to God and you can not be a christian and think that you can still have one foot in the world and one foot in God. God is a jealous over you and it's either all or nothing, he sees your heart and he knows what you struggle with, but if you continue in old ways, then satan will have every legal right to attack you, because you are not following the Bible and Jesus. My God bless you and you know the right thing to do about your girlfriend. Remember, we don't live by the flesh, but by the spirit and I pray that God will direct you to a good church, the devil is just trying to keep you out of a church, so he can get ahold of you again, and God says do not forsake the assembly of the brethern, because you need to grow and mature and you need the support of your brothers.

 

[warriorbride]

Smoking cigerettes, sometimes God delivers people right away and ohers it takes time. All I can say is God said that when you get saved, your life is no longer your own, your body is now the temple of the holy spirit, not to do with as you please, but it is to be kept holy. Smoking can cause cancer and health problems and someone told me one time, if Jesus walked into your house, would you hide your cigerettes or smoke if he came to visit? Also someone said, How can the holy spirit live inside you when it is filled with smoke? I pray that God take away that filthy habit, and I know that it is hard, but eventually you will want to walk holy and all satan wants to do is kill you with cigerettes. It is just another stronghold and addiction that God can deliver you from, it isn't pleasing to God, God say if you destroy my temple, then I will destroy you. I think he is saying don't deliberately destroy the body with drugs, alcohol, gluttony, which is a sin, or anything that will destroy the temple of God, because it is to be kept holy and you need to have a reverance and see it in that way.

Even if you live with your girlfriend, in the eyes of God, he says to abstain from any form of evil. So even if your girlfiriend is living with you, people will think if she is not leaving in the evening that she is having sex with you. And as a man of God, you two need to separate, because it can cause temptation or just get married. God says that fornicatiors will not enter the kingdom of God and God also says if you cause someone to stumble, you will be judged by God. Aa the man, you need to set the example of Holiness and not be with her anymore. When I got saved, I could no longer sleep with men anymore, I had no desire for alcohol, and I used to drink wine. I get drunk on the Holy Spirit, that's what God says, not on wine.

I wanted you to know that I did not belive in speaking in tongues, but no one ever showed me what tongues were for, power, protection, discernment, so many gifts, like prophecy, and I asked God, if this is really you, then I want all that you have to give, when I opened myself up and read the scriptures in Acts and I understood that tongues was how to speak to God and the enemy could not enter into and that when I didnt know how to pray, that I could pray in tongues and it would be a straight line to God and he would understand. Tongues is also for peace, healing, strength, praising God, so much more. I telll you it's a great gift, after I received tongues, I would ask God to show me his mysteries in the bible and he started giving me teaching and understanding of the word more.

If you are truly saved, you will have a 180 turnaroung in your life, you will be convicted of sin, what's right and wrong, and you will have a joy and peace in your life that you want to tell everyone about Jesus. You will have a hunger for the word and you will be so excited, you wont beable to contain yourself. I would rededicate your life to the Lord, if these things haven't happened. Ask God to come into your heart and ask him to make you and your body holy for his service, to make you to be as like him , to walk and talk and have no desire of the world or it's ways, because God said "Have nothing to do with the world or you are a enemy of Christ."

Don't think that you have to speak in tongues, pray and ask God to lead you to a church by divine appt. and don't be so hard on your self, it takes time, God says that we are all working out our own salvation. But I have to tell you, you have to be accountable to God and you can not be a christian and think that you can still have one foot in the world and one foot in God. God is a jealous over you and it's either all or nothing, he sees your heart and he knows what you struggle with, but if you continue in old ways, then satan will have every legal right to attack you, because you are not following the Bible and Jesus. My God bless you and you know the right thing to do about your girlfriend. Remember, we don't live by the flesh, but by the spirit and I pray that God will direct you to a good church, the devil is just trying to keep you out of a church, so he can get ahold of you again, and God says do not forsake the assembly of the brethern, because you need to grow and mature and you need the support of your brothers.