I'm just so afraid

[directory]

Sometimes I want to quit seeking just so I can stop living like this– easier to say that there is no God, that the Bible is a fairy tale, than to live in perpetual fear of God's wrath and Hell and a wasted life and never having a connection to God despite wanting it as hard as I can and simply not being among the elect, simply being hopeless from birth. I want to fill my heart and soul and mind with God's love and love Him with all my heart and soul and mind in return, but my heart and soul feel numb and sluggish, and my mind feels hopelessly inadequate to the task. The Bible tells me that seekers find, so maybe all I need is patience, but I'm tired of feeling almost nothing but terror and dread.

It's like there's a foggy glass wall between God and I, so foggy that I can't tell if it's actually Him on the other side of it, and no matter how hard I hit the wall with my hammer, I can't get so much as a crack out of it, and it's so frustrating– so all I can do is shout "please tear it down" at God, at the God I may or may not see through the glass, through the wall and hoping that if it really is God back there, He'll break the wall down. And the longer it stands there, the more my fear and anxiety mount, the more I feel that the ground could drop out from under me at any moment and hurl me into a pit of pain and there's nothing I can do to make it to the safe floor behind the glass wall unless God opens the way for me and I have no idea if he will and *cries*

I'm sorry. Not really much of a question to this thread, is there? I just needed to vent.

 

[Take Heart]

*hugs directory*
try not to overthink it all. You don't have to be afraid of His wrath- there's no wrath if you put your trust and belief in Jesus Christ and repent He's not someone who's always 'out to get you' once you make one wrong slip up. He wants you to persevere and to pursue Him, even if you may stumble in sin. He knows we're not perfect and can never be perfect. He wants nothing more than to comfort you and show you just how much He truly cares about you. Please don't let the enemy drag you down with its lies. It's sole purpose is to make you doubt God, to be separated from Him, and to make you feel like He's condemning you/hates you. The condemnation comes from the enemy. And God is always pursuing you, wanting to help you and heal all the anxiety, pain, and fear you may have. "Perfect love casts out fear". And God is love. I used to be afraid that I was going to hell and that God was going to sentence me there and was wrath-filled towards me. But now I realize the truth- that there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. ♥ You need to start having faith in His truths more than the enemy's lies. His Word is truth..and when He says He loves you and wants you to persevere..you can count on that. Don't entertain the enemy's lies that only wants to put fear into your heart. God is for you not against you. : )

 

[Winken]

Sometimes I want to quit seeking just so I can stop living like this– easier to say that there is no God, that the Bible is a fairy tale, than to live in perpetual fear of God's wrath and Hell and a wasted life and never having a connection to God despite wanting it as hard as I can and simply not being among the elect, simply being hopeless from birth.

Read Post #2 in this thread. Spirit Reborn gets it.

Now this: You are not among the elect in advance. You become elected when you acknowledge Jesus as Savior. Romans 10:8-13. That's it. No strings attached. Once you do that the Holy Spirit moves in, blocking that old sinful nature that is the home of doubts and fears. No more fear of God's wrath. No more fear of Hell. No more fear of a wasted life. Permanently connected to God because of that One who paid the price for all our sins, Jesus. Our sin-debt is paid in full. Believe it, receive it, rejoice in the peace that passes all understanding.

Read these: John 3:3, John 14:6, John 3:16-17, John 5:24, Ephesians 2:8-9. Faith comes by hearing (experiencing) and hearing (applying) by the Word of God, found only in the Bible.

Be blessed as you submit your doubts and fears to the One who loves you!

 

[brinny]

Bless yer heart (((hug)))

 

[KimT]

Sometimes I want to quit seeking just so I can stop living like this– easier to say that there is no God, that the Bible is a fairy tale, than to live in perpetual fear of God's wrath and Hell and a wasted life and never having a connection to God despite wanting it as hard as I can and simply not being among the elect, simply being hopeless from birth. I want to fill my heart and soul and mind with God's love and love Him with all my heart and soul and mind in return, but my heart and soul feel numb and sluggish, and my mind feels hopelessly inadequate to the task. The Bible tells me that seekers find, so maybe all I need is patience, but I'm tired of feeling almost nothing but terror and dread.

It's like there's a foggy glass wall between God and I, so foggy that I can't tell if it's actually Him on the other side of it, and no matter how hard I hit the wall with my hammer, I can't get so much as a crack out of it, and it's so frustrating– so all I can do is shout "please tear it down" at God, at the God I may or may not see through the glass, through the wall and hoping that if it really is God back there, He'll break the wall down. And the longer it stands there, the more my fear and anxiety mount, the more I feel that the ground could drop out from under me at any moment and hurl me into a pit of pain and there's nothing I can do to make it to the safe floor behind the glass wall unless God opens the way for me and I have no idea if he will and *cries*

I'm sorry. Not really much of a question to this thread, is there? I just needed to vent.

The GOOD NEWS is that Jesus died so that you would be saved. If you believe this and repent from your sins (make an effort to avoid sinning and are sorry for the sins you did commit), you are given the gift of salvation. You do not have to earn it. You are welcome to receive it in the name of Jesus Christ who died for everyone who accepts His gift.

 

[Steven Wood]

Sometimes I want to quit seeking just so I can stop living like this– easier to say that there is no God, that the Bible is a fairy tale, than to live in perpetual fear of God's wrath and Hell and a wasted life and never having a connection to God despite wanting it as hard as I can and simply not being among the elect, simply being hopeless from birth. I want to fill my heart and soul and mind with God's love and love Him with all my heart and soul and mind in return, but my heart and soul feel numb and sluggish, and my mind feels hopelessly inadequate to the task. The Bible tells me that seekers find, so maybe all I need is patience, but I'm tired of feeling almost nothing but terror and dread.

It's like there's a foggy glass wall between God and I, so foggy that I can't tell if it's actually Him on the other side of it, and no matter how hard I hit the wall with my hammer, I can't get so much as a crack out of it, and it's so frustrating– so all I can do is shout "please tear it down" at God, at the God I may or may not see through the glass, through the wall and hoping that if it really is God back there, He'll break the wall down. And the longer it stands there, the more my fear and anxiety mount, the more I feel that the ground could drop out from under me at any moment and hurl me into a pit of pain and there's nothing I can do to make it to the safe floor behind the glass wall unless God opens the way for me and I have no idea if he will and *cries*

I'm sorry. Not really much of a question to this thread, is there? I just needed to vent.

I know how you feel. Almost to a tee. When I was first saved I read as much as I could about everything I could, I prayed and prayed and felt I got nothing back, always afraid I wasn't doing enough. I still feel I'm not doing enough. There is so much in this world it's send you into a nose dive. I have good news though. Jesus died for you so you don't have to fear hell. If you have been confessed, you won't see hell and GOD's wrath. There's nothing to worry about. You've been saved by grace through faith. What you and I do won't save us nor will what anyone does save them. The numb and sluggish I think everyone goes through. I don't know anyone that hasn't, I see it as trials and tribulations not GOD hiding himself as a punishment but more the same way Job was tested by the Devil and even Jesus himself. Life has a way of trying to take good things from us and trying to substitute them with junk we think we want but ends up really hurting us. Just remember that sometimes when we can't move forward the best thing for us to do is to stop and take a breath. Stand still and rest a while. Don't beat yourself up. You're still saved and loved friend, Just wait patiently for GOD and keep praying with open heart. Peter denied Christ 3 times, Thomas doubted until he saw the wounds and yet they didn't feel GOD's wrath or go to hell, they heard GOD's call when he called them in his time. You will too.

 

[terryjohn]

We say we haven't found God and so we have little faith or no faith, and yet we see injustices that enrage us, kindness that make us cry. Evil that makes us want to go to war, love that makes us want to lay down our lives, and in all of these, God says, see, you both know me and have seen my love. Without God, we would be lacking these God given spiritual insights. Don't say you have never cried or never been angered by the evil of men? Whatever is beautiful, noble, good,lovely, think on such things

 

[Messy2]

Just make sure you are among the whosoever.
Whosoever shall call upon the Name of the Lord shall be saved.

 

[Goatee]

Pick up your cross and follow Jesus. Knowing that God is carrying you, carrying your cross!

It is not an easy journey but you are not alone. Jesus has his arms open to you. He wants you to walk towards him.

God bless you

 

[orangeness365]

Pray to God that He changes your heart and gives you a love for Him.

 

[Aidan K]

Jesus loved the underdog more than everyone else. His closes companions weren't clerics or scholars, in fact he eschewed the company of such people. No, His closest companions were illiterate fishermen, shepherds and a prostitute. No matter how low you feel, or how undeserving, rest assured He knows you by name and has a plan for you that only you can fulfill

 

[aiki]

Sometimes I want to quit seeking just so I can stop living like this– easier to say that there is no God, that the Bible is a fairy tale, than to live in perpetual fear of God's wrath and Hell and a wasted life and never having a connection to God despite wanting it as hard as I can and simply not being among the elect, simply being hopeless from birth. I want to fill my heart and soul and mind with God's love and love Him with all my heart and soul and mind in return, but my heart and soul feel numb and sluggish, and my mind feels hopelessly inadequate to the task. The Bible tells me that seekers find, so maybe all I need is patience, but I'm tired of feeling almost nothing but terror and dread.

How do you know you aren't one of the elect?

What do your feelings have to do with whether or not God loves you? In God's economy of things, feelings are to follow the mind and will. You perceive with your mind the truth of God's love for you, and by an act of your will you receive it for yourself. In time, your feelings will fall into line with what you know is true and have chosen to accept. No where will you find in Scripture the requirement that you feel saved, or feel deep love for God, or feel like one of the elect in order to be saved. It is not your feelings God wants to transform; it is your mind He wants to change.

Matthew 22:37-38 (NKJV)
37 Jesus said to him, "'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.'
38 This is the first and great commandment.

Romans 8:5-6 (NKJV)
5 For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit.
6 For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.

Romans 12:2 (NKJV)
2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

Romans 12:16 (NKJV)
16 Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion.

Romans 15:5-6 (NKJV)
5 Now may the God of patience and comfort grant you to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus,
6 that you may with one mind and one mouth glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Ephesians 4:20-23 (NKJV)
20 But you have not so learned Christ,
21 if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught by Him, as the truth is in Jesus:
22 that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts,
23 and be renewed in the spirit of your mind,

And so on.

It's like there's a foggy glass wall between God and I, so foggy that I can't tell if it's actually Him on the other side of it, and no matter how hard I hit the wall with my hammer, I can't get so much as a crack out of it, and it's so frustrating– so all I can do is shout "please tear it down" at God, at the God I may or may not see through the glass, through the wall and hoping that if it really is God back there, He'll break the wall down. And the longer it stands there, the more my fear and anxiety mount, the more I feel that the ground could drop out from under me at any moment and hurl me into a pit of pain and there's nothing I can do to make it to the safe floor behind the glass wall unless God opens the way for me and I have no idea if he will and *cries*

Well, this is a prime example of the problem with letting what you feel dictate what is real and true. What you've described here is completely false. God is not on the other side of an impenetrable, foggy wall. He is as near as thought to you. There is no place in the universe He has made where He is not fully present. And you are shouting at God to tear down a wall that doesn't exist. You may feel it exists, but in reality God is not blocked from you by any wall at all. He does not act to tear it down because it is non-existent.

Will God "open the way" for you? My dear, the way stands open already and has been open all along. You have only to step through it! God makes the offer of salvation to all who will take it. God has not excluded you; you have excluded yourself!

Matthew 11:28-30 (NKJV)
28 Come to Me, ALL you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."

Revelation 3:20 (NKJV)
20 Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If ANYONE hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me.

2 Peter 3:9 (NKJV)
9 The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that ANY should perish but that all should come to repentance.

1 Timothy 2:3-6 (NKJV)
3 For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior,
4 who desires ALL men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.
5 For there is one God and one Mediator between God and men, the Man Christ Jesus,
6 who gave Himself a ransom for ALL, to be testified in due time,

So, what are you waiting for? Now is the accepted time. Now is the day of your salvation!

Selah.

 

[SarahsKnight]

Sometimes I want to quit seeking just so I can stop living like this– easier to say that there is no God, that the Bible is a fairy tale, than to live in perpetual fear of God's wrath and Hell and a wasted life and never having a connection to God despite wanting it as hard as I can and simply not being among the elect, simply being hopeless from birth.

Good news, Directory. You can keep seeking, believe there is a God, believe that the Bible is not just a fairy tale, and also need not live in fear of Hell at the same time. There is a wrath from God against unbelief, yes, but it isn't eternal torment in Hell. I say this because it sounds like it may be the fear of this, or the fear of not "being among the elect", that keeps you from feeling sure of God and your faith in Him. Don't let Hell theories - no matter how fearsome-sounding - stop you. You don't need to be motivated by fear of anything in order to believe in Christ or to refuse to seek and believe. (I certainly hope you choose the former, though. )

More importantly than that, though, listen to the other's posts here. Especially Messy's and Spirit Reborn's wisdom. There is no condemnation for those in Jesus Christ, and perfect love casts out fear.

 

[fat wee robin]

Sometimes I want to quit seeking just so I can stop living like this– easier to say that there is no God, that the Bible is a fairy tale, than to live in perpetual fear of God's wrath and Hell and a wasted life and never having a connection to God despite wanting it as hard as I can and simply not being among the elect, simply being hopeless from birth. I want to fill my heart and soul and mind with God's love and love Him with all my heart and soul and mind in return, but my heart and soul feel numb and sluggish, and my mind feels hopelessly inadequate to the task. The Bible tells me that seekers find, so maybe all I need is patience, but I'm tired of feeling almost nothing but terror and dread.

It's like there's a foggy glass wall between God and I, so foggy that I can't tell if it's actually Him on the other side of it, and no matter how hard I hit the wall with my hammer, I can't get so much as a crack out of it, and it's so frustrating– so all I can do is shout "please tear it down" at God, at the God I may or may not see through the glass, through the wall and hoping that if it really is God back there, He'll break the wall down. And the longer it stands there, the more my fear and anxiety mount, the more I feel that the ground could drop out from under me at any moment and hurl me into a pit of pain and there's nothing I can do to make it to the safe floor behind the glass wall unless God opens the way for me and I have no idea if he will and *cries*

I'm sorry. Not really much of a question to this thread, is there? I just needed to vent.

Do not try to hold the idea of God in your head ,but speak to Him ,cry out to Him as if He was in front of you ,above you .Keep talking from your Heart ,telling Him what you
feel and how much you need Him to help you .Do this for hours if neccessary often on your kness ,especially before bed .You will sleep like a baby and over time you will be comforted by His loving Light .

 

[jenny1972]

Sometimes I want to quit seeking just so I can stop living like this– easier to say that there is no God, that the Bible is a fairy tale, than to live in perpetual fear of God's wrath and Hell and a wasted life and never having a connection to God despite wanting it as hard as I can and simply not being among the elect, simply being hopeless from birth. I want to fill my heart and soul and mind with God's love and love Him with all my heart and soul and mind in return, but my heart and soul feel numb and sluggish, and my mind feels hopelessly inadequate to the task. The Bible tells me that seekers find, so maybe all I need is patience, but I'm tired of feeling almost nothing but terror and dread.

fear insecurity and feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy do not come from God they are a result of negativity in your environment , identify where these thoughts are coming from why do you feel this way and think this way where does it come from ? surround yourself with positive people not negative people and negative teachings of doom , let it all go and just seek out God

 

[ToBeLoved]

It sounds like one of the main feelings that you have is fear. Why?

God tells us in His Word that we should FEAR NOt for He is with us. Give Him your yoke (burdens), do not become heavy with doubt. The Bible contains so many versese about who you ARE in Christ. Take hold of the promises that He gives His children.

He does not want us walking in fear. That is your own self doubt talking to you. Rebute it. Tell it to go away.

 

[cuja1]

Sometimes I want to quit seeking just so I can stop living like this– easier to say that there is no God, that the Bible is a fairy tale, than to live in perpetual fear of God's wrath and Hell and a wasted life and never having a connection to God despite wanting it as hard as I can and simply not being among the elect, simply being hopeless from birth. I want to fill my heart and soul and mind with God's love and love Him with all my heart and soul and mind in return, but my heart and soul feel numb and sluggish, and my mind feels hopelessly inadequate to the task. The Bible tells me that seekers find, so maybe all I need is patience, but I'm tired of feeling almost nothing but terror and dread.

It's like there's a foggy glass wall between God and I, so foggy that I can't tell if it's actually Him on the other side of it, and no matter how hard I hit the wall with my hammer, I can't get so much as a crack out of it, and it's so frustrating– so all I can do is shout "please tear it down" at God, at the God I may or may not see through the glass, through the wall and hoping that if it really is God back there, He'll break the wall down. And the longer it stands there, the more my fear and anxiety mount, the more I feel that the ground could drop out from under me at any moment and hurl me into a pit of pain and there's nothing I can do to make it to the safe floor behind the glass wall unless God opens the way for me and I have no idea if he will and *cries*

I'm sorry. Not really much of a question to this thread, is there? I just needed to vent.

Sorry you are feeling this way. I feel that way sometimes too.

What I did in this situation was just stop trying and stop worrying about it. It dawned on me that no matter how much I worried about hell and doing what God wanted, it didn't seem to help. It wasn't going to save me from hell, and it made me not want to do what God wants.

It seems like when I stopped beating my head against a wall, God was able to talk to me more clearly. I could hear him saying that I need to pray to Him so that I have strength and direction.

He keeps talking to you, that's why you keep thinking about Him. But the devil likes to turn it all inside out and make you worry. Just let God break the wall down. He will in His time. He uses our trials to teach us things. The more open you are to learning what He wants to teach you, the quicker you will learn. Keep praying and ask others for prayers.

 

[TheyCallMeDave]

Sometimes I want to quit seeking just so I can stop living like this– easier to say that there is no God, that the Bible is a fairy tale, than to live in perpetual fear of God's wrath and Hell and a wasted life and never having a connection to God despite wanting it as hard as I can and simply not being among the elect, simply being hopeless from birth. I want to fill my heart and soul and mind with God's love and love Him with all my heart and soul and mind in return, but my heart and soul feel numb and sluggish, and my mind feels hopelessly inadequate to the task. The Bible tells me that seekers find, so maybe all I need is patience, but I'm tired of feeling almost nothing but terror and dread.

It's like there's a foggy glass wall between God and I, so foggy that I can't tell if it's actually Him on the other side of it, and no matter how hard I hit the wall with my hammer, I can't get so much as a crack out of it, and it's so frustrating– so all I can do is shout "please tear it down" at God, at the God I may or may not see through the glass, through the wall and hoping that if it really is God back there, He'll break the wall down. And the longer it stands there, the more my fear and anxiety mount, the more I feel that the ground could drop out from under me at any moment and hurl me into a pit of pain and there's nothing I can do to make it to the safe floor behind the glass wall unless God opens the way for me and I have no idea if he will and *cries*

I'm sorry. Not really much of a question to this thread, is there? I just needed to vent.

Sounds like you came out of a lot of legalism and fear teaching ; the only people who truly need be fearful are those who shunned God all their life and refused Jesus flat out. If that's you, then you can change that in a moment. If that's not you, then you need not fear God for he loves you and has brought you into his family. You are hence a child of God , loved, adored by him, and have a very wonderful eternity planned by him for you. That's something to rejoice about and to have great joy about. And....don't allow Satan to cause doubt in your mind . Instead trust on Gods promises for that is the real truth . See you in heaven ?