My boyfriend and I have known each other our whole lives, we were both raised in church (different ones) and we have recently started courting. I am personally non-denominational, but he was raised Lutheran, and has been a part of the Church of Christ for the past 15 or so years. I'm a tongue talking, word quoting, bible thumping, living life in Jesus name "CHARISMATIC", and he is extremely "private" about his faith, and very conservative when it comes to prayer, praise, etc... I like gospel & contemporary Christian Music, he'd rather listen to the battle hymn of the republic! Needless to say, we are total opposites... I love to express my love, and thankfulness to The Lord, and that makes him very uncomfortable for whatever reason. Now I am not the loud lady in church, but I believe in the Acts Church! If he & I don't find common ground, idk what's going to become of our relationship... I guess I just need support
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I'm Charismatic He's Conservative HELP!!!!
- Thread starter daddysgirl2004
- Start date
We were just having a discussion about being unequally yoked.
One of the topics that was mentioned was incompatibility in faith.
Just because two people have accepted Christ as their savior doesn't make them automatically 100% compatible.
Even as Christians I think we can be un-equally yoked in the sense that by being yoked together in marriage how much work will you be able to do to His glory if your views are so different?
If he were your husband he would be the authority of your household wouldn't he?
Will you be able to submit to your husband the way wives are called to do in the Bible with such different beliefs?
I'm not trying to sway you one way or another. It's just that's the reason I found I couldn't bring myself to date a Catholic man.
Edit: If you are able to put in the effort and love each other through your differences it can totally work. It won't be easy by any stretch of the imagination. But it can be made to work.
One of the topics that was mentioned was incompatibility in faith.
Just because two people have accepted Christ as their savior doesn't make them automatically 100% compatible.
Even as Christians I think we can be un-equally yoked in the sense that by being yoked together in marriage how much work will you be able to do to His glory if your views are so different?
If he were your husband he would be the authority of your household wouldn't he?
Will you be able to submit to your husband the way wives are called to do in the Bible with such different beliefs?
I'm not trying to sway you one way or another. It's just that's the reason I found I couldn't bring myself to date a Catholic man.
Edit: If you are able to put in the effort and love each other through your differences it can totally work. It won't be easy by any stretch of the imagination. But it can be made to work.
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Luther073082
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Honestly I'm a conservative Lutheran and I would never EVER EVER marry a Charasmatic.
Its not because I think I'm better then they are. Although I do think that I have the correct doctrines of as taught by scripture and Christ and their doctrines where they disagree (which is most everywhere) are heretical and heterodox.
But honestly I would have nothing in common with a Charasmatic. So there is no point in trying.
Sorry
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VintageDon
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A Christ-centric marriage will have your faith at the very center of it. You live under Christ, as partners. If your faith differs enough to cause such a clash, it's going to affect the very thing that you MUST keep first in your life: Christ and your faith. Everything hangs from that.
Thankful also makes a valid point on the spiritual head of the house. Disclaimer: this has nothing to do with a man warping this Scripture to equal controlling his wife ... such men would do well to look to the Scriptures warning him against not cherishing his wife, putting her before him, and how failure to do so stacks up some huge negatives for him. There will be some real issues with your husband taking spiritual stewardship: he either has to compromise his faith at some point, or compromise yours. Also, you lose the power of agreement here on some issues.
None of this is said to discourage you, but rather equip you going into it, and give you food for thought and spiritual strategy. I will be praying for you.
Thankful also makes a valid point on the spiritual head of the house. Disclaimer: this has nothing to do with a man warping this Scripture to equal controlling his wife ... such men would do well to look to the Scriptures warning him against not cherishing his wife, putting her before him, and how failure to do so stacks up some huge negatives for him. There will be some real issues with your husband taking spiritual stewardship: he either has to compromise his faith at some point, or compromise yours. Also, you lose the power of agreement here on some issues.
None of this is said to discourage you, but rather equip you going into it, and give you food for thought and spiritual strategy. I will be praying for you.
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Agree. As a conservative Lutheran, my views (which I believe are the Biblical ones) are so radically different from charismatics that I would never, ever consider dating one.
Good thing I found myself a nice, conservative, Lutheran guy...
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Inkachu
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Christian couples who are from different denominations need to settle this sort of thing up front, to avoid grief later on. I say it repeatedly, just both people being "Christian" does not mean they'll be compatible. The Christian label encompasses a VAST array of beliefs and lifestyles.
FWIW Don and I aren't from the same denoms. That concerned me a little at first, but after talking with him, listening to him speak about his beliefs and his faith, I realized we were almost dead-on similar with what we both believe.
And to the OP: if you find that your beliefs are just too different for you two to really feel "united" in your faith, I don't think there's any shame in walking away. It's CRUCIAL (IMHO) for a couple to be united in faith, not just "you believe your stuff, I'll believe my stuff". That's what I think, anyway.
FWIW Don and I aren't from the same denoms. That concerned me a little at first, but after talking with him, listening to him speak about his beliefs and his faith, I realized we were almost dead-on similar with what we both believe.
And to the OP: if you find that your beliefs are just too different for you two to really feel "united" in your faith, I don't think there's any shame in walking away. It's CRUCIAL (IMHO) for a couple to be united in faith, not just "you believe your stuff, I'll believe my stuff". That's what I think, anyway.
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Agreed. Talk about what you both really, honestly believe. Talk about church attendance, talk about your personal prayer lives, etc.
I'm Anglican, and my boyfriend is Orthodox, but when we talk about religion, we end up agreeing on darn near everything. We've agreed that I will have my own time and space for prayer (I'm very private about it,) and he totally respects that. I do think he mentioned icons and incense and stuff - pfft, no problem (I like the smells, anyway.) I'll go to my church, he'll go to his church. We've also agreed that our children will be raised in his church. I'm also loads more expressive, and have been known to sing hymns in spontaneous joy and love.
He says it's cute. 
I think that you COULD be in a slightly similar situation. He could pray in private, if that would make him feel more comfortable. You could do the same (and therefore be as expressive as you wish). You could come to some agreement on mutual prayer. The music shouldn't be a huge deal - honestly, both forms of music can be very pretty.
The idea is to communicate NOW. You might be pleasantly surprised by the arrangements you come up with.
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dayhiker
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Ya, you are right to take notice of your differences. You can both use those differences to say this isn't going to work. The concerns posted above and your own can give a reason to say lets not go forward with the relationship.
I'm Charismatic/Pentecostal and I date an Episcopal lady. I get along with our differences better than she does. I've attended many churches over the years and see the love that each group has for Jesus. Since I figure I'll be living with all of them when I get to heaven and since Jesus is present in each of their lives and church I figure I'll try to be like Jesus and be comfortable at each churches service I go to. Now always easy, but for the most part I've learned to do it.
The implication of that is if you two can each learn to accept the others church as an expression of worship and become comfortable with each others Christian expression then I think it can work. But it would be good to learn to appreciate the others church before you get married.
I'm Charismatic/Pentecostal and I date an Episcopal lady. I get along with our differences better than she does. I've attended many churches over the years and see the love that each group has for Jesus. Since I figure I'll be living with all of them when I get to heaven and since Jesus is present in each of their lives and church I figure I'll try to be like Jesus and be comfortable at each churches service I go to. Now always easy, but for the most part I've learned to do it.
The implication of that is if you two can each learn to accept the others church as an expression of worship and become comfortable with each others Christian expression then I think it can work. But it would be good to learn to appreciate the others church before you get married.
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I'm guessing that you won't be attending the same church. The bottom line is one of you will have to change if you are to fulfill your full potential in God. The second piece of bad news is that it has to be you. Are you prepared to do that!
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