I'm a new member looking for answers

[looking4answers89]

I believe in Jesus Christ, the savior of all mankind, the son of God in heaven. I have grown up in a Christian home since I was born, I've gone to church. I've been through ups and downs in my faith. I find myself here in "Struggles with sexuality" because that's where my current struggle lies...in my sexuality. But I wonder if this is because of my struggle with accepting Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I guess the key word there is "my". I am dating a Christian boyfriend who is also struggling with his sexuality. It's our shared problem because we are doing things together I have to question him in this because he claims to be a Christian, and he has grown up in the same sort of environment, going to church. His dad and my dad are similar in that his dad almost was a pastor, and my dad was an elder at church for a while. This is all to say that my boyfriend and I find ourselves in a very interesting situation. We are very sexually attracted to each other. The attraction goes beyond that because I love who he is. I can't speak for him, but he does let me know how much he loves who i am. Is there something going on where he is falling out of faith and I am falling out of faith and we are free falling together straight to hell? If someone were to ask me my salvation story, it wasn't a cookie cutter shaped salvation. It was very me-shaped. Jesus came to me and he fit perfectly. But maybe I need something more definite than that?

I've written a lot, probably more than I would speak in a face to face conversation. My parents don't know. I don't want them to know, because they don't talk to me about their sex life. Why would I?

 

[GodbetheGlory]

Dont worry so much. You're saved, God loves you, and you're not going to hell. Many people in their late teens and early 20's have these concerns.

 

[Johnnz]

You are both normal, sexually mature young people. Our sexuality was designed to get us mating so we could go out and fill the earth. It's not evil to be sexual and to feel sexually towards someone you love. We do need at act responsibly though and that requires some sensible information, some solid thinking and deciding about your values.

When there has been little information or open discussion about sexual issues then our sexuality tends to become repressed rather than integrated. Then, we risk a sudden breach of standards when we experience some degree of sexual arousal. I susppect that's where you are at now.

John
NZ

 

[ezeric]

Dear looking4answers89

Everything that comes from GOD comes as a gift.

We thank HIM for every good and perfect gift comes from GOD. see James 1:17

We are made with 'GOD given' appetites but we are also born with a 'Sin nature' that only wants to destroy you and it (Satan is the 'Sin' nature) opposes GOD SPIRIT (which is in you, and in anyone that has CHRIST). See Galatians 5 & 6


And GOD'S gifts (like any gifts) are enjoyed - they are good, pleasing, beneficial.

Using food, sleep, sex, or any other gifts from GOD in their proper place is freeing - beautiful and really amazing.

But, when used wrongly - they master us, and they become sin. (Satan ruling over us). When we are told - "don't let sin (this is a person) rule over you" Romans 6:12

LOVE is the benchmark - LOVE is the Answer.
basically if you love you will not sin!

It is impossible for love to be "me' focused. That is the sinful nature and that love turned inward which is lust.

Love will only do what is right and proper for the other person.
That is all JESUS has ever done for you, is out of LOVE - what's best for you.
His laws are all out of love - whats best for you.

So, watch that you don't fall into the trap. When you do it the right way, you wouldn't need to ask any questions, you won't feel (or shouldn't feel) any guilt or worry - because its done in love.

Love for who?

How about love and respect for your parents?
Or his parents?
Or him?
Or yourself?
Or GOD?

You don't want anything to master you.
Sin shall not rule over your body.

For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.
see Romans 6:14

Under GOD'S grace you receive Power over sin. Meaning the sin nature which is the devil producing sin in you or manifesting himself through sins in you.

That sinful nature is not you. Paul taught it was 'sin' doing it.

For sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, deceived me
As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me.

How do we overcome and live HIS LIFE - abundant life?

Recognize that the sin nature and you died (at the cross) and of course in death (which means separation) you are now no longer obligated to the sinful nature.


For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live. see Romans 8:13

Check your motives - remember its not sin to be attracted to each other or desire to be with one another, or get married.

But doing what the sinful nature wants will bring destruction.
Doing what (in your own heart) you already want to do (which is please GOD) will bring life and peace.

Tough times and exciting times as well.
Pray and look forward to marriage as GOD directs (at the appropriate time).

Again, how will I know the appropriate time?

What does love say?

Pursue LOVE - 1 Corinthians 14:1

-Eric