I'm a Christian. Now what?

[Eishiba]

I'm beginning to read the Bible. The only problem is I don't really know what to do. I read something and then I'm like ok now what? I pray for a few minutes and thats about it. I don't really know what I should read in the Bible. I find myself resorting and preferring online teachings and such rather than just reading the Bible. With the internet, one can find places where there are small lectures or teachings and then its almost like church. You read it and take it to heart.

Also this is REALLY off subject but in the Bible when Onan slept with Tamar when God told him to and he spilled his seed and all. Why did God tell Onan to sleep with a woman to whom he was not married? Wasnt that a sin in itself to sleep with her?

 

[Bible2]

Eishiba said in post 1:

I'm a Christian. Now what?

Once we become Christians, to help keep up our relationship with God, we should pray to him every day, such as with the Lord's Prayer (Mt. 6:9-13), praising & worshipping him, confessing our sins to him, asking him for what we need today, & thanking him for all he's given us (Philip. 4:6). And throughout the day we should immediately bring to him in prayer anything we become worried about at anytime (Philip. 4:6-7).

We should also fellowship with other Christians every day (Heb. 3:13, 10:25), at least in some fashion (Mt. 18:20), such as on this forum, being exhorted by them & exhorting them in turn (Heb. 3:13).

We also need to examine ourselves to make sure we're truly in the faith (2 Cor. 13:5, Prov. 28:26, 14:12). The way to do this is to read every word of the Bible (Heb. 4:12, Mt. 4:4) & see if we accept everything it teaches as having come from God (Jn. 8:47, 2 Tim. 3:16). For just as a true faith will initially come from reading (or hearing) what the Bible teaches (Rom. 10:17, 2 Tim. 3:15), so we can know we're remaining in the true faith if we continue to believe everything the Bible teaches came from God (Jn. 8:31b, 2 Tim. 4:2-4, 1 Tim. 4:1, Mk. 8:35-38).

In order to have any real relationship with Jesus & God the Father & the Holy Spirit (Mt. 28:19), most importantly we must believe the right things about Jesus (Jn. 14:6-7): that he's God the Word made flesh (Jn. 1:1,14), that he's the Christ (1 Jn. 5:1, 2:22), & that he's the only begotten (only born) Son of God (Jn. 3:16,36, 1 Jn. 2:23), meaning he's the only person ever born without any human father (Lk. 1:34-35). And we must believe Jesus lived a perfectly sinless life (Heb. 4:15, 2 Cor. 5:21) & so he could die on the Cross for our sins & rise from the dead on the 3rd day (1 Cor. 15:1-4). He rose & will remain forever in an immortal flesh & bone human body (Lk. 24:39, 2 Jn. 1:7), as our eternally-human high priest/mediator (1 Tim. 2:5, Heb. 2:16-17, 7:24-26).

Once we come into faith in Jesus, we must obey him & God the Father & the Holy Spirit by repenting from all our sins & getting water-immersion (burial) baptized into Jesus (Acts 2:38, Rom. 6:3-5, Gal. 3:27). Then we can get hands laid on us to receive Holy Spirit baptism (Acts 8:17) & 1 or more of the Holy Spirit's wonderful gifts (Acts 19:6, 1 Cor. 12:8-10). Then, washed from our sins by water baptism (Acts 22:16) & empowered by the Holy Spirit within us (Acts 1:8, Eph. 3:16), we must each & every day for the rest of our lives deny ourselves, take up our crosses, & follow Jesus (Lk. 9:23, 2 Cor. 5:15), by continuing in the faith to the end (Heb. 3:6,12,14, 6:4-8, Jn. 15:6, 2 Tim. 2:12), by repenting from every sin we might commit (Heb. 10:26-29, 1 Cor. 9:27, Lk. 12:45-46), & by doing the particular spiritual works which he's given us as individuals to do (Mk. 13:34, Rom. 12:6-8, Titus 3:8).

But if we as believers wrongly employ our free will to refuse to do these things, we can't expect to have any continued real relationship with Jesus & God the Father & the Holy Spirit. For a continued real relationship with them requires we not only continue to believe in them but also continue to obey them (Jn. 15:10, 14:21,23). Faith without works is dead (Jas. 2:20) & cannot ultimately save us (Jas. 2:14-26, Rom. 2:6-8, Mt. 7:21, Heb. 5:9, Rev. 22:14).

 

[Bible2]

Eishiba said in post 1:

I don't really know what I should read in the Bible.

Everything (Mt. 4:4, 2 Tim. 3:16-4:4).

One way to read everything in the Bible is to think of it as 7 volumes:

1. Genesis to Deuteronomy
2. Joshua to Esther
3. Job to Song of Solomon
4. Isaiah to Malachi
5. Matthew to Acts
6. Romans to Philemon
7. Hebrews to Revelation

You can read a chapter in each volume every day. This will keep you current in every part of the Bible. There won't be any part you haven't read recently enough to remember what it says. When you reach the end of a volume, simply start again at the 1st chapter of that volume. In this way, you'll be cycling through smaller volumes like #6 & #7 much more often than larger volumes like #2, but the smaller volumes are so much more dense with doctrine it can be profitable to read them over & over more often.

Also, you can listen to recordings of people reading the Bible, whenever you need to keep your eyes on something else while you listen (such as keeping your eyes on the road while you drive, or on a cutting board while you're preparing food, or on your clippers while you're trimming a hedge). In this way, you can listen to the Bible throughout the day, whenever you don't need to be thinking about something else (such as at your workplace). And you can listen to the Bible even while you're going to sleep, so that it will become part of even your subconscious mind.

I find myself resorting and preferring online teachings and such rather than just reading the Bible.

The best way to study the Bible, as a whole, is simply to read every word of it for yourself (Mt. 4:4) over & over again. It ends up explaining itself once every word of it has become completely engrained in your memory, & you see all the connections between verses re: something in 1 place in the Bible & other verses re: that same thing in other places in the Bible. It's by comparing & combining related verses from different places in the Bible that we arrive at correct doctrine (Isa. 28:9-10, 1 Cor. 2:13).

Why did God tell Onan to sleep with a woman to whom he was not married?

He was to marry her (Gen. 38:8, cf. Deut. 25:5-6).

 

[tturt]

This is something I've learned - get my mind off myself and others and spend time deliberately focusing on Yahweh by thanksgiving, praising Him, playing some music ((like religious Christmas lyrics that are about Him), meditating (means to focus) on Scripture such as Psa 145, thinking about some of His titles, names, and attributes and singing a song about Him to an audience of One. Recommendations based on such Scriptures as Matt 6:6, I Thess 5:17; John 4:24; Psa 16:11; 46:10, 69:30; 71:23; and 100:4

 

[Radagast]

I'm beginning to read the Bible. The only problem is I don't really know what to do.

Welcome to God's family!

Start by reading the New Testament. And going to church.

Also this is REALLY off subject but in the Bible when Onan slept with Tamar when God told him to and he spilled his seed and all. Why did God tell Onan to sleep with a woman to whom he was not married? Wasnt that a sin in itself to sleep with her?

That's way, way down the list of important stuff, but in the Old Testament, one of God's rules for looking after widows with no children was that a close relative of her husband should marry her and give her a son, who would inherit her original husband's property, and grow up to look after his mother (cf Deut. 25:5-10). The story of Ruth also involves this rule.

Onan sinned because he wanted his brother not to have an heir -- which would mean he would get the property. He didn't care about Tamar's future, although he did want the selfish enjoyment of sex with her.

 

[Canterbury Trail]

I'm beginning to read the Bible. The only problem is I don't really know what to do.

My advise would be to try and get the big picture of the Bible because that will help when you read individual books. I have found Vaughan Roberts' God's Big Picture to be valuable in this regard. I'd also suggest buying the New Bible Commentary to help when you come across difficult passages.

Hope that helps

 

[timf]

I'm a Christian. Now what?
The only problem is I don't really know what to do.

For starters, you are asking the right questions.

Consider the purpose of Christian leaders;

Ephesians 4:11-14 And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ: Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ: That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive;

We are supposed to grow to the "full measure of Christ".

One doesn't even have to be a Christian to see how far short of this that Christianity falls. Christians settle for a type of religion of comfort. We allow ourselves to be turned from seeking after the Lord to a sort of "minimum requirement" Christianity.

The key to the Christian life is to grow in love. Love is defined in 1 Corinthians chapter 13 as essentially selflessness. The transition from selfishness to selfless love is made as we abandon the flesh and walk by the Spirit (Galatians 5).

Walking by the Spirit is walking in truth. The key to walking in truth is humility. God gives more grace to the humble (James 4).

The key to truth is the Bible, which is truth. The Bible describes a "washing by the word". This is an interesting process because it happens over time just like how many waves cleanse a beach.

When we first start reading the Bible there are many parts that are outright boring. Many that are confusing, and some even seem contradictory. I have found it helpful to read through the Bible with a highlighter. Sometimes there are passages that stand out to me. Sometimes I have found a significant passage right between two others I had highlighted previously.

Some would steer the new Christian into classroom study. I think the older method of apprenticeship is a better way to grow in faith. You may want to find an older wiser Christian who clearly shows the light and love of Jesus in his life and ask him to help you learn to know Jesus as well as he does.

Christianity is supposed to be about relationships (ours with Jesus and each other). We live in times when relationships are growing thin (even in our own families). Sadly even some churches offer little in relationship other than social chatting during a "fellowship" time.

There is supposed to be passion in the Christian life. We should "cry out" for wisdom, we should "hunger and thirst after righteousness". If you allow God's word to work in you to stir up this passion for the Lord and always seek truth, you will find the "solid rock" upon which to build.

 

[Emmy]

Dear Eishiba. In St.Matthews, chapter 22, verses 35-40, Jesus tells a Lawyer: " The first and great Commandment is: Love thy God with all thy heart, with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. The second is like it: Love thy neighbour as thyself." Then Jesus also tells him: " On these two Commandments hang all the Law, and the Prophets." Love is very important to God, and God wants loving children/sons and daughters.
Start by treating all you know and all you meet as you would love to be treated: With love and kindness, with friendly words and helping hands, (if needed) and generally be a good neighbour to all around you. God will see your sincere efforts to be a good neighbour, and God will approve and bless you. God will also know that you love God, because you follow his Commandment to love and care.
Jesus will give you His Love and Joy, and the Holy Spirit will empower you to share all Love and Care around you. If you get tired of loving/caring, keep asking God in Prayer for more Love and Joy, and even more after that. Keep it up, and you will find that you are slowly, but surly changing into a loving and kind person, and people will notice, too, and will start treating you the same. Love is a Christians great weapon, and love changes all into better than it was before. All you say, and all you do, Eishiba, and all you advice people, or even stand for, let it be done with Love for God, and love and care for your neighbour.
You might stumble or forget at times, but then ask God to forgive you, and carry on loving. You will feel Christ`s nearness, and you will know that God is on your side. Perhaps you will join a Church later, and meet many Christians who are like you, loving and caring. Christians have enough love to change this imperfect world into a better place. May God bless your endeavours.
I say this with love. Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.

 

[Harry3142]

Eishiba-

The first thing you should do is come to a true comprehension of where your salvation lies. And that is with what God has done for us, rather than with what we might be able to do for him. The righteousness which is necessary for eternal life is a righteousness which we cannot earn through our own efforts, or purchase as if it were an asset. It is offered, and must be accepted, as a gift, totally unearned and undeserved:

Now we know that whatever the law says, it says to those who are under the law, so that every mouth may be silenced and the whole world held accountable to God. Therefore no one will be declared righteous in his sight by observing the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin.

But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood. He did this to demonstrate his justice, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished - he did it to demonstrate his justice at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus. (Romans 3:19-26,NIV)

Our assurance of eternal life with God is totally dependent on what God himself has done, and we must never lose sight of that by thinking that we can in any way augment his righteousness given us as a gift with our own righteousness earned as a salary. In fact, St. Paul himself was quite clear in saying that we cannot keep the law as it should be kept if left to our own devices:

We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord! (Romans 7:14-25a,NIV)

2,000 years later psychologists affirmed what St. Paul described and gave it a name; it's called 'paradoxical intention'. All of us have it as a powerful part of our psyche, and it limits what we are capable of doing to what we can do naturally. There's even an old saying which describes it: "The harder you try, the faster you fail."

But until we accept Christ as our Lord and saviour what we can do naturally is determined by our sinful nature. This nature cannot lead to the performance of righteous acts any more than a tree whose roots are fixed in poisonous ground can bear good fruit. And just as it cannot lead to the performance of righteous acts before we accept Christ, it cannot lead to the performance of righteous acts after we accept Jesus Christ. So what we need is a new nature which is capable of performing these righteous acts, rather than willing our original, sinful nature to do so. Fortunately, God has seen fit to give us this new nature as a gift, just as he gives us our salvation as a gift:

So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.

The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. (Galatians 5:16-26,NIV)

'The acts of the sinful nature' are those desires and motivations which lie at the very core of our sinful nature. They are also the motivations for the commission of every sinful act. Because these motivations do lie at the core of our being, God can say without contradiction that we are indeed evil. They cannot be used to perform righteous acts, but instead must be subdued by the Spirit of God so that he can implant a new nature within us.

It is this new nature, called here 'the fruit of the Spirit', which enables us to perform those acts which God wants of us. Just as 'the acts of the sinful nature' are the origin of all sinful acts, 'the fruit of the Spirit' are the origin of all righteous acts. They are our 'yardstick', measuring what we say and do against what God wants of us. So long as our words and actions have these 'fruit' as their impetus, our words and actions have assurance of conforming with God's will.

BTW: My favorite gospel is Luke, and my favorite epistle is Romans. I suggest that you begin your reading with those two books, and then expand it to include the other gospels and epistles. Revelation is notorious for being the book that charlatans have used in order to lead others astray, sometimes with tragic results. Whenever you choose to read it, do so knowing that there is no one who can say for a fact that its symbolisms refer to anyone exclusively, be he living or dead. It was intended to be understood by a specific group of Christians who are long dead, and they left no records indicating to whom the symbolisms were referring.

God bless-

 

[1watchman]

The assumption here is that one is saved when one says he/she is a Christian, then advise comes to how to live the Christian life. Certainly it is elementary that a true believer should read the Bible daily and be in much prayer to God; but the REAL issue here is whether one is a "born again" believer in Jesus Christ, devoted to Him, and assured of Heaven for ever. If not, then it is of little profit to try to live the Christian life...right? Well, this is just a thought by one who does not put great stock in assumptions.

 

[Eishiba]

How do you know when you are actually saved and going to heaven? I would think that even though one claims to be a new Christian doesn't mean they are heaven bound, even if they are serious about the decision they made. I was serious about the decision but the problem is I have so much sin in my life. There are so many things I deal with that it makes me wonder how I can possibly overcome them all. Many of the things I do I really think I could stop over time and then there are other things that I really wonder what I'm to do because it seems so difficult to give up. Does one just stop all these things cold turkey? I can't remember where the scripture was that I read but it said something like turn from your sin and repent or you will perish. That leads me to believe one who hasn't turned completely from sin is going to perish, even if that person is in fact a Christian now. But this only confuses me more because several people so far have said you can't earn salvation.

 

[Bible2]

Eishiba said in post 11:

How do you know when you are actually saved and going to heaven?

Every believer in the gospel (of 1 Cor. 15:1-4, Jn. 20:31) can know with perfect assurance he's presently saved (1 Jn. 5:13, 1 Cor. 15:1-4) if when he became a believer in the gospel he repented from his sins (1 Jn. 3:6) & confessed them to God (1 Jn. 1:9). And he can be sure that as a saved person he can never be separated from the love of God, so long as he loves God (Rom. 8:28-39), which means obeying him (1 Jn. 5:3, Jn. 14:21-24). And no matter how many tests a saved person fails during his lifetime (sometime subsequent to his initial repentance), even if he fails & commits sin 70 times 7 times in a single day (Mt. 18:21-22, Lk. 17:4), he can be sure that so long as he sincerely repents from every sin & confesses it to God, he'll be completely forgiven (1 Jn. 1:9). He'll lose his salvation in the end only if he wrongly employs his free will to do something like committing a sin without repentance (Heb. 10:26-29, 1 Cor. 9:27, Lk. 12:45-46), or becoming utterly lazy without repentance (Mt. 25:26,30, Jn. 15:2a, Rom. 2:6-8), or committing apostasy (Heb. 6:4-8, Jn. 15:6, 2 Tim. 2:12).

. . . several people so far have said you can't earn salvation.

Initial salvation is by grace through faith without works (Eph. 2:8-9, Titus 3:5, Rom. 4:1-5). But initially saved people must have both faith & continued works of faith (1 Thes. 1:3, Gal. 5:6b, Titus 3:8) (not works of the letter of the Old Covenant Mosaic law) if they're to obtain ultimate salvation (Rom. 2:6-8, Jas. 2:24, Mt. 7:21, 25:26,30, Philip. 2:12b, 3:11-14, 2 Cor. 5:9, Rev. 22:14, Heb. 5:9, 6:10-12, 2 Pet. 1:10-11, Jn. 15:2a). For believers must actually continue to do righteous deeds if they're to continue to be righteous (1 Jn. 3:7, Jas. 2:24,26).

 

[timf]

How do you know when you are actually saved and going to heaven?

Assurance of salvation is something we all seek. It is available;

Christian Pioneer - How can I know for sure I am saved?

 

[Harry3142]

Eishiba-

There isn't a person on this earth who is sinless, with those who claim to be either suffering from arrogance or conspiring to convince others that they can be trusted as their spiritual leaders. And in the cases that I have encountered in the 'real world' over the years, those same people have fit both those descriptions.

In Luke 18:9-14 (the Pharisee and the tax collector) Jesus taught that it was the tax collector who left the temple justified, rather than the Pharisee. Note that Jesus didn't deny that the Pharisee had indeed done all that he boasted of doing, and that he had refrained from doing all that he denied doing. But his attitude was one of arrogance ("Look at how holy I am"), whereas the tax collector's attitude was one of humility. The tax collector asked for God's mercy, and received it. The Pharisee instead saw himself as so righteous that he could stand in God's presence through his own works, and therefore would see only God's justice. And none of us is so perfect that we can stand up to God's justice.

A word of caution: There are some denominations and sects which give lipservice to our being saved through Christ's atoning sacrifice, but then state that one must keep a set of laws and commandments (invariably compiled by the heirarchy of that particular denomination) in order to hold on to our salvation. But the righteousness which we need in order to stand before God cleased of our sins is a righteousness which we must receive as a gift, and then see as a gift from that time forward until we are in God's presence.

In Romans 3:19-26 (quoted in message #9 of this thread) Paul makes it clear that the righteousness which we need is a righteousness that originates with God rather than with ourselves. There is only one means of obtaining this righteousness, and that is by permitting God to give it to us. We are like children who see something far higher than our reach, and so must trust in our parents to obtain it for us and then give it to us. That he is willing to do as a result of our accepting the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ:

What then shall we say? That the Gentiles, who did not pursue righteousness, have obtained it, a righteousness that is by faith; but Israel, who pursued a law of righteousness, has not attained it. Why not? Because they pursued it not by faith but as if it were by works. They stumbled over the "stumbling stone." As it is written:

"See, I lay in Zion a stone that causes men to stumble and a rock that makes them fall, and the one who trusts in him will never be put to shame." (Romans 9:30-33,NIV)

This righteousness stand alone. It cannot be replaced with our own righteousness, nor can it be augmented by our own righteousness. As Christians we do what we can for the furtherance of God's kingdom, depending on our talents. But we always realize that what we are doing is being done through gratitude for what God has already given us, namely, the righteousness necessary for our salvation. The work is never to be seen as in any way a part of that righteousness, but only as its aftermath.

 

[Peripatetic]

Many of those online study guides and devotions include a lot of Bible passages. You don't always have to read whole chapters at a time (though it helpful to do so). Sometimes it is good to read it in small pieces and read the teachings that go along with them. Podcasts can be very helpful too.

 

[Sketcher]

Onan was to marry her and have a child by her. He tried to cheat his way out of it.

 

[Hishandmaiden]

Welcome into the kingdom of God. When you accept Jesus into your life, angels rejoice.
What you need to do next is to go to a church which will encourage you to love Jesus more.
Then, learn to pray, and it is all right that your prayers are short. Even now, I struggle with my prayers.
THen, read the bible. I know it is not easy. Maybe you can purchase some kind of bible commentary.

 

[chilehed]

I'm beginning to read the Bible. The only problem is I don't really know what to do. I read something and then I'm like ok now what? I pray for a few minutes and thats about it. I don't really know what I should read in the Bible. I find myself resorting and preferring online teachings and such rather than just reading the Bible. With the internet, one can find places where there are small lectures or teachings and then its almost like church. You read it and take it to heart.

Jesus never intended for us to try to understand sacred Scripture apart from the community of believers, which is his Body, the Church. As the Apostle said, there are many things in scripture which are difficult to understand, and that the ignorant and unstable distort to their own destruction (2 Peter 3:16). If I'm sitting in my room, reading scripture and relying on the Holy Spirit to immediately guide my understanding without reference to the Church, I put myself at grave risk of leading myself astray. How do I know that I'm not one of the ignorant and unstable? By definition, I'd be the last to know.

That's why God set up His Church with a teaching authority and promised that it would never teach false doctrine.

Jesus gave the authority to teach in His name to the Apostles (Matthew 10:20; Luke 10:1; Luke 10:16), with Peter having the preeminent position among them (Matthew 16:17-19), and promised that the Holy Spirit would protect them from ever teaching error (John 14:16-18, 26; 15:26; 16:13; 17:17-19; Luke 21:33). He said that they would remember everything Jesus taught them. (John 14:16-18, 26; Luke 21:33). He further promised that the fruit that the Apostles bore (i.e., the Bishops they appointed and the Church that He built on them (Ephesians 2:19-22)) would remain faithful (John 15:16). The Apostles in turn taught (again, without error) that they had the authority to pass that office on to their successors (Acts 1:20,26; Rom 13:1-2; Heb. 13:17; 1 Tim 1:3; 2 Tim 2:2; 2 Pet. 1:16–21, 3:2; 1 Cor 3:9-11; Jude 8, 10-11 (ref. to Num 16). Based on the word of Christ, we can know that the teaching authority of His Church is protected by God from ever teaching false doctrine as being infallibly true and binding on all believers.

So if I were you, I'd find out which Church is the one which has been around since the time of the Apostles, and join it.

Also this is REALLY off subject but in the Bible when Onan slept with Tamar when God told him to and he spilled his seed and all. Why did God tell Onan to sleep with a woman to whom he was not married? Wasnt that a sin in itself to sleep with her?

See Deuteronomy 25:5-10

When brothers live together and one of them dies without a son, the widow of the deceased shall not marry anyone outside the family; but her husband’s brother shall come to her, marrying her and performing the duty of a brother-in-law. The firstborn son she bears shall continue the name of the deceased brother, that his name may not be blotted out from Israel. But if a man does not want to marry his brother’s wife, she shall go up to the elders at the gate and say, “My brother-in-law refuses to perpetuate his brother’s name in Israel and does not intend to perform his duty toward me.” Thereupon the elders of his city shall summon him and speak to him. If he persists in saying, “I do not want to marry her,” his sister-in-law, in the presence of the elders, shall go up to him and strip his sandal from his foot and spit in his face, declaring, “This is how one should be treated who will not build up his brother’s family!” And his name shall be called in Israel, “the house of the man stripped of his sandal.”​