I have a problem, that I'm hoping some of you could help me with. I'm an average decent-looking guy. I'm conservative to the point where I don't have any tatoos or peircings, and I just don't get into any (or hardly any) trouble. I consider myself a easy-going guy who loves to laugh. My delima is this.... Why do girls feel the need to take the easy way out by just ignoring guys they aren't interested in?? Is it soooo hard to tell them face to face that they aren't interested? I've had acouple girls I work with do this to me. I don't think i'm overbearing at all. It's like a kick in the stomach when girls do this to me! 'oh I don't like him, I'll just pretend he doesn't even exist' It's getting to the point where they go out of their way to avoid me. All I'm asking is WHY??????? It's absolutely killing my self-esteem and I don't know how these girls live with themselves.
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Ignorance
- Thread starter gvsuman
- Start date
TriptychR
Investigative Retorter
Maybe it is really hard to tell us they aren't interested. To say that is to acknowledge that there was a possibility of a relationship in the first place and that you might have feelings for them, which would be awkward to deal with.
It's not the best thing to do, of course, but it's less painful. At least that's my theory.
It's not the best thing to do, of course, but it's less painful. At least that's my theory.
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She's trying to save face for both you and her. You guys have to work together after all.. how awkward is that to work with someone that asked you out and you told you're not interested in. She doesn't know how you will react. Some guys get mean if you turn them down and try to get you back by saying mean things. Some guys get really hurt and feel so uncomfortable around you they can never be friends. It's better if she just blows it off. It's not cool she totally ignores you but give it time - she'll come around.
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fieldmouse3
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I personally think it's rude to just ignore someone who's expressed interest in you. People should at least have the common courtesy to politely tell unwanted suitors that thay aren't interested. The one exception would be if you've made it clear you're not interested, adn the person keeps pursuing you anyway.
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fieldmouse3 said:
Assuming that interest has been expressed on one side. It would be kind of wierd to just go up to people of the opposite gender who haven't made any moves yet and inform them that one is not interested.
To the OP: Have you actually approached any of these girls in any way? Have you tried to develop any kind of friendship with them? Maybe it seems that they're ignoring you because they don't really know you? Or perhaps have you done anything that might have made them uncomfortable or scared? Like maybe moving too fast with one of them - making a romantic move before getting to know her or that kind of thing? That could result in ignoring as well - from other girls who found out as well as the original one. Or maybe they aren't actually trying to ignore you at all and it just seems that way to you. It's kind of hard to know just why they might be ignoring you or seeming to ignore you without knowing the whole situation. Maybe if you try to go over the details of the situation in your mind and also look at things from their perspective you might see what the problem is, and hopefully a way to fix it
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I've actually become really really good friends with one of the girls. I consider her my best friend still. Acouple years ago, I did tell her that I liked her in more than a friendship way, and it did freak her out alittle bit. I apoligized and have never done it since, because I know it won't get me anywhere if I bring up my feelings. I don't really like this girl now though, besides being a good friend. It's just she gets in these moods where I don't exist or I don't mean a single thing to her. It's heartbreaking, cause she has been my closest friend since m oving up here to michigan 5 years ago. The other girl, however, I'm not really friends with. I just kinda joked around with her alittle bit at work, and have never made a single move that would suggest me wanting more of a relationship. A few weeks ago, I asked her to go to a movie, and she did say yes, but we didn't get to set a time to see it. Since then, we haven't talked at all since she has been avoiding me. It's just soo frustrating!
And thank you Fieldmouse! i agree with your statement!
And thank you Fieldmouse! i agree with your statement!
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