If

[Galatea]

If on the off chance
The poems were written to me,
I love you, too

I need to get better
And not crazy
I need help

I think I am mentally unwell
And I don’t want to burden you

I reach out with one hand
And push away with the other

I don’t know if I should
Ask
Because it is selfish

If I am not being a burden,
Please stay if you want

 

[Galatea]

I don’t know why I seek to sabotage

I guess because I think it would be too wonderful and not happen

Those whom the gods envy, they curse.

I don’t really know

Scared, I guess.

Scared of being like my father.

And hurting you.

 

[Galatea]

If the poems are not for me, after all-

I hope everything will be well.

 

[Galatea]

I’m just crazy, I think everything negative is directed toward me. I don’t know why, I’m paranoid.

 

[Galatea]

I try to figure things out, but never know if all my theories are correct. A few things I know of a certainty.

(1) I am a difficult person

(2) You are a patient friend to stick around

(3) I keep pushing at you to go away. To protect you, but also because I feel singularly unfit to be with people in any meaningful way. I don’t know what I am doing, this is God’s truth. I don’t know how to be a human being.