If you wouldn't mind sharing with me.....

[trularue]

I know there are a lot of threads here that are just inane fun and I really like those threads, but I got to thinking that this is a singles section and I wanted to talk about something pertaining to us being single.

No doubt among the 500+ threads in this section this has already been discussed before (probably multiple times) and I know most of you already know each other so perhaps you know one another's history already. But humor me please?

It's about dating.

I am merely curious on everyone's background. Now growing up I never really dated. I flirted. Yes, I sure did love to flirt with guys, but that was basically all that ever came of it. It was fun and even when I would have crushes on boys (even in middle school) I never attempted to do anything about it because I was always well aware that soon the crush would wear off and so it seemed best to just flirt and let the crush go away without ever actually taking action on it. I remember watching my friends "go out" with boys for two weeks or sometimes only a week and then break up and I always thought. "What's the point?" lol

I began to learn about Jesus at the age of 14 but I wouldn't say that I actively lived for Him until the age of 16. Even so throughout that time I never had issues with "wanting" to date guys. This was something I never struggled with throughout high school. But then again I have always been....hmmm..quite avid about activities one does alone like reading and playing RPG video games (which are usually one player) I like to watch movies or TV shows solo (I think I find that watching something with someone else entails too many interruptions! lol) so these being my main habits I never really felt the need for companionship with the opposite sex.

I had my first "boyfriend" when I was 20 and dated him for about six months. He was my first kiss and everything and he was a wonderful guy. But things went further physically with him than I would have liked and the relationship dissolved because of it.

So basically I have not dated any other guy since then (so it's been about 4 years because I'll be 25 in september). Not even on one date.

It's not something I really struggle with. *shrugs* I remember being really eager to get married when I was like 18 and 19 years old but over the years I've mellowed and to be honest I think I have spent so much of my life without someone that I am just used to that, you know? In fact I think it is going to be a major adjustment when I do get around to sharing my life with a man. lol

I suppose there are girls who date one guy after the next after the next all throughout their teen years and they get used to that to the point where it is difficult for them to be single....to live without that companionship. Well I think I am the opposite! I love to flirt, to me it's fun and harmless....but I have never seen much of an appeal to dating because it seems like such a hassle. Haha. Maybe that sounds weird but again, I am not really used to relationships so I guess I don't have much of an opinion of being in one.

I guess I am just curious how everyone else stands with their "dating" background because to be honest I have a hard time relating to other Christian singles who lonely or quite eager to find their other half. I have no problem waiting patiently. It doesn't really bother me. Every once in a great while I will feel a ping of lonliness but I don't lie when I say this happens rarely.

I do not feel as though God has called me to be single but at the same time I am just not one who struggles with feeling lonely for a relationship. Yet I see that this is a common feeling among many single Christians. I was just curious if I am the only one with this type of background.

Sorry for the long winded post!

 

[Inkachu]

Hey Tru,

You'll find there are a lot of young people here who either have never dated, or only dated a little bit. So you won't be alone there

As for me, I was a wretched little tart when I was younger, and I couldn't even tell you how many guys I messed around with - I don't even call it dating, cause none of it was love or anything remotely mature. I finally started shaping up in my 20's, and for the past several years I haven't done much dating at all. Mostly because I'm not looking for a date, I'm looking for my God-sent husband.

 

[hikingchick77]

My dating background, by age....hmmm, let's see:

16 - Started dating a guy for 6 years; I left him because he was abusive, although it was rough to leave because he was my first love

23 - Dated a guy for a year; left him cause it fizzled out, and we went different directions, plus he wasn't Christian - it would have never worked

24 - Met my ex-husband, short courtship (which I would never recommend). Married for 4 years, feel apart due to abandonment and infidelity.

30 - Year long relationship with an ex-boyfriend who was selfish, commitment-phobic, arrogant, controlling, etc. Sigh - what was I thinking!!

31 (almost 32, but look 25...he he) - Single now since New Years, and pretty happy with NOT getting involved with the wrong man. I've had opportunities, but walked away from them. It is soo much worse being involved with the wrong man than to be single. So, until the right one or a decent one comes along, I CHOOSE to be single, and that is empowering

Don't be so eager to get married - it is not all it is cracked up to be! It's good that you are not lonely or eager. Be careful with the flirting thing...why do you feel the need to do that if you are really not interested? That can be misconstrued as leading on a person.

I get lonely, but not eager. My loneliness is related more to wanting friendships with both genders, not a relationship. I'm sure that will change, which is why I am on here, to be less lonely and make friends

 

[hikingchick77]

Hey Tru,

You'll find there are a lot of young people here who either have never dated, or only dated a little bit. So you won't be alone there

As for me, I was a wretched little tart when I was younger, and I couldn't even tell you how many guys I messed around with - I don't even call it dating, cause none of it was love or anything remotely mature. I finally started shaping up in my 20's, and for the past several years I haven't done much dating at all. Mostly because I'm not looking for a date, I'm looking for my God-sent husband.

wretched little tart - that is way harsh! we have all sinned and fall short of the glory!

 

[Inkachu]

Thanks, but it's true! I was a horrible person and God bless my poor mother who had to deal with me through those years lol.

 

[Sketcher]

I'm a lot like you, only I have less experience (no relationship, no kiss, etc), I'm a little older than you, and I'm a male which means I'm expected to lead the relationship. I used to be in no hurry, and I probably still should be in no hurry, but time is not exactly on my side. The fact that most guys my age have experience and women expect this isn't helping me either.

 

[Luther073082]

Hmm when I was 17 I sort of had a pseudo girlfriend. I say that because we where never offical or anything, we where always "friends". But friends don't get as affectionate as we did with eachother. So we where about the only people that did not consider us a couple. Its not like we where kissing (although she may have given me a kiss after I took her to prom.) but we where extremely cuddly to say the least.

It was around 19 that I started beliving in God and slowly I became a Christian. This was of course a major change so I didn't really date much. Prior to this I was an atheist, and my parents where simple diests. Faith has never been emphasized in our family. It really took me til I was 22 before I really felt steady about what I belive and secure in it.

At age 25 I had a short 1 month relationship.

And at age 26 I met and fell in love with my current fiancee.

I dated a few other girls other then that but nothing serious. I didn't date very much though.

Now I'm 27 . . . just today in fact. And I'm going to become a married man in April 2010.

I feel old.

 

[Starcradle]

I never actually dated in the conventional sense, therefore my first serious relationship did not occur until I was thirty years old. Although that culminated into an engagement, I severed it.

I am now in a relationship with a beautiful man that I have known for 32 years and loved almost the entirety of my life. (It has been the same for him.) We are both thirty-three. An engagement is imminent.

 

[Luther073082]

I never actually dated in the conventional sense, therefore my first serious relationship did not occur until I was thirty years old. Although that culminated into an engagement, I severed it.

I am now in a relationship with a beautiful man that I have known for 32 years and loved almost the entirety of my life. (It has been the same for him.) We are both thirty-three. An engagement is imminent.

Wow you've known eachtother almost your whole lives then? I think you need to spit out some more information about this.

 

[Irrkunst]

As for me, I was a wretched little tart when I was younger, and I couldn't even tell you how many guys I messed around with - I don't even call it dating, cause none of it was love or anything remotely mature. I finally started shaping up in my 20's, and for the past several years I haven't done much dating at all. Mostly because I'm not looking for a date, I'm looking for my God-sent husband.

*Sets time machine for Delaware, 10 years ago*

 

[crishmael]

I've never dated anyone. I've actually only ever asked out two girls, and that went nowhere. I do from time to time want to be with someone, but I also feel completely unprepared for any sort of relationship. I suppose I'll just keep living my life.

 

[Inkachu]

*Sets time machine for Delaware, 10 years ago*

May God have mercy on your soul, lol.

 

[Luther073082]

I've never dated anyone. I've actually only ever asked out two girls, and that went nowhere. I do from time to time want to be with someone, but I also feel completely unprepared for any sort of relationship. I suppose I'll just keep living my life.

Why is it you feel unprepared for a relationship if I may ask.

 

[soccerdad66]

It does seem that their a lot of woman on this board that struggle with being single, but it sounds like you do have a good grasp on being single.

 

[crishmael]

Why is it you feel unprepared for a relationship if I may ask.

I have a difficult enough time with normal interaction with people, a relationship seems very intimidating.

 

[Starcradle]

Wow you've known each other almost your whole lives then?

Yes. Following is a photograph of us the year we officially met (1977.) My beloved is on the right.

I think you need to spit out some more information about this.

I would not want to risk derailing the thread.

 

[Luther073082]

I would not want to risk derailing the thread.

Make a new thread!!!

The only person that I've known practically my whole life that isn't related to me is my doctor. (Whom I've been seeing since I was like 2)

 

[Starcradle]

Make a new thread!!!

I assure you that would be the least-visited thread in the history of CF.

 

[smacarena]

I'll just say that Michael Moore's treadmill sees more action than I do.

 

[Thunder Peel]

I've never dated or had a girlfriend. I asked a couple girls out and obviously that went nowhere, thus revealing to me that God wanted me to stay single for life so I don't even think about dating. However, there are times when I would at least like to know what it's like.