If mastubation is wrong, how do I stop?

[Denali25]

I am still unsure whether or not masturbation is wrong or not, but I'm tired of the endless and confusing debates in which both sides have good points. So.... what I want to talk about is how to quit... I have been trying to quit for three years because I hate the endless guilt (I'm not sure whether this guilt is from God, or from cultural taboo) I have tried absolutely everything I can think of... But I feel soo lost because I just can't. I'll have to face it, I'm addicted. Anyways, I know that alot of people have had the same problem and have gotten over it... I need some brothers/sisters to share a bit of wisdom with me... Because its too hard to do on my own, and I'm sick of failing. I know God is with me always... But I also know that we are supossed to admit our struggle sto others, so thats what I'm doing.

To sum it all up... I need help. And this is a really sensitive subject for me so if your one of those "christians" who simply likes to flame, or thinks that they know it all/are better than anyone else.......... Please keep your comments to yourself. Not trying to be rude, but I dont like super heated debates when all I need is some guidance....... Thanks

 

[KerrMetric]

Unless this is 5 times a day - don't quit. It's your business no one elses.

 

[Denali25]

Yeah but, Its not about how much I do it, Its about the fact that I can even go months without doing it if I try to quit, and I can do really well.... But eventually I fall back into it... I feel like a slave. I know that Its not good to be a slave to anything. Sigh* I'm really confused (thanks for commenting though)

 

[Denali25]

Anyone else out there with some advice?... Pretty Please

 

[Denali25]

Well I have to go to bed now, but I'll be back on in the morning, so please feel free to coment while I'm gone, be sure that what you say will get read, and I may reply to you specifically

One more thing, please dont turn this board into a debate, I just need some help, and I'm ready to listen...... Thank You all sooooo much

 

[DMagoh]

Unless this is 5 times a day - don't quit. It's your business no one elses.

Can I do it 4.5 times a day?

 

[Gukkor]

Hmmmmm...an interesting dilemma. Masturbation itself is not the issue, so determining whether you think it's right or wrong will make little difference, and while you clearly aren't doing it enough to be called an "addict" in any but the loosest of senses, you still feel like when you DO touch, you are being compelled to do so, rather than simply choosing to do it for the sake of enjoyment, and thus are left with guilt afterwards. Correct me if I've gotten any of that wrong.

SO! What to do to resolve the issue...well, first of all, let me preface my comments by stating that this is all from my personal perspective, and that I'm not trying to start a debate over any of this.

Now, then, consider this: you say that you "can't stop," yet by your own admission, you have gone for months at a time without masturbating. Personally, I take this as a sign that your will is actually quite healthy. There are plenty of people who have no ill feelings about masturbation and do it with no guilt, and yet if they were to consciously try to stop, they wouldn't be able to go for three weeks, much less several months.

So, clearly, you CAN stop, though not necessarily forever. Why, then, do you not stop masturbating for good, even though you've shown the ability to stop for very long periods of time and feel guilt over it when you do? Have you ever thought about your motivations to touch right at the time that you do it? Is it to satisfy an urge or impulse you feel and nothing more, or do you actually enjoy it while you're doing it? That probably sounds overly personal, but I simply mean to determine if you actually want to touch when you do, or if you feel like you must. Answering that question could be a big help.

 

[Floatingaxe]

Jesus asks you, "Do you love Me more than that?" If your answer is yes, then you can certainly exercise some self-control with His help and quit.

 

[YoungJoonKim]

It is sin and it is harsh.
So far, no one convinced me how it can improve my life nor will it change it for the better. What I realized is that it creates unnecessary sorrow and struggle. Yes, I'm with you brother and your not alone.
Its part of our struggle.
Jesus said, "If you love me, follow my commandment" He wants us to dedicate all our love for him, not to some masturbation where you think about only your pleasures and your needs. Its just not natural. That pleasure is suppose to be shared with your female counterpart. And to abuse it IS wrong. I struggle this like yourself..
so go to www.settingcaptivesfree.com for help.

God bless

 

[Dannager]

Yeah but, Its not about how much I do it, Its about the fact that I can even go months without doing it if I try to quit, and I can do really well.... But eventually I fall back into it... I feel like a slave. I know that Its not good to be a slave to anything. Sigh* I'm really confused (thanks for commenting though)

Er...you're a "slave" to it in the same way that you're a "slave" to eating, or drinking, or sleeping. It's something healthy that your body uses to unwind. I think you need to start focusing less on how to stop, and more on how to get rid of the undeserved guilt you're experiencing. A good way to start would be to ask yourself where this guilt is coming from. You mentioned God and cultural taboo. I'm inclined to believe it's probably the latter, given my own experience.

 

[YoungJoonKim]

Are you saying that we should surrender ourselves to gluttony of food?
We eat food to live and survive. We sleep to recharge our energy. However, masturbation is not necessary nor is it profitable for the kingdom of Christ. Therefore, what is logic or reason in masturbation except self-gratification ?

 

[DMagoh]

Er...you're a "slave" to it in the same way that you're a "slave" to eating, or drinking, or sleeping. It's something healthy that your body uses to unwind. I think you need to start focusing less on how to stop, and more on how to get rid of the undeserved guilt you're experiencing. A good way to start would be to ask yourself where this guilt is coming from. You mentioned God and cultural taboo. I'm inclined to believe it's probably the latter, given my own experience.

Just keep in mind when you are reading this guy's advice, that he also thinks pre-marital sex, homosexual sex, and pornography is not a sin either. I'm not saying he is right or wrong, I'm just saying you need to be aware of this when considering what he advises.

 

[Floatingaxe]

Please get your hands on the book, "Every Man's Battle" subtitiled, "Every Man's Guide to Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time", by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker with Mike Yorkey.

It will be instrumental in gaining you your freedom.

I will be praying for you!

 

[Denali25]

Thank you for the advice, and I happen to own that book, but Ive never read it because.... I dont know if anybody here knows this yet.. I'm a girl. lol, just thought I'd clear that up.

Thanks Dmagoh for that tip (that was helpfull). And thank you floatingaxe... Thats been some advice I can put to into action. Anyways, I'll keep checking this place... But for now I'm gonna go get that book. (lol, I suppose it muct be good for girls too)

 

[Floatingaxe]

Thank you for the advice, and I happen to own that book, but Ive never read it because.... I dont know if anybody here knows this yet.. I'm a girl. lol, just thought I'd clear that up.

Thanks Dmagoh for that tip (that was helpfull). And thank you floatingaxe... Thats been some advice I can put to into action. Anyways, I'll keep checking this place... But for now I'm gonna go get that book. (lol, I suppose it muct be good for girls too)

Oops! I believe the same malady governs the minds and spirits of many women as well!

I do believe you will benefit by the book. I know those who have conquered the besetting sin of masturbation due to that very book!

God bless you!

 

[Wiccan_Child]

Even from a Christian perspective, I can't see how masturbation is wrong. It's a very enjoyable act that has no deterimental effects.

 

[Floatingaxe]

Even from a Christian perspective, I can't see how masturbation is wrong. It's a very enjoyable act that has no deterimental effects.

 

[Wiccan_Child]

Thank you, Floatingaxe, for your webcam pic.

 

[Floatingaxe]

If looks could kill, eh? At least I've got me some good teeth.

 

[MezzaMorta]

That’s not a very flattering self portrait Floatingaxe.