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Kristen.NewCreation and FreeinChrist
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I think that it's hard to connect to people, or communities, in general when badly depressed. It's definitely an isolated feeling, and I've found most of my friends don't seem to get what I mean when I talk about my past experiences with it. With what you are bringing up with church, I'm sure that can also be an issue because people are so divided on it in church. Some think you are healed if you just come to have a good relationship with God, some believe that if you just think positively you can heal yourself, if you focus on Jesus you can be healed, or some even think demons are to blame instead of mental illness. This can be frustrating for the depressed or mentally ill person at church. What do you think your church can do to help you feel more accepted and be more understanding?
Yes Churches can be notoriously bad to accommodate mental ill people. Its best not to fake it but to be honest about how you are feeling. You can therefore only go when you feel up to it. At one stage i didn't go to Church for years, now i go when i feel up to it not otherwise. There ought to be no shame for being ill but sadly there is and fellow brothers and sister can be very uncaring about our suffering realities.
Maybe visit the pastor and have a talk with him in private about how you are feeling. If he had depression himself he might be more understanding when you reach out.
But yes Churches are very disappointing when it comes to dealing with Her mentally ill brothers and sisters. That is my experience as well.
Not sure what the best solution would be, better training of Church leadership perhaps? It has to do with being loving and caring many Churches falter on these grounds.
Peace
From this post, it would be a challenge for any group of believers to know how to help you and how not to be hurt themselves(most groups don't have any idea it seems, and few are either grown-mature enough or trusting the Father enough) . It will take constant prayer each day to get through each day and to learn from the Father in heaven what to do, to receive His Help in Time of Need, every day.crap .. typo in first line ..should be "I feel..."
My experience in churches I have been to is such that they are one of the last places I want to go when depressed. Of course my experience is limited, and does not reflect every church and while I have not found what I am looking for I can't say every church is the same.
But these are some of my experiences.
A church I attended some years ago, I joined house groups within it. I don't feel I can fit into these, they are too intimate and I dislike that (just me I perhaps, but I have also heard of ministers say they dislike them). Once I joined I felt always was under pressure to go (to the house group) because it could not just be a time of fellowship take it or leave it, come when you want... but had to be doing everything together, thus if you drop out for a while, you spoil the 'community building' going on - how do I know this - for this reason one of the leaders told me the sense community kind of went after I joined. Cheers mate! I was encouraged to join it, they wanted me to come to it I was told. Another one I went to I had only arrived one day when one of the members started to make a joke that I had been out drinking the night before. I hadn't. I rarely drink alcohol. Maybe he was projecting the antics of his own teenage children, or himself when he was young on to me, assuming everyone to be the same. I said nothing.
The minister I thought would understand depression, since he had experienced two bouts of it during his life and was out of ministry for months. But he kept assuming since I was at the church that meant my depression had gone. People like me have a way of pretending to be ok when out, doesn't mean we are!!
Some churches are the last places you want to appear not to be OK when attending - they can't cope with un-OK people very well - so we have to keep pretending. Then we get told the Gospel is all about authenticity - well let them come round and visit and I'll be authentically un-OK with them for half an hour. But then again I probably won't I'll just pretend all is fine and they won't have anything difficult to deal with. I went back to this church after a while away, and hoped maybe some people would remember me, and speak. But it felt like hell staying behind for chats when they all get into their twos and threes and fours. I was told you better go up and talk to people. Not so easy sometimes.
I am just dead inside, a walking zombie at times who tries to appear normal, so as to avoid the "what is the matter with you?" type questions, the "SMILE!!!" comments (I used to think I was a christian, and had an interest in church) - I have no zero interest most of the time in what people are saying, I hate faking that I am interested, but I do, its complete fakery, I could not give a s**t about what they are talking about. I had gone to this church for eight years I offered to help (and did help) with activities.
Pastoral care manager told someone else to go to visit me as she "doesn't really know this guy".
Yet another church the Minister decided to announce that he was reading the whole bible through in one year - his preaching team seemed to be required to do this also. Personally I see no requirement for anyone to do this, and especially if you are suffering from depression, take it from me - you don't no matter who else is. However some of his team must have been miffed as they said something about no reason that anyone in the church could not also read it through in one year. Do these people have any clue that some people in their congregations are suffering with depression? Do they even understand anything about depression? Instead he should have without fanfare and announcement got quietly on with that if that was his goal, I mean some ministers have time to do this if they want, others don't and his preaching team all had their own full time jobs!
From this post, it would be a challenge for any group of believers to know how to help you and how not to be hurt themselves(most groups don't have any idea it seems, and few are either grown-mature enough or trusting the Father enough) . It will take constant prayer each day to get through each day and to learn from the Father in heaven what to do, to receive His Help in Time of Need, every day.
I shouted out once "God is dead".
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