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...whose fault is it? What if the woman was dressed in a way she perceived to be modest and was still lusted after?
What is the point of playing the blame game? What does any of us do that isn't mixed with sin? Would it make you feel better to know he has sinned while thinking you may not have? I am not trying to be mean or harsh but every time I come across such questions it seems that is the point of them. Folks want to relieve their guilt by pointing the finger at others....whose fault is it? What if the woman was dressed in a way she perceived to be modest and was still lusted after?
Huh??? What does this have to do with me? I asked a hypothetical question.What is the point of playing the blame game? What does any of us do that isn't mixed with sin? Would it make you feel better to know he has sinned while thinking you may not have? I am not trying to be mean or harsh but every time I come across such questions it seems that is the point of them. Folks want to relieve their guilt by pointing the finger at others.
What about the second part of my question? What if the woman dresses in a way she believes to be modest and is not dressing with the intention to make men notice, yet she is still lusted after?In the case you hypothesize, both the man and the woman would be sinning. He would be lusting [Mt. 5:28]. She would be comporting herself immodestly [1 Tim. 2:9].
Well my friend, aside from the biblical mandate to hold all guilty parties accountable [Lev. 20:10-18], there is a valuable pastoral principle to be observed.What is the point of playing the blame game? What does any of us do that isn't mixed with sin? Would it make you feel better to know he has sinned while thinking you may not have? I am not trying to be mean or harsh but every time I come across such questions it seems that is the point of them. Folks want to relieve their guilt by pointing the finger at others.
What about the second part of my question? What if the woman dresses in a way she believes to be modest and is not dressing with the intention to make men notice, yet she is still lusted after?
The key here is dressing with the INTENTION of making men take notice. Only then would it be wrong on the woman's part.
The Biblical mandate is the Gospel of forgiveness. You are right that there are times when particular sins need to be dealt with but it is actually a rare thing. Trying to figure out who is sinning is a game folks love to play because it takes their eyes off of what they are doing. If we would deal with our own sin we wouldn't have time to worry about someone else's.Well my friend, aside from the biblical mandate to hold all guilty parties accountable [Lev. 20:10-18], there is a valuable pastoral principle to be observed.
While the following does not speak directly to the OP, it does address your concern:
A few years ago, I dealt with a couple on the verge of divorce. He said "She refuses to have sex with me. No sex, no marriage." She said, "I'm not having sex with this goof. He habitually uses porn!" Ultimately, she filed for divorce. He left the church voluntarily, even though we asked him not to. She desired to keep her membership, but was refused.
Our leadership took some heat for their approach. Angry comments about the woman being the innocent party, or porn usage being equivalent to adultery, filled my inbox each morning for days on end. While the Elders and I had told the church about what happened and why the couple were leaving, we had sought to limit the details ---- there are some things people simply don't need to hear. But as tensions continued to climb over the next two weeks, we finally decided to publically explain why we were inclined to offer pastoral care to the highly repentant husband, and not his disgruntled wife.
You see, early into their five year marriage she had decided to reduce (and ultimately eliminate) the physical aspect of their relationship, because she simply doesn't enjoy sex. She had admitted to us that in order to accomplish her goal she had purchased a number of porn videos for her husband, hoping to redirect his interests. When the split came, she readily acknowledged her part in hooking her husband on porn, but still insisted that the whole thing was his fault. The man repented. She did not. Were they both guilty? Yes. But their mutual guilt helped to reframe our disciplinary decision.
Consequently, I find the OP's question both valid and helpful.
Perhaps we're speaking from different perspectives. I was addressing the issue of church discipline relating to disobedient members, whereby the Lord commands us to deal with the sins of others [Mt. 18:15-18]. Indeed, we are also instructed to judge others unhypocritically [Mt. 7:1-5]. There can be no forgiveness if one is not first willing to face one's guilt.The Biblical mandate is the Gospel of forgiveness. You are right that there are times when particular sins need to be dealt with but it is actually a rare thing. Trying to figure out who is sinning is a game folks love to play because it takes their eyes off of what they are doing. If we would deal with our own sin we wouldn't have time to worry about someone else's.
First let me say that I highly respect you and enjoy reading your posts. It wasn't and isn't my intention to be disrespectful in any way. That being said( here comes the bombshell after buttering you upPerhaps we're speaking from different perspectives. I was addressing the issue of church discipline relating to disobedient members, whereby the Lord commands us to deal with the sins of others [Mt. 18:15-18]. Indeed, we are also instructed to judge others unhypocritically [Mt. 7:1-5]. There can be no forgiveness if one is not first willing to face one's guilt.
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