Idle hands

[looksgood]

Do you ever get bored? I don't mean just plain want something to do, I mean bored of this world. I seem to be bored a lot lately. It isn't a suisidal or even depresion, it is just...boredom. I have nothing to do most of my days so I sit at this computer. I don't really know how to get this feeling across to you.

I have a job, but thats all. I think what I am feeling is what soloman felt in eclisiastis (spelling bad). But I have no wife, no home, and generaly nothing to enjoy. I work to keep my parents from losing their home. I live with them, but consider nothing mine. Maybe I gave too much of myself...I don't know. No...forget I just said that last thing. I am drained. Thousands of things God shows me in His word and in prayers, but no one to share them with. At least no one close to me anyway.

Some times when I get like this I spend my time in foolishness. It is a heart felt boredom. Does anyone know what I am tring to say?

Pray for me...I need it.

 

[Evening Mist]

I think maybe I know something of how you are feeling now, though my situation is very different. As a stay-at-home-mother, my level of activity is either feast or famine. Either too much stress, too much interaction, too much giving, too much of everything ----- or else the opposite. Long hours of listening to my children playing, waiting for them to need me, wishing I had some outlet for the thoughts in my head, wondering when it will be time to sleep again.... Lately, my life has looked more like the latter scenerio and I feel myself slipping into a depression of sorts. Which tells me that its time to make some phone calls. Time to join a comitee, or find part time work, or take a class. Something.

For me -- its a matter of balance. Taking on enough to feel stimulated, but not so much that my children suffer. I crave balance, though I have no idea what it might look like!

In your shoes, from what you've said, I think I would find it somewhat easier to get involved in something meaningfull. I hear that you feel drained. I hear that you fear you've given too much. Which makes my suggestion sound enormous and overwhelming I'm sure -- but I really think you need to find a ministry of some sort to be involved in. I think you need to take on a children's sunday school class to teach, or serve breakfast to homeless people on the weekends, or volunteer for habitat for humanity, or *something.* Anything to get you out of the house, interacting with others, and keeping your hands busy. At first, it may well feel like another drain. But before you know it, you will have made friends and the work will begin to feed your soul.

It sounds as if you have a lot to offer.

 

[looksgood]

Actualy, that isn't a bad thought. I do a bit of ministry on the net but it is not as fulfilling as it could be. But ya know, I have been in prayer and study and even preaching almost 24/7. I pulled for so many people, but it seems at times I am on my own. To tell the truth I don't understand this feeling.

You are also right that I have a lot to offer. I been through some fires that some have yet to come out of. God has opend His word to me, and provided me with understanding and wisdom. More than that though, I am devoted to Him, and even if I go through dry times I been through enough to know I got the rock flowing with water following me.

I think you do know what I am talking about. I am either stressed out or laxed in my thoughts. It is hard to find a ballance. But I may do one of those things ya suggested. Maybe I will have the time lol.

 

[Evening Mist]

Well, maybe we can encourage each other a bit on this one. Sometimes its hard for me to find the courage to get started on something. I'm scared of taking on a comittment that I may not enjoy or be able to handle, but that is no excuse not to try, KWIM?

Here is what I've done. I've called someone at my child's school and left a message about possibly doing comitee work. I've also filled out an application to work with children at the YMCA, which I know I'd be good at, but I'm am stressed out at the thought of what to do with my own children during that time! Instead of trusting God to work out the details, I'm just procrastinating taking in the application! I've also looked at the graduate course catalog for the local university and found a course I'd love to take in the spring, but I'm very worried about where the tuition would come from.

So, what are your options? What are your obstacles? Mental and physical? What can you find the motivation to try?

 

[looksgood]

So, what are your options?

Well, I really don't know many options. I thought about that habitat for humanity thing but I think they have requirments I can't meet. I really just don't know what is around me.

What are your obstacles? Mental and physical?

Pleanty. Time is a big problem. I never know when I have to go into work or what may be going on. Money is another problem. I am working at this job and hardly making ends meet. I can't really even pay for gas. I am one man working to support a family of 4 who are in debt to our ears. My dad is mentaly ill and suisidal as well as scitso, manic depresive, and a tad homisidal. He is unable to work, and my mom has to watch over him. My brother has used up my $ by causeing me to pay for his bail and a lawyer. I am not too phycicaly fit, but able to handle a regular job. Mentaly, I am spent. I survived drive bys, street fights and so on. All those things kinda wore me down lol.

What can you find the motivation to try?

I can find the motivation to try almost anything. I just have a lot of limits.

I think I just want what most people call a life. I been through a lot, but I have no life of my own.

 

[Evening Mist]

looksgood -- are your parents receiving any disability? Are they eligible for any public assistance? If they are not, you should look into it. Programs exist for situations like yours, and if anyone needs it -- your family does. You shouldn't be carrying this burden alone. Also, if your dad is diagnosed as not-competent to be left alone, there may well be respit programs available to you mom so that she can get some air now and then.

 

[princess_ballet]

And I feel like I never have any time to myself!

 

[looksgood]

Yeah my dad gets disability but it isn't enough. I am not carring the whole load, but it is still a big one. So far I been the only one keeping my mom from litteraly losing her mind, and I been dealing with all our situations. My mom even told me that it feels like I am the families guard. I never heard of those respit programs. Could you tell me more?

 

[looksgood]

By the way, I just came back from church. A good service always makes me feel better. Thank God for a good church.

 

[Blessed-one]

uh, you do seems to have a problem there... do attend the fellowship in church for your age? (if there's one) that would be a good place to grow and support each other.

 

[SAVEVERYONE]

I get bored from time to time, knowing my home is not on this earth, my home is in heaven, sometimes want nothing to do with materialistic things on this earth, dont want any of it, {all I want is Jesus my sweet Jesus} but God Quickly encourages me and points me into the right direction, he lets me know I have a mission on this earth to accomplish for him and his kingdom.

 

[Evening Mist]

Respite programs are out there. My inlaws use one for their aging mother. I'm not sure how to get started. I think I would call the dept. of social services, and I would check the yellow pages or the net. and try to find the right contact for your area.

It does sound like you need some "fresh air" spiritually speaking. Between your home situation and sitting at the internet all day long... I know I would be suffocating. Call Habitat. Ask them what you can do. Get outdoors for a saturday and just see how you feel.

I am praying for you.

 

[looksgood]

Thx evening. I just got off work right now. I don't know why but I kinda like the feeling that I have acomplished something with my day.

Yes I do indeed Love those at my church, in fact I find myself missing them a lot. Of course there is no one my age lol. I really only have sunday and wensday. I suppose I do need some god loving friends. It is hard to find any though.

I think I may call habitat. LOL Who knows, maybe I will get a home built for me one day lol.

If ya can't tell I am in a better mood today. Good chuch last night and I got to work today.

 

[Evening Mist]

I'm so glad!!!

 

[Blessed-one]

serious? no one of your age at church? and i thought my church is small enough...